If I ever get kidnapped, it will likely be because a gang of warlords put a sign like the one above next to a truck built for people trafficking, and I’ll simply have wandered straight up the ramp into the darkness asking “Do you have any Ring Pops? Or Trolli sour gummi worms? Wait, why are you chaining me up? Give me back my phone! Where’s my ridiculously overpriced artisan dark chocolate?”
In other words, I can’t resist a sign proclaiming “sweets”. It was just such a sign that lured Amber and me into Little Freshie one day (after we’d delighted in FÜD’s raw vegan wonders), a gorgeous little Kansas City café.
We had a pistachio au bon macaron which, while pleasantly sweet, did fall into the all-too-common trap of tasting more like vague almonds (you know, the kind that can never remember where they left their keys) than pistachios.
I also ordered a shrub, because how often do you get to drink a woody plant of relatively low height? Never, that’s when, because apparently a “shrub” is Little Freshie’s special soda mixed with house-infused vinegar. I opted for the blackberry lavender shrub, and found it to be an refreshing yet bizarre drink, as it was completely tart (not sweet! the sign lied!), fizzy, and gradationally pink.
All things should be gradationally pink, don’t you think?
Conveniently located just a few minutes down the road from Amber’s place resides Christopher Elbow’s chocolate store. As a chocolate blogger, it behooved me to visit, and dear golly am I glad I was so behooved.
Look ye upon Christopher Elbow’s Pecan Toffee, the simple name of which belies its mind-bogglingly-crackly-crispity-cleaving-buttery-heady-intense-sparkling-pecan-saltkissed-rich-dark-chocolate-butterscotch-more-now-please flavour.
If I could, I would happily live on nothing but this pecan toffee, raw cauliflower and zucchini mixed with vegan kimchi and nutritional yeast, Synergy Divine Grape kombucha, and a daily dose of sunshine forever. Or perhaps a month.
After that, I’d likely get bored and want to switch things up. I might replace the cauliflower and zucchini with roasted Brussels sprouts and pumpkin, and the Christopher Elbow Pecan Toffee with Christopher Elbow Fleur de Sel Turtles.
For non-Americans like me who, upon hearing the word “turtle”, think not of confectionary but the creature upon which Discworld rests, Christopher Elbow describes this treat as “perfectly roasted pecans and soft caramel encased in premium dark chocolate … [topped] off with Grey Sea Salt from France. Addictive!”
Here’s how I would describe it: aroma like fruity caramel and the scent of pralines being made in Savannah’s old-fashioned candy stores, chocolate dissolving into rich sweetness around silky firm caramel with notes of golden syrup, marshmallows, and demerara sugar, salt flakes dominant and assertive, heightening the flavour like Berthillon’s salted caramel ice cream, caramel luscious as it melts away like butterscotch fairy-floss.
But, you know, Christopher Elbow’s marketing blurb works too.
mmmm vinegar shrub. I am sure I would like that. But why call it a shrub?
YUM that toffee + turtle (that word still confuses me) look/sound SO SO good. But I would also live on your raw cauli concoction because that too sounds delicious. You have very smart taste buds.
Hmm yes, it does seem that I covered rather an eclectic mix of food this post. As for the name shrub, I know not its etymology, but I do know that it makes me think of Monty Python. And that can’t be a bad thing.
swwwwweeeeeeeet indeed
Now you know what a turtle is and will have to learn how to make them back at home.
(so jealous you got to go to Elbow’s store)
I’ll have to add “sugar thermometer” to my next birthday list.
(so jealous you can walk to Cocova in your lunch break)
Dear lord, those chocolates are all insane! Pecan toffee… i need to make that! Mmm roasted brussel sprouts are a fave of mine too.
Yes, yes you do. And the Brussels sprouts. Oh can we have roasted Brussels sprouts, please?
Yes ma’am! I will make my delicious roasted brussels with apples and onion. I’ve turned people into brussel sprout lovers with it.
