I forgot! I forgot!
I forgot to tell you that Amber and I undertook a Day of Vices during my recent Kansas City visit (just kidding, Mum, carry on), and that this day culminated in our zigzagging all over the city in an epic quest for Cherry Mash candies.
After asking at a half dozen different stores, many of which were at least somewhat respectable venues for candy hunting, we found ourselves high-fiving with Cherry Mash Finding Success in… Walmart. Sigh.
But hey, at least we found the candy, right?
I don’t know.
They sell guns and Justin Bieber Starburst Reversible Comforter Sets there.
I don’t even know what anything means anymore.
The Cherry Mash is a classic American candy bar made in Missouri, and seems to have something of a cult status as one of America’s regional, old-school confections. Calling it a candy “bar” is a bit of a stretch, though, as it’s actually a weighty ball of cherry fondant covered in a thick coating of milk chocolate and chopped peanuts.
In other words: this candy was big, y’all.
Once I cut the Cherry Mash in half, I discovered that it was not only hefty but shockingly pink inside. (Thus continued Amber’s and my quest to eat all the pink desserts.)
I can’t lie to you; the Cherry Mash was sweet. Really, really sweet. And yet, somehow, the thick milk chocolate and nubbly peanut coating tempered the fondant centre just enough that the overall taste was brought back from the searingly-cloying brink.
I would describe the Cherry Mash as a firm pillow of cherry-flavoured, Shirley Temple mocktail-reminiscent, squoodgy-creamy sugary candy. I would describe it as sometimes too sweet to bear, yet at other times completely… right.
Much like Walmart, perhaps. Sometimes cringe-inducing, sometimes exactly what you want.
But I’ll pass on the Justin Bieber paraphernalia, thanks all the same.