little tree, by e.e. cummings

Posted on December 24, 2012 by Hannah

Merry Christmas to each and every one of you out there in this incandescent topsy-turvy glorious shattering magical world of ours. As my throat is currently aching with how much I wish I could be with my family back in Australia, I thought I’d leave today’s Christmas post in more capable hands. I couldn’t find anything from my favourite poet that seemed appropriate for the festive season, so instead I offer you e.e. cummings.

little tree

- e.e. cummings

little tree
little silent Christmas tree
you are so little
you are more like a flower

who found you in the green forest
and were you very sorry to come away?
see i will comfort you
because you smell so sweetly

i will kiss your cool bark
and hug you safe and tight
just as your mother would,
only don’t be afraid

look the spangles
that sleep all the year in a dark box
dreaming of being taken out and allowed to shine,
the balls the chains red and gold the fluffy threads,

put up your little arms
and i’ll give them all to you to hold
every finger shall have its ring
and there won’t be a single place dark or unhappy

then when you’re quite dressed
you’ll stand in the window for everyone to see
and how they’ll stare!
oh but you’ll be very proud

and my little sister and i will take hands
and looking up at our beautiful tree
we’ll dance and sing
“Noel Noel”

Oreo-Topped Peanut Butter Fudge, Easily Vegan

Posted on January 14, 2012 by Hannah

Yo, Melbourne Posts. I’m really happy for you, and Imma let you finish but this oreo-topped peanut butter fudge is one of the sweetest recipes of all time. One of the sweetest recipes of all time!
- Hannye T-West

Hi folks! I promise I’ll get right back to reliving my Melbourne escapades for you after this post, but I wanted to quickly give you a recipe for something so sweet that your face might squint up in shock before dissolving into pleasure, just like the sugary morsel in your mouth will dissolve into peanut butter-y Oreo-tinted goodness.

I should probably be honest with you and tell you that I made these several weeks ago for my father for Christmas.

However, I kept some of this oreo-topped peanut butter fudge for myself and, because it freezes beautifully, I know for a fact that it’s a lovely treat when you’ve returned from a blissfully-happy holiday to not just the standard anticlimactic let-down but also a few jarring thuds and thunks to rattle the soul.

That sentence was far too long.

This one is shorter.

As is this one.

It would probably be accurate to call this a faux-fudge, as it’s made in the microwave and is more crumbly-dense than chewy-soft. In its favour, though, this fudge can easily be vegan, dairy-free, and even gluten-free if you switch the Oreos for something devoid of The Gluten. Also, the fudge’s insane level of sweetness is quite a novelty, and rather perfect alongside a large mug of dark, dark, roiling, aromatic, black, black coffee.

On a side note, does anyone want to come be my housemate, or know of someone who might like to? This double rent thing is proving damaging to my travel-dream savings.

Oreo-Topped Peanut Butter Fudge

Makes many, many, squares. Possibly 64, but who’s counting?
Adapted from Alton Brown

170g (6oz) butter (or dairy-free spread like Nuttelex, for vegan version)
55g (2oz) coconut oil
1 cup (260g) peanut butter
1 tsp vanilla extract
450g (1 pound) pure icing sugar
5 (65g) Oreos, crushed

Grease and line a 20cm (8-inch) square tin with baking paper, extending the paper up the sides where you can.
Place the butter, coconut oil, and peanut butter in a large microwave-safe bowl and cover loosely with plastic wrap. Microwave for 2 minutes on high, then stir. Microwave again for 1-2 minutes, until all is melted and very hot and combined.
Add the vanilla and icing sugar and stir like you mean it, like you’re a crazy person trying to stir out all of your swirling emotions through your arm. The mixture will become quite hard to stir and lose its sheen*.
Spread the fudge into the pan and scatter the crushed Oreos over the top, pressing them in gently. Refrigerate until cool, about two hours, then cut into 2.5cm (1-inch) pieces and store in the fridge or freezer (my Dad loves this fudge best straight from the freezer).

* Speaking of Sheens, I love Jed Bartlet. And Toby. And Josh. And Leo. And Danny. And even Sam, now that Rob Lowe is also on Parks and Recreation. Yes. End scene.

Christmas Eve Yum Cha: Posing, Noodles, and The Blighter

Posted on January 6, 2012 by Hannah

In my family, our Christmas Eve tradition is to go out for dinner together before having lunch at my parents’ place on Christmas Day. This year, however, we changed things up, and instead went for yum cha at lunch time on Christmas Eve.

I know. We’re crazy. Next year, who knows? We might end up eating chicken nuggets whilst swinging en masse across a valley on a Flying Fox, or eating Trolli Gummi Worms in the middle of a circle of oboists.

For the time being, however, I’ll simply tell you about the yum cha.

Our Christmas Eve lunch took place at Ginseng, which is found in the Hellenic Club along with a Greek-influenced bistro and Italian Trattoria-style restaurant. Globalisation win! My brother and I arrived early, which led me to declare that there’s no better place to take photos than in the middle of a carpark on a scorching day.

I love my brother. I also miss him, because he is currently in America. The blighter.

What’s that, Whitey McWhitester?

Here is me, in front of my car. Did I tell you I bought my parents’ car a few months ago? I did. The end. This photo was taken right before I told E.TeacherLord that I was making Raspberry Whip for Christmas, and therefore right before we both started singing/screeching “I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth”.

Eventually, though, we joined the rest of our ten-person-strong family group for the eating part of lunch.

Some might say the above dish was calamari, but I maintain it was the deep-fried fingers of the witch who tried to eat Hansel and Gretel but instead got pushed into an oven herself.

Dumplings. Fillings of which I know not, quality of which I can only surmise.

You see, half of the people at the table went for yum cha, and half ordered a la carte.

My aunt, for example, ordered laksa, and very generously donated many of her “fat noodles” to me.

My grandma ordered what I think was Shantung Chicken, but I could be making that up. I’m sneaky like that, you know.

The above bowl of soup is what I received, but I’m almost certain it wasn’t what I ordered. Our waitress was either quite incompetent or simply off with the fairies, and seemed to have no idea what I was saying when I ordered the duck noodle soup with pickled cabbage. I was served a plain vegetable noodle soup, with little flavour. However, everyone else seemed to enjoy their food, and Christmas is a time of much other eating and deliciousness, so I wasn’t too upset about my order failure.

I was, however, slightly upset that I missed out on the dessert trolley. My guess is I was distracted by a) the unpleasant taste of Pepsi, which I ordered on a whim after not having had it for years, b) talking with my aunt about her upcoming trip to Laos, or c) posing for photos with my brother.

The handsome blighter.

Question Time:What are your Christmas Eve traditions?

2011 Christmas Part Three: When the Party’s Over, The Party’s Just Beginning

Posted on January 2, 2012 by Hannah

I forgot to specify, in my last Christmas post, that our Christmas lunch was attended by my parents, brother, grandparents, great aunt, uncle, aunt, younger cousin and me. All of these people are dear to my heart, and also know how to have a jolly good time.

Unbeknownst to me, my Dad had established a video camera down my end of the table. As a result, we now have a 2011 Christmas video which includes such highlights as me discoursing on sexist Tamagotchis, my brother knocking over my grandpa’s glass of Champagne, a debate about American versus Australian philanthropy in relation to levels of government support, and someone who shall not be named smacking his own posterior in front of the camera. (Clearly, he knew the camera was there.)

Sadly, the video didn’t capture the red Fortune-Telling Fish telling us that nine out of the ten people at the table were fickle and false (it must be genetic), whereas my twelve year old cousin was in love.

After lunch came presents and, while I doubt you’re interested in seeing every gift I received, I do feel I must show you the wonderful present my parents gave me:

Life is good. However, it’s incumbent on me to mention that when Mum put this heavy box on my lap after telling me to sit down and close my eyes, it smacked into my head in a distinctly non-festive manner. But still, life is good. Bruised, but good.

Oh, I do need to show you one more present. Or, at least, I need to show Laura one more present, because I made her jealous earlier this year for a similar reason. Here’s what my awesome brother got me this Christmas:

I like it even more than Finishing The Hat, because this one discusses my favourite Sondheim musicals (Into the Woods and Assassins). Hurrah!

With presents we served my newest raw vegan treats, known as either Christmas-spiced or Pain d’Epice Truffles (depending on how fancy you’re feeling). The truffles were eaten merrily, as is customary on Christmas. Sometime later our extended family departed, leaving my parents, brother and I to make our own fun in the following ways:

1. My brother and I had a jamming session, as is inevitable during any visit we have together. We played and sang through old favourites (Merry Christmas [War is Over], Flightless Bird American Mouth, Brick, Bad Moon Rising, Hurt) and songs we’ve never before played together (American Pie, Mama Who Bore Me, Everlong, Don’t Dream It’s Over, Rolling in the Deep). It was glorious.

2. I sat with Mum on the deck, languorously recapping the day’s events, then unthinkingly miaowed back at the next door neighbour’s cat. To my complete surprise, it miaowed back at me. Those of you with cats probably know this is possible, but we’re a dog family, and so the next half an hour involved my brother, mother and I having a miaowed conversation with an unseen cat whilst giggling hysterically.