Fantastic! I’m already a Brussels sprouts lover, so be prepared for me to pick out the best part and leave the apples and onions behind
I should not read your blog without handy access to a supply of chocolate. Your descriptions always give me the most insane cravings.
Oh and I would be right next to you in the warloard’s truck asking where the sherbert is.
Quite simply, one should never be without handy access to a supply of chocolate, ever. Even the thought gives me panicky feelings.
Ahahaha. I love this post! You are so silly (in a terribly good way (:). And that’s EXACTLY what I think of too when the word ‘turtle’ pops up!
Thanks Ash. I strive not to be silly in an atrocious way, so this is good. High five for Discworld!
what a sweet place! And although I’ve been living in the US for 12 years now, I still think of real turtles when people talk about the treat. Silly me. And your intro is too funny! Don’t worry Hannah, I’ll make sure to send you some more chocolate if you’re really kidnapped.
So if I’m kidnapped, you’ll find out where I am in order to send me chocolate, but you won’t rescue me? Good to know.
HAHAHAHAH I would most definitely be tricked with that sign too!
Right, gotta go eat chocolate now.
Those signs do manage to be oh-so-enticing. I’m so glad you pursued this one because those chocolate discoveries sound impressive – although, I must say, not quite as impressive as being able to drink a shrub
That sweets sign didn’t lead to the chocolates but to the macaron, but s’all good.
Oh yes, so it did. Sorry
DO WANT the pecan toffee and turtles! They look and sound so divine. Also the refreshing shrub, even if you were brought to it by a deceptive sign. (I only learnt what a shrub was in beverage terms earlier this year, incidentally.)
Oh, so it’s a real thing, not just a Little Freshie thing? I probably could have figured that out by googling
Love the look of the Pecan Toffee chocolate. Gorgeous looking.
It was incredible!
W>O>W. I’m just gonna come out with random thoughts : pecan toffee! Yes, love how you thought of ring pops – so oldskool yet still so good. I wish I could just walk around wearing it at work – sugar craving will be kept at bay all day long! LOL
We need to become Sugar Ring Pop Twins. Though did you always find that your finger ended up sticky? Worst. But worth it. Red or purple for me. Random thoughts.
Aaand now you have completely revived my desperate craving for more of that fantasmic toffee. Thanks a lot.
TRY THE ALMOND ONE AND REPORT BACK.
Ooh my kingdom for the pecan toffee (and are you pronouncing pe-KARN?
).
You look so so pretty in that pic, lovely. Happy and pretty. And hydrated. Yay
Heidi xo
Aw, thank you darling. Happiness does wonders, I think. xo
no no no Christopher Elbow should get you to write their marketing blurbs! I loved this post – made me smile – and want those chocolates – they look amazing
BTW I once worked at a place called Shrub House and was likewise disappointed at the lack of stunted greenery
Well, I am looking for a job…
Is Christopher Elbow married???
Oh wow, look at all that beautiful, beautiful toffee!
that toffee turtle looks fab. i’m loving your travels around the US
My friend, I can relate – I don’t think I can turn away from a store that says “sweets” outside
Mmm, girl look at that toffee. Girl look at that toffee. Girl look at that toffee. I work ouuut.
Couldn’t resist:) I’m seeing shrubs left and right online, but I have yet to try one. The drink that is, not the bush. I’ve already tried chewing on a few relatively low height plants. Not super tasty.
Bahahaha! Aaaah, that’s in my head now! (Actually, I’ve had the Flight of the Conchords’ Red Nose Day song in my head for days now, so a change isn’t the worst thing.)
You know what? If anyone could make something delicious out of an actual shrub, it would be you.
P.S. When you gonna visit me in Canadialand, girl?
Forget vinegary shrubs, those chocolates look fabulous.
Oh these chocolate pieces look great. Super great.
But I did hear only postive things about Christopher Elbow. Even over here in Switzerland.
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I want a blackberry lavender shrub!!!!