Riddle me this: Back when I lived in Australia, the land of brutally-hot drought-plagued summers and rarely-below-zero winters, I had almost no interest in ice cream. Yet now, barely halfway through the most horrific winter Toronto has experienced in all of my Canadian friends’ memories, I find myself eating ice cream daily. The more ridiculously-flavoured, the better.
And when it comes to ridiculous flavours? President’s Choice has me covered.
President’s Choice Cotton Candy Ice Cream
The keen-eyed amongst you might recall that this is not my first cotton candy ice cream rodeo. It is, however, my first hyperactively pink ice cream rodeo. My first hyperactively “pink cotton candy flavoured ice cream with a marshmallow ripple” rodeo, that is.
Also, this flavour sounds far prettier in French: crème glacée rose à saveur de barbe à papa avec un ruban à la guimauve crème glacée rose à saveur de barbe à papa avec un ruban à la guimauve crème glacée rose à saveur de barbe à papa avec un ruban à la guimauve crème glacée rose à saveur de barbe à papa avec un ruban à la guimauve.
I could say that forever.
The keen-eyed amongst you might also notice that I’m skirting around this ice cream’s actual taste. This is not because I didn’t like it (I did; apparently I’m five years old), but because I can’t decide whether or not it tasted like fairy floss (fine, “cotton candy”).
President’s Choice Cotton Candy Ice Cream was very sweet, and did have a flavour beyond straight sugar or vanilla. The marshmallow ripple was soft and gooey, and tasted like marshmallow fluff. But I just… the overall flavour was… I don’t know. It was stupidly moreish in a stupid way because I’m stupid. Can I leave it at that?
As an aside, at least I didn’t sprinkle salt over each spoonful this time.
President’s Choice Red Velvet Cake Ice Cream
Ah, Red Velvet Cake. The cake — and flavour — that continues to confound me. Despite several forays into the world of red velvet, I still can’t get a handle on exactly what it’s supposed to taste like.
Perplexing flavour profiles is clearly the order of the day.
Because we’re all very worldly, the French description of President’s Choice Red Velvet Cake Ice Cream is “crème glacée à la vanille avec un ruban rouge de glaçage au fromage à la crème et des morceaux de gateau red velvet”.
The red velvet cake pieces were soft, slightly chewy, and provided a nice addition to the not-overbearing sweetness of the vanilla ice cream. However, the purported red cream cheese icing ripple was all but non-existent in my carton, which made me sad. I wanted more tang and more cream cheese density.
If you’re going to promise fromage, you better deliver some darn fromage, right?
After all, we need something positive to pull us through this soul-crushing winter.