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  1. Lauren aka Ms Baklover

    Oh noes!! I was so excited when I saw the post title. I adore “hard-core” dark chocolate like you, but some versions are nothing but crumbly, sour yuckiness that refuse to melt in your mouth at all. What a shame.

    I must seek out the other dark choccies you recommended!

    I don’t have any good suggestions except maybe a mud cake, and increase the sugar a little in the recipe? My all-time favourite recipe is on (if you google chocolate mud cake recipe, it should come up in the results).

  2. L-Izzle

    How sad! I reckon it could be salvaged by melting it and having it with THE PRESENT I BOUGHT YOU 🙂 :)\
    Preferably on pancakes, crepes, oatmeal, waffles, crumpets, ice cream or… I don’t know…pickled onions. It’d be THAT good.

  3. Jess

    Don’t put it ON stuff, put it IN stuff. Make another batch of chocolate-chip cookies, with the remaining Lindt bars bashed to pieces (wouldn’t that be satisfying?) and strewn through the dough. Surely that would rescue it, with it embedded amid copious amounts of sugar and butter?

    I have a friend who complains endlessly about Brisbane’s degrees of separation (1 to 2 degrees, by her estimates). The thing is, she knows about a million people, so it’s not surprising that they collectively know the other million she doesn’t directly know. But apparently this Brisbane effect is widespread. I’ve just… never encountered it. Ever. I’ve never talked to someone and found out they knew someone I knew. Never. People jump to the Brisbane effect conclusion when I mention that my best friend from high school is dating my boyfriend’s brother. OMG THE COINCIDENCE. Well, not really. She started dating the guy, realised several months later that he had a brother, and she set me up with said brother, and we got on like a house on fire that has been liberally doused in the world’s 10 most flammable chemicals. So no coincidence.

    So yeah… people in Brisbane who complain about everyone knowing everyone obviously need to move to Canberra and get some perspective. We’ve got almost 6 times as many residents! Or we can all move to Mumbai and maybe we’ll never have these small degrees of separation ever again…

  4. Nirmala

    Oh, that’s disappointing! Too bad. Also, I’m drooling over your chocolate chip cookies. I just made a batch too, that were excellent. Almost 1 T of butter per cookie!

  5. Fiona

    Canberra is very very small 🙂

    At least I’m not related to everyone here tho, unlike Newcastle…

  6. Lisa (bakebikeblog)

    oh my god – you are so right ! I swear there are about 3 degrees of separation in this here little town! It can be quite scary at times!

  7. Kath Lockett

    Wow….(shakes head)…… that’s such a disappointment for you. I’m with Jess – put it in things and add copious amounts of brown sugar and cream…?

  8. Lauren

    Funny about the six degrees of separation. This morning I had an interview in Charlottesville, so I spent the night with a friend. 4/8 of her roommates went to middle school with me! I must say, we all look much better without the braces, bangs and reversible blue/red soccer jerseys.

    (About that — interview went so well! I prepared like CRAZY, and I really might have a chance this year. I am trying to frantically finish an essay tonight, though, before leaving for China.)

    I cannot even fathom what a 99% bar might taste like to me. Wine? Dirt? And speaking of bacon chocolate — we’ve had a German exchange student with us for the past two weeks, and we fed her the bacon bar. She wrinkled her nose.

    Hmm, but where to put it? I really can’t say. Any dogs you hate…? (I kid, folks, I kid. You should hear the baby talk I use on my Border Collies.)

  9. Amber Shea @Almost Vegan

    99%? Jeezus, I don’t think I could handle that. And then you said “seawater, iron, and sweat”… ::Stomach lurches and churns:: Somebody hand me a Kinder bar! 😛

  10. Anna Johnston

    Gawd…., now what do I do…, your my chokky guru & if you don’t know what to do with this stylishly looking but boring piece of chocolate… !!!! I wish you well on your quest.
    So., howz this one for degrees of separation for you! There I was about a year ago swanning around the Caribbean.., yes, its true.., we made our way to yet another bar to sit near the water, listen to a local band playing while we sipped another rum based cocktail & realised the couple sitting at the table behind us were English speaking…, possibly Kiwis or maybe from Oz…., but nuhh, they came from Canberra, the only weird thing was we’d never met but we did know heaps of people in common). It was slightly eerie when we thought of it.

