Tag Archives: Trader Joe’s

Trader Joe’s Organic Stone Ground Salt & Pepper Dark Chocolate

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Oh, Trader Joe’s. You are the only grocery store I have ever patronised that employs a bouncer at the door, and for this you will always have a strange (and amused) place in my heart.

Did I ever tell you that story, readers o’ mine? When I was gadding about with Laura in New York City last October, we tried to visit the Union Square Trader Joe’s only to be rebuffed by the bouncer at the door who pointed us to the end of the line that was already snaking down the block. Every few minutes, the bouncer would let a few more people trickle inside to begin their shopping.

I mean, well, really, Trader Joe’s. Even when I was in Vegas I didn’t have to line up for clubbing. I was escorted into the dazzlingness of the club like a VIP, past the waiting lines of hoi polloi, as soon as I (and my posse) were spotted by the club promoter.

But none of this is relevant to today’s chocolate.

Trader Joe’s Organic Stone Ground Salt & Pepper Dark Chocolate

Trader Joe’s Organic Stone Ground Salt & Pepper Dark ChocolateDescribed as “a traditional Mexican-style chocolate, stone milled in small batches”, Trader Joe’s Organic Stone Ground Salt & Pepper Dark Chocolate looks to be a repackaged version of Taza chocolate. Stone milled, in this instance, means that the texture is very rough, with clear sugar crystals crunching like tiny little gems beneath the teeth.

Trader Joe’s Organic Stone Ground Salt & Pepper Dark ChocolateThere are only four ingredients in this Trader Joe’s chocolate: organic cocoa nibs, organic cane sugar, organic cracked black pepper, and kosher salt. The aroma was deeply cocoa-based with faint spice, toffee, and fruity lime notes.

Trader Joe’s Organic Stone Ground Salt & Pepper Dark ChocolateWith each bite came the (expected) shock of the crunchy texture, and then the (unexpected) shock of a flavour I didn’t see coming: margaritas. I don’t know how, but somehow the tanginess of the salt, the sweetness of the sugar crystals, and the fruitiness of the cacao combined into a zingy-lime-tropical-zest-slightly-peppery-plus-always-salty taste that reminded me of a margarita. Somehow. I don’t know. I might be crazy. I may not even know for sure what a margarita tastes like. I don’t know. I’m confused. I’m so confused. I think I liked this. But I’m so confused.

A bit like how I was confused about having to line up to enter a long-established grocery store in the middle of the day in New York.

Trader Joe’s Mini Milk Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups and Vosges Mo’s Dark Bar

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I had grand plans for how blog-productive I’d be once I moved into my current sublet. I thought I’d sit down and create a big stash of ready-to-publish drafts to call upon during future hectic moments.

It hasn’t quite worked out that way. In truth, I’ve been writing a great deal, but when I’m at my computer, the words that come pouring out swirl and crash and shudder until they coalesce into poetry, not blogposts. And I don’t have the courage to publish my poetry here. Anywhere, really.

So, instead, my failsafe: chocolate reviews, because I can take myself out of the equation when describing the heady mix of cacao beans, sugar, and cacao butter.

Trader Joe’s Mini Milk Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups

Trader Joe’s Mini Milk Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups

If ever a chocolate confection needed no review but for the words YES I WILL YES, it would be these Trader Joe’s Mini Milk Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups.

Trader Joe’s Mini Milk Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups

Would I love these more if they were made with dark chocolate and were vegan? Yes I would yes. But will my lactardation ever preclude my buying and mainlining these tiny little tip-of-my-pinky-finger-sized chocolate peanut butter cups of heaven? No it will not no.

Dear Trader Joe’s Mini Milk Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups: YES I WILL YES.

Vosges Mo’s Dark Bar: Dark Chocolate with Hickory Smoked Bacon

Vosges Mo's Dark Bar

Well, if we’re already riding the not-vegan chocolate train, we may as well also toot the horn and pull on our invisibility cloak so as to go spy on Draco.

Wait, that’s a different train.

I want butterbeer. Now.

Vosges Mo's Dark Bar

I tried the original Vosges Mo’s Bacon Bar back in 2007, and found myself amused by the taste of salty bacon mixed with milk chocolate. Nowadays, though, I’m somewhat bored by the whole chocolate + salt malarkey, and am even more disinterested in porky desserts, so I purchased Vosges’ new dark chocolate version with ennui.

Vosges Mo's Dark Bar

Eh. Ennui. The chocolate was sweeter than I expected, but then again it’s only 62% cacao, so my expectations were likely off track to begin with. The strongest flavours were salt and smoke, with the bacon presenting less as meatiness than chewy salt. A few years ago, I likely would have enjoyed this more, but right now? Pass me back the bucket of mini chocolate peanut butter cups, please.

Terrifying Large Teddy Bear at Rocky Mountain Chocolate Shop Cold Stone Creamery in Lawrence, Kansas

In lieu of a third chocolate review, please accept this photo of a terrifying teddy bear that I stumbled across with Amber in Lawrence one day. He brings whole new meaning to the lyrics “if you go down in the woods today / you’re sure of a big surprise…”

I’m going to go now. Not into the woods, though, unless it’s the Sondheim kind. Anyhoodle, have a wondrous day, okay? You deserve it.