3. I found a fake moustache leftover from someone’s Christmas cracker, and decided to see how I’d fare as a man.

4. While Dad watched American football after unstacking the dishwasher for the squillionth time because he’s fantastic like that, Mum, E.TeacherLord and I played Boggle. This was a very courageous move on my brother’s part, because of this. However, unfortunately for him, I am still the Boggle Master, and absolutely trounced both him and my mother. Hey, Mum! Remember how I tripled your score?

5. Last but not least on Christmas night came the camera gallivanting, of which you’ve already seen a slow-motion-dancing-glimpse. As our Christmas drew to a close, I thought I’d commemorate its loveliness with one of the most unequivocal symbols of celebration in this here world of ours.

The Heel Click.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Heel Click!

2011 Christmas Part Two: Christmas Lunch

Posted on December 29, 2011 by Hannah

Thank you for your fantastimical and not-soul-destroying responses to my cavorting video post! Just so you know, my slow-motion moves are available for birthday parties, weddings, anniversary dinners, and work shindigs. My imaginary agent tells me that my imaginary bookings line has been ringing non-stop in an imaginary way, so if you want to hire me in the near future, best get in quick.

Christmas Day this year dawned bright and sunny (no crazy hail storms here!), and I eased myself into the festive spirit with a bowl of coconut chocolate oatmeal for breakfast over an episode of The West Wing. Perfection!

I then made my way over to my parents’ house to join in with the lunch preparations. I mixed dressings, chopped veggies, muddled limes, and checked on the dessert and (new) Christmas-inspired raw vegan truffles I’d whipped up the night before.

Faster than you can sing “Dashing through the bush / In a rusty Holden ute / Kicking up the dust / Esky in the boot”, our Christmas guests arrived and Christmas was truly off and running. After many hugs and much indulging in nibblies of dips, chips, smoked salmon, and cheeses, we opened up our stockings.

Or, for we children (ages 12 to 27 inclusive), our pillowcases. Win (blurrily)!

Behold, our Christmas sides! From front to back: roasted potatoes, carrots, onion, and fennel with rosemary and garlic; beetroot, walnut, and goat’s feta salad; braised red wine cabbage; wild rice and zucchini stuffing; marinated mushroom salad; and sweet potato casserole. There was also turkey, ham, cranberry relish, gravy, and cayenne-spiced toffee pickles, except for that last one being a lie. What isn’t a lie, though, is that our entire spread was gluten-free and almost entirely dairy-free.

For the beetroot, walnut, and goat’s feta salad, roast three beetroots then chop and toss in half of a dressing made with lemon-infused olive oil, balsamic vinegar, Dijon mustard, salt and pepper. Toast around half a cup of walnuts in a pan until fragrant, then break into smaller pieces. Layer lettuce, beetroot, walnuts, and the rest of the dressing in a bowl, and then top with crumbled goat’s feta.

The marinated mushroom salad (also created by yours truly) involved whisking together lemon-infused olive oil, lemon juice, balsamic vinegar, wholegrain mustard, honey, salt and pepper, and then tossing this through 400g of button mushrooms. Let the mushrooms soak up all the delicious marinade/dressing for a couple of hours, and then toss with fresh peppery baby rocket.

My brother’s contribution was a sweet potato casserole. I’ve always wanted to try this crazypants American sweet potato concoction, but have never quite had the courage on account of the fact that IT’S DESSERT PEOPLE THERE ARE MARSHMALLOWS INVOLVED SERIOUSLY WHAT ON EARTH REALLY?

‘Course, I’m the person who ate 11 desserts in one night earlier this year, so I’m not sure why the casserole phased me so.

Anyway, E.TeacherLord roasted three large sweet potatoes, mashed them with soy milk, Nuttelex, pumpkin pie spice, and egg, then baked it in a hot oven with marshmallows added right at the end.

Girl, get your hair out of your face! Heavens, it’s like I don’t even know how to groom myself properly.

My first casserole bite caused an apoplectic mental fit as my mind tried to understand the attack of sugar. However, half an hour later I was using my fork to scoop the casserole straight from the bowl into my mouth (and being chastised by mum for doing so), so clearly something about the marshmallows appealed to my sugar-lined soul.

Hey look! It’s my brother’s Christmas plate! Wheee!

Hey look! It’s my uncle’s dessert plate! Wheee! This one couldn’t be mine, you see, because I refuse to let Christmas pudding anywhere near my person and instead went for the Raspberry Whip (recipe to come), custard, and berries.

So that was Christmas. And what have we done? Another year over…

Ooops, wrong train of thought. I’m off now to make another batch of my Christmas truffles for a party tonight, but rest assured I’ll be back soon with more Christmas shenanigans involving leaping and moustaches.

Question Time: Have you ever had a marshmallow-topped sweet potato casserole? Does it gel with your soul?

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