  11. Vaala ◪

    Hahaha! New Zealand is a bit like that. My Aunt and Uncle met each other while they were both traveling overseas…turns out that they lived round the road from each other back at home.

    And what to do with the chocolate…hmmm, you’ve already mentioned the oatmeal idea but you could chop it up and put it in cookies (and send them to ME!!) or make hot chocolate with it…?

  12. Louise

    I just love your Six Degrees of Canberra Bacon. Too funny.

    I can’t say I’m surprised about your reaction to the 99%, only that I remain surprised at your like of the other high/high too high % . I can only imagine that the Lindt 99% tastes like that awful 100% bar I had a tiny morsel of.

    As to what to do with your 99%? I think the suggestion to put it in things is a good one- baking would seem to make the most sense. Could you make a hot chocolate?

  13. Iron Chef Shellie

    lol loved the introduction.
    perhaps this should just be a cooking chocolate! =/

  14. Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella

    I have to admit I’m not a fan of eating high percentage cocoa chocolate. The only high % one I like is Amedei Chuao and that is only 70%. The only thing I can suggest is bake with it and balance it with a milk chocolate (hehe some of a super sweet bar). Perhaps they’ll balance each other out and you’ll come across a chocolate miracle! 🙂

  15. Camille

    I would have looked, but my back is currently to the wall, and while you are quite thin, I’d be very surprised if you could fit in that space. (I wish you were here, though. I’m home sick – again – and would love to take a naughty trip to Blé Sucré with you!)

    On a more relevant note, you have hit on everything I don’t like about Lindt in general: the astringency, the lingering metallic flavor, the bleh of it all. My suggestion is to cook with it. Put it in mole; melt it down with some butter (and maybe some tastier 60-70% chocolate) and mix it with powdered sugar and sour cream for the best chocolate icing ever; there are plenty of cake, cookie, and brownie recipes out there that call for unsweetened chocolate, use it in those.

  16. Camille

    Oh, I almost forgot. Canberra sounds a lot like Reno in the social network arena. I lived there for six months and it was time to leave. 🙂

  17. Conor @ HoldtheBeef

    🙁 my first thought when you said it was awful was that you have multiple bars of this to get through, then I hoped I was remembering wrong, but no, no I am not. Bugger.

    When you make soup or something and it is too salty, you put in a potato. Have you tried doing this to the chocolate?

  18. Monique@She's Going The Distance

    hahaha that would be awesome if my six degrees of separation ended in chocolate. I think I could handle that.

    (I, too, come from a very small town)

  19. Johanna GGG

    I would use it as melted chocolate in baking and up the sugar content if needed (though often chocolate recipes are sweet enough) – a hedgehog slice or flourless chocolate cake are good uses of melted chocolate that come to mind readily! And having 5 blocks you can do a bit of experimenting to find the best way to bake with it! Hope to hear what you do with it

  20. Heidi - Apples Under My Bed

    I love dark chocolate, but despised lindt 99% cocoa. I actually had to spit it out. It tasted like burnt coffee. Such a shame, as I so wanted to insist that I was a hardcore dark chocolate lover. Maybe mix it with a whole lot of cream or butter? hehe.
    Heidi xo

  21. whisperinggums

    I didn’t look, I promise. I know exactly where you are now – more or less. But, Six degrees of Canberra Bacon DID make me splutter.

  22. ~L.K.

    I just found your site and have been enjoying all the posts so far. I love chocolate and thought the name of you blog looked promising (and is so far).

    I was curious, on the subject of overly salted chocolate, if you’ve ever tried Vosges’ Habana bar. I don’t know if it was a fluke or what, but it was extremely salty. The bar is supposed to be plantain chips and a dark milk chocolate. However, I couldn’t taste anything except for the salt. Made me quite disappointed.

  23. Agnes

    Hmm… I’m pretty sure I’ve tried the 99% in the past and didn’t mind it. So you could always give it to me! Hehee. Other option: eat one square of the it with a square of Cadburys. The sweetness should negate the saltiness? :p

  24. Reg

    The way I got used to this was eating a square once every half hour on a train ride from Melbourne to Sydney.

    The only snack I brought along…with a book

    Got great thoughts on that trip 🙂

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  28. Jane

    I love the Lindt 99% bar. Each to their own I guess