Toronto Fun, Madécasse Chocolate Sea Salt and Nibs, and Trader Joe’s Chocolate Covered Nibs

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Yesterday was a day of ups and downs. To wit:

Up: Glorious sunshine, blue skies, crisp air, autumn beauty, walking in and out of dappled brightness along streets lined with excited children awaiting the Santa Clause Parade.

Down: No rush tickets available for The National Ballet’s Alice in Wonderland.

Wobbly in Toronto

Up: Finding two perfectly-fitting pairs of pants/jeans in the first store I entered. (I have a one-trip-to-the-fitting-room-this-better-work-out tolerance level when it comes to clothes shopping.)

Down: Losing my balance and cracking my hand against the stool in the changeroom whilst trying to pull off the second pair of skinny jeans in aforementioned store. Bleeding.

Up: Laughing with Lisa over our hitting-too-close-to-home-yet-hilarious-for-that-very-reason repartee until we have tears in our eyes and I topple off the couch then under the coffee table to escape the giggle-induced-inability-to-breathe situation/words.

Down: Not being able to share with you the particular lines that set us off. What’s said in Toronto, stays in Toronto.

Up: Madly trying to write up the dozens of chocolate reviews I still have to post so that I can buy more deliciousness.

Down: No downs when it comes to chocolate. All is well.

Madécasse Chocolate 63% Sea Salt and Nibs

Madécasse Chocolate 63% Sea Salt and Nibs

Madécasse is a brilliant American bean-to-bar company created by two men who, after working in the Peace Corps in Madagascar, wanted to find a way to go beyond fairtrade to work directly with, and help create sustainable work and lives for, cocoa  bean farmers and their communities.

I actually met one of the founders of Madécasse back in 2010 in a New York Whole Foods store, and I’ve always regretted not staying in touch with him. After all, I’m all for making the world a sparklier place through equality, fairness, and chocolate.

Madécasse Chocolate 63% Sea Salt and Nibs

Madécasse Chocolate’s 63% dark chocolate with sea salt and cacao nibs had a unique aroma shimmering with notes of lemonade, apple, fruity pineapple, and ocean sea spray (seriously). The bite was supremely crisp, with a strong crunch coming from the nibs on the bar’s underside. The strongest flavour notes were toffee and caramel, with the nibs contributing a tangy twist at the end of each bite. The salt zinging through the rich molten-chocolate-fondant-esque 63% blend made me feel like I was standing on the beach, looking into a rock pool, salty air on my lips.

This is quite a tangy chocolate, with lemon, red currant, lime, and salt creating nuance against the strong (yet not bitter) tones of the chocolate. Intense and lovely.

 Trader Joe’s Dark Chocolate Nibs

Trader Joe’s Dark Chocolate Nibs

You might recognise these Trader Joe’s Dark Chocolate Nibs from the pillow of my Laura Ingalls Wilder attic room in Carmel Valley (and the bowl, below, from my escape to Austin several weeks later). I adore both dark chocolate and cocoa nibs, so this gift was all but guaranteed to be a winner.

Trader Joe’s Dark Chocolate Nibs

Readers, these nibs were a winner. Crunchy smoky nibs coated in rich 65% dark chocolate, the flavour was like taking a spoonful of just-baked brownies straight from the pan, the texture a combination of crunch and silkiness. There were notes of vanilla and liqueur, with woodsiness coming from the nibs. If only Trader Joe’s existed in Canada.

Chocolatepalooza: Rococo, Perfection, Trader Joe’s

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In keeping with my recently reinstated quest to translate all my waffling chocolate tasting notes into blog reviews so that I can justify buying and eating more chocolate (more chocolate! more chocolate! ‘Muricah!), here are four chocolate treats I was generously given way, way back in that place called Australia.

Rococo Basil and Persian Lime Organic Dark Chocolate

Rococo Chocolates Basil and Persian Lime

If I turned the packaging for this Rococo Basil and Persian Lime Organic Dark Chocolate into wallpaper, I’d likely have nightmares six nights out of seven. And the seventh would only be dream-free if I self-medicated with bottles of Captain Morgan Spiced Rum right before bedtime. That aside, this fancypants UK chocolate was sent to me by my friend Jessica, who also kindly gave me these Gin & Tonic and Lime Zest & Black Pepper chocolate blocks. Thank you Jess!

Rococo Chocolates Basil and Persian Lime

The aroma of Rococo’s dark basil and lime chocolate was deeply herbal, almost potpourri-like, and reminded me a little of ylang ylang essential oil. The chocolate snapped crisply, and the strongest initial flavour was definitely dried basil, with cocoa coming in softly afterwards.

The chocolate had vanilla and ice cream notes, neither smoky nor tangy. The lime wasn’t particularly strong, but did provide balance against the basil. A lovely chocolate, all told.

