I had grand plans for how blog-productive I’d be once I moved into my current sublet. I thought I’d sit down and create a big stash of ready-to-publish drafts to call upon during future hectic moments.
It hasn’t quite worked out that way. In truth, I’ve been writing a great deal, but when I’m at my computer, the words that come pouring out swirl and crash and shudder until they coalesce into poetry, not blogposts. And I don’t have the courage to publish my poetry here. Anywhere, really.
So, instead, my failsafe: chocolate reviews, because I can take myself out of the equation when describing the heady mix of cacao beans, sugar, and cacao butter.
Trader Joe’s Mini Milk Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups
If ever a chocolate confection needed no review but for the words YES I WILL YES, it would be these Trader Joe’s Mini Milk Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups.
Would I love these more if they were made with dark chocolate and were vegan? Yes I would yes. But will my lactardation ever preclude my buying and mainlining these tiny little tip-of-my-pinky-finger-sized chocolate peanut butter cups of heaven? No it will not no.
Dear Trader Joe’s Mini Milk Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups: YES I WILL YES.
Vosges Mo’s Dark Bar: Dark Chocolate with Hickory Smoked Bacon
Well, if we’re already riding the not-vegan chocolate train, we may as well also toot the horn and pull on our invisibility cloak so as to go spy on Draco.
Wait, that’s a different train.
I want butterbeer. Now.
I tried the original Vosges Mo’s Bacon Bar back in 2007, and found myself amused by the taste of salty bacon mixed with milk chocolate. Nowadays, though, I’m somewhat bored by the whole chocolate + salt malarkey, and am even more disinterested in porky desserts, so I purchased Vosges’ new dark chocolate version with ennui.
Eh. Ennui. The chocolate was sweeter than I expected, but then again it’s only 62% cacao, so my expectations were likely off track to begin with. The strongest flavours were salt and smoke, with the bacon presenting less as meatiness than chewy salt. A few years ago, I likely would have enjoyed this more, but right now? Pass me back the bucket of mini chocolate peanut butter cups, please.
In lieu of a third chocolate review, please accept this photo of a terrifying teddy bear that I stumbled across with Amber in Lawrence one day. He brings whole new meaning to the lyrics “if you go down in the woods today / you’re sure of a big surprise…”
I’m going to go now. Not into the woods, though, unless it’s the Sondheim kind. Anyhoodle, have a wondrous day, okay? You deserve it.