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16 comments | Leave your own

  1. croquecamille

    Let this be a lesson: Callebaut sucks. (And a side note, in the US, when a restaurant says they use “Belgian chocolate,” it’s Callebaut. That’s why so many restaurant chocolate desserts are disappointing.)

    In the French commercials for that Nestlé bar, they make a point of how the chocolate is shaped to be held just so, which ostensibly increases the eater’s (or holder’s, I guess) pleasure. True story.

  2. Vaala ◪

    The funniest thing I thought about this title was the Extra Fine Plain Chocolate. How could you describe chocolate as plain? It hardly makes it sound appetising. Fine and Plain together also…fine is like saying something is good…it has no description of any real value. I love how we are picking apart a description on a block of chocolate like it’s an English essay (good choice of book by the way).

  3. Kath Lockett

    ‘taste filling’, erk. Luckily Nestle followed on from such a bad experience – good luck for them and you.

  4. L-Izzle

    Gosh… disappointing pistachio products BREAK MY HEART. I know I say it all the time, but well done pistachio-flavoured stuff (ie. pistachios :p)? SO GOOD. But so horrible and often awfully mecidinal when done badly.

    But, oddly enough, I can imagine myself quite enjoying the sickly-solid-big-hunk-o-sugar-ness of this bar, if in the right mood. Just, unfortunately, i don’t imagine myself to very often be in that mood. Hmm. Bummer.

  5. Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella

    That sounds so bad it actually makes me wonder if it was completely off or something! I mean who would release that?

  6. hungryandfrozen

    Gosh, the Pistachio stuff sounds so sexy in French, you wouldn’t think it would be that awful. Thank goodness you had all those other excellent chocolate experiences. Also, the photo of the Nestle chocolate make me think of typewriter keys…(also, did I read right that you wrote a thesis about chocolate? Kudos!)

  7. Simply Life

    ha, I never would have noticed the book behind the chocolate -love it! 🙂

  8. Hannah

    Camille: I didn’t think it was a crash-hot chocolate – glad to have a master confirm this for me 🙂 But I don’t understand that commerical… held just how?!

    Vaala: I agree, “Extra Fine Plain” is a contradiction in terms. Oh, the hilarity of bad translations. I came across some real translation hoots in Europe, although nothing like what you find in Japan! (I haven’t been able to find the Sookie Stackhouse book I’m up to anywhere. Methinks it’s the universe telling me to finish Bleak House.)

    Kath: The “shhh” part is that the Nestle followed on about two weeks later… but such is the magic of blogging, right?

    L-Izzle: Honestly, I don’t think you would. I know you like sweet things, but this was even worse than, say, sucking on a sugar cube. It was so… clogging in the mouth. And I know that makes no grammatical sense, but trust me on this. And there wasn’t even “bad” pistachio. It was just… green.

    Lorraine: I don’t think it was off, as there was no “bad” flavour. Just unending and cloying solid sweet bleugh. Though I wouldn’t be surprised if, say, an American kid raised on Lucky Charms loved it! 😛

    Laura: Most things sound sexy in French 🙂 Technically, I wrote a thesis about ethical consumption, but this was pretty much structured around me wanting to write about chocolate. So Askinosie, Cadbury’s, Green & Blacks, Organic Meltdown Chocolate, Nestle… they all got analysed 😛 Right now I’m deciding whether or not to continue down that road with a PhD!

    Simply Life: My blog is deep and layered like the ocean 😀

  9. croquecamille
  10. Hannah

    Camille: *laughs raucously* Just once, I want to see a sexy MAN chocolate ad.

  11. Vaala ◪

    My cousin lent me the whole collection (and Season 1 of True Blood…just waiting for her to buy Season 2 and then I can have a couple of “tragic no life” weekends again!. Unfortunately I went on a library rampage and got out a whole lot of books there so I have to finish them first before I can go back to Sookie again but she is on my mind! If you were closer I’d lend them out.

  12. Hannah

    Vaala: Darn the tyranny of distance! I appreciate the thought though 🙂 All the friends I have who’ve read them borrowed them from other people whom I don’t know. Though your library idea is a good one, what with my between-jobs-ness and all…

  13. Conor @ HoldtheBeef

    The “pistachio taste filling” reminds me of those HJs ads last year for their “Eggs Benny” breakfast which has “hollandaise style sauce”.

    Yuck, and yuck.

  14. Louise

    Oh, I feel so honoured. And what an interesting post it made too. Otherwise how would we have learnt about Pistachio Taste Filling- and your thesis topic! Where did you buy the Worst.Chocolate.Ever? You know if I see it I’m going to be mightily tempted. Can it really be that bad? I do trust your palate and judgement, but still, can it really be that bad? I’m not big on Nestle either, but will probably need to check out the new form for plaisir. Not too sure about the russian doll Charlaine Harris though.

  15. Hannah

    Conor: Yuck, yuck AND yuck. Plus, “Eggs Benny”? Lame-o. Though you know what? I don’t think I’ve ever eaten Hungry Jacks in my life.

    Louise: Never say I don’t listen 😛 I found this in a little grocery store in Bruges, and can’t remember if I saw it anywhere in Paris. It wasn’t bad in the tastes-rotten-or-off sense, so if you like making near-solid pastes out of icing sugar and water, it might be nice?

  16. Christoper Zimmerman

    Really awesome writing! Truely.