Perfection Chocolates Dark Peanut Clusters

Perfection Chocolates Dark Peanut ClustersPerfection Chocolates Dark Peanut Clusters

My lovely former colleague Vicky gave me these Dark Peanut Clusters for my birthday back in May, and they proved supremely satisfying whilst pushing through my final deadlines and handover documents at work. Perfection Chocolates is a Sydney-based chocolatier specialising in handmade chocolates, and these stupendously fresh-crispy roasted peanut clusters bound together with sweet dark chocolate were a wonderful snack to have hidden in my office desk drawer.

Trader Joe’s Dark Chocolate with Raisins and Pecans

Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate with Raisins and Pecans

Despite the fact that I’m now in the U.S., both of today’s Trader Joe’s chocolates came to me courtesy of my brother, who brought them back to Australia for me in January. It’s just as well he did, for I would never have chosen a bar filled with squidgy raisins myself. The squelch factor! The squelch factor!

Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate with Raisins and Pecans

I do adore pecans, though, so tried to approach the sweet 57% dark chocolate creation with an open mind. The aroma was subtle, with perhaps a hint of wine. The nuts were big and plentiful (go ahead, Amber, giggle), and the chocolate sent forth mellow caramel, caster sugar, and woodsy notes with a redcurrant aftertaste. The pecans were fresh, soft, and lovely, and the raisins weren’t utterly unbearable in their squelchy squelchiness. That’s a win, surely?

Trader Joe’s 70% Dark Chocolate Bar with Toffee, Walnuts and Pecans

Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate with Toffee, Walnuts, and Pecans

Dark chocolate with toffee, walnuts, and pecans? Oh yes, this is far more my style. I liked this chocolate from the moment I breathed it in and found that it reminded me of my Raw Vegan Brownies with Icing of Pure Amazingness. Deep cocoa, the earthy smokiness of walnuts… I took a bite and the crispy cleaving salty toffee combined with the soft crunch of the walnuts and pecans was scrumptiousness indeed.

Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate with Toffee, Walnuts, and Pecans

The toffee was buttery and salty which, set against the creamy, vanilla-permeated, and not-particularly-strong dark chocolate, made me think of the crispy edges of buttery chocolate chip cookies. Very tasty, and very easy to eat. Thanks brother-man!

Question time: Have you tried any of these chocolates? What did you think?

Trader Joe’s Dark Chocolate Caramel with Black Sea Salt

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For the first time, I feel like the preparations for my gallivant are all falling into place. Have already mostly fallen into place. Are in place. Almost.

The remaining tasks are, knock on wood, manageable within my remaining in-Australia time (fingers crossed the removalists show up tomorrow), my parents and I have booked dinner for Wednesday (my last!) night at one of our favourite fancy restaurants in Canberra, I have seen and hugged many of my dear friends, I’ve bought new check-in and carry-on luggage, and booked flights and accommodation for the first half of August.

Hannah with new luggage

New swirly-black-and-white carry-on! And what looks to be antennae and a bauble growing from my head!

Within the first half of August, plans are afoot for so many magical moments that I’m giddy-beyond-excited. Also, I just whipped up a gorgeously vibrantly deeply pink bowlful of banana cherry soft serve with cacao nibs and vanilla, which was delicious. And ate the following dark chocolate bar from Trader Joe’s. Segue?

Trader Joe’s 70% Dark Chocolate Bar Caramel with Black Sea Salt

Trader Joe’s 70% Dark Chocolate Bar Caramel with Black Sea Salt

Thank heavens I’m flying to America, rather than sailing. If I were going by sea, I’d be utterly terrified of being attacked by a marlin bigger than my ship, or by a bird-winged schoolbus-turned-airplane. Trader Joe’s, were you high when you designed this chocolate package?

Trader Joe’s 70% Dark Chocolate Bar Caramel with Black Sea Salt

That aside, lookee the pretty! Pretty sparkles of just-plain sea salt and Hawaiian Black Sea Salt! According to the package, this “Exotic Hawaiian Black Sea Salt hails from the Pacific seawater that surround the Hawaiian Islands. This stunning black salt is evaporated in above ground pools that form naturally from lava flows”.

Well. Surely the ship should be being attacked by lava, not marlin, then?

It is undeniable that this 70% dark chocolate block was gorgeous, with its glossy dark shiny chocolate, sparkling salt flakes, and thick golden flowing (albeit messy) caramel.

Trader Joe’s 70% Dark Chocolate Bar Caramel with Black Sea Salt

When I took a bite, the chocolate shattered into a whisper of lace-thin rich fruity meltingness. The caramel immediately rushed forward to steal the show with a smoky, fruity, and butterscotch sweetness that was tempered, and at times overwhelmed, by the intensity of the two types of sea salt.

The black salt and sea salt did, I must admit, sometimes attack the overall flavour of this chocolate bar just as a marlin attacks a ship.

Overall, I wish I could say that this Trader Joe’s Dark Chocolate Caramel with Black Sea Salt bar was wonderful, but it was simply a bit too salty for my liking.

My new luggage isn’t salty, though. Just so you know.