Where were we? Oh, yes. I last left you in Las Vegas after a midnight drive, hypothetical cannabis chocolate tasting, and a breakfast of omelettes and pumpkin cake (where one member of our party may or may not have fallen asleep on the table without even touching his food. Let this be a lesson to all young men who have just reached drinking age: Jack Daniels is not your friend).
Sam and I, however, had woken up as bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as could be, and so forewent any naps to instead enter the no-sense-of-time, smoky, shiny-shiny, cling-clang-ringing, tattoo-parlours-and-wedding-chapel-including (for all your well-thought-out needs), gaudy and cavernous Circus Circus casino.
While I found myself irresistibly drawn to the goldfish and Alice in Wonderland slots machines with their sequins and cartoon figures respectively, Sam went old school with his choice of machine.
Look ma! We won!
Well, we won a little bit. Enough to cover dinner, anyway. And, come to think of it, a pretzel before dinner too.
So much pretzel-y goodness. Hot crispy doughy salty goodness. In all the ways.
You might think that a sunset such as this would be enough to soothe my soul upon emerging from the chaos of a mid-afternoon casino gambling den, but no. No.
It was something else entirely that gave me a restorative boost that afternoon in Vegas.
My people! My people!
For dinner that night, our group congregated at Dick’s Last Resort, a restaurant whose shtick is comedic rudeness to its customers, often in the form of novelty hats upon which are scribed ingenious, yet certainly not blog-appropriate, insults.
As an Australian, I didn’t grow up eating Mac and Cheese, but I will say that Dick’s version seemed like a good’un. The barbecue beef, however, was too sweet for me.
KETCHUP. There must always be ketchup in America.
And salads comprised of iceberg lettuce, cucumbers, tomato, croutons, cheese, and ranch dressing. But hey, at least I managed to find something green in Vegas.
After dinner, we dashed back to our hotel to gussy ourselves up for a night of Las Vegas clubbing. (Big thank you to Matt’s girlfriend for lending me a dress so that I didn’t look like an Australian country bumpkin!)
Here is what I learnt during my night of clubbing at the LAX nightclub in Luxor Las Vegas:
1. Befriending a nightclub promoter earlier in the day means that, when you arrive that night, your group will get escorted past the crowd of people waiting for over an hour to get in. You will even skip the VIP line in order to go straight into the club. This will make you feel like a fancypants celebrity of awesome proportions, particularly when the staircase to the club is all dark sultry red/blue shimmering lights.
2. The whole “girls enter free and drink free” mentality of clubs in Vegas makes you feel a bit queasy, but then again that could be all the Vodka Cranberries you drank. (In truth, only two. But dear heavens they packed a [delicious] punch.)
3. That bouncer whom you thought was angry at you when you tried to sit down for a moment and Sam took your hand to help you up? He wasn’t angry; he was checking that you hadn’t been roofied. Yay Vegas bouncers!
4. Feeling safe with the people you go clubbing with is an absolute necessity.
5. Vegas can be ridiculously fun, but remember this well: no matter how much you think “enunciate! enunciate! enunciate!” to yourself whilst talking to your cab driver, he’s never going to be tricked into thinking that you haven’t just been clubbing.
6. For some people, post-clubbing mornings require In-N-Out burgers. For others, only In-N-Out’s animal-style fries (fries with cheese, grilled onions, and Thousand Island Dressing) will do.
7. But it’s perfectly okay if all your heart desires is chocolate.
Oh Vegas. I don’t know when I’m likely to return, but I will say this: we had a time.
I love Sam’s industrial piercing! I used to have one of those. But when I worked in the dorm cafