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  1. Johanna GGG

    oh dear this looks like many severe cases of culinary identity crisis – whatever happened to the days when it was simple to go shopping – why do manufacturers think we want even more choice – I am over these new flavours that are just about adding more sugar and colours! Edamame and kale dip sounds v interesting though (but please tell me you don’t dip chocolate coconut raw bar in in 🙂

  2. Lizzi

    I will not tell a lie: I want to eat every last one of these things.

  3. Margaret

    This is quite scary because these products wouldn’t exist if the market didn’t want them.
    Clearly there is demand, and supermarket space would not be given to them if they weren’t good sellers.
    I think the polar extremes in society are growing wider – in America it is possible to purchase the healthiest, most pure and organic food as well as the junkiest (is that a word? It’s not underlined in red!), GMO, artificially coloured foods.

  4. Camille

    1) I would eat those s’more goldfish as a breakfast cereal. If I were eight years old.


  5. leaf (the indolent cook)

    Oh gosh. Sandwiches in a box. We have come to this. By the way, how was the GoPicnic thing?

  6. Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table

    You know my feelings on pop-tarts. I just have a mild curiosity about the PP flavor though.

    I saw the snack pack at the airport Monday and was tempted. It will happen one day, not gonna lie.

  7. Suzanne

    I just laughed my way through this whole post. It’s scary what the food industry will do to get consumers to buy. What’s next, cupcake flavoured broccoli? Ice cream flavoured carrots? Gosh, I hope not…

  8. Cadry

    I did touring children’s theatre through Southern California for over a decade, and at lunch times it was very common to see those pre-made PB&J sandwiches in plastic wrap sitting on lunch trays with a whole lot of other plastic wrapped pseudo foods. It makes you marvel that we’ve gone so far from having fresh lunch made in some schools that now even PB&J would be too difficult.

    I can’t believe that they’re able to sell them since, like you said, it’s the world’s easiest sandwich to make. But apparently there is a market! And hey, it’s marketed as being on whole wheat bread… So it must be healthy! 😉

  9. Alayna @ Thyme Bombe

    Woeful are the malformed spawn of junk food incest. Pity them.

    I feel like all American marketing has taken a turn for the weird. It’s like we’ve become so desensitized to traditional advertising that we’ve had to start down this scary path of Frankenstein’s monter-esque mythological food creatures, each with the body of a Cheeto and the head of a Fig Newton, lashing its tail of Twizzlers in malice. That’ll get the attention of all those milk-drunk kids!

  10. Louise

    I can’t believe that there is a need for frozen round, lets not forget the round that’s rather a big factor here, whole wheat crustless peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Surely humanity has not sunk the to the level that we need even sandwiches prepared for us? I just rewatched Wall-E tonight, and there are striking similarities- blue is the new red. I must admit though this sort of stuff is why I absolutely adore touring supermarkets when I travel- it’s a particularly fascinating insight into the new cultures one is exploring- even if we don’t quite understand what it is telling us.

  11. Kath (My Funny Little Life)

    Hahahahahaha! Ugh. 😯

  12. Appetite Affliction

    Haha! I love the way you write. Always makes me laugh. I also love scouring out supermarkets in new places… This is typically horrifying. Maybe I should go on one of these missions soon!

  13. Shenandoah Vegan

    I often think about posting some of the disgusting processed food hybrids that I see in the grocery, but I don’t think anything I’ve seen could top what you just showed us.

  14. janet @ the taste space

    This is too funny, Hannah. The goldfish soup is just plain wrong… But even I was tempted by the snack pack. I think I will pay more attention in the grocery stores on our road trip down to Houston. This is hilarious. 🙂

  15. Hotly Spiced

    This is very funny Hannah but also so tragic. It’s so sad there’s actually a market for all this junk. Why do so many Americans (and I suppose a lot of Westerners) have such an aversion to real food! xx

  16. Kari @ bite-sized thoughts

    Oh dear. I’m so glad you photographed but didn’t try, because I suspect you’d have needed more than the edamame dip as an intervention if you had!

  17. Lacey @ Life Hands You Limes

    But wait, no! It gets worse! In elementary school they would feed us the smackers uncrustables, but in “GRILLED CHEESE “FLAVOR. It was disgusting! They would heat the whole thing up in the oven, plastic wrapper and all, but the ‘cheese’ would separate and your bites would vary from molten hot cheese lava grossness to a pocket of pure grease between white bread. And a lot of those things (pop tarts, packaged pb&j, goldfish etc) are in the vending machines at my high school. Geez.
    Although, I do admit, I take pictures of those things at stores to both revel in the ridiculousness and get the idea for recreating it (like red velvet pop tarts). Also I bought cupcake gum. It tasted like raspberry sorbet. disappointment thy name is american snack food.

  18. Currently. | Life Hands You Limes

    […] Hannah’s American snack food review. […]

  19. Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella

    All of those crazy snacks! That reminds me, have you seen that show Extreme Couponing? Where they pronounce coupon as “kew-pon”? They seem to be able to get boxes of snacks!

  20. Gabby @ the veggie nook

    Clearly everyone needs to jump on the current cupcake trend that has been sweeping North America. I guess sprinkles make everything better?

    The fact that I associate Goldfish with cheese will probably make said sweet flavours taste like cheese to me. Which is gross. I just can’t help it but once I get an association in my mind I can’t shake it!

  21. msihua

    Scary indeed.. aliens they are! All the sugar literally gone into their heads to make them think of such gross sounding food (or what constitutes to look like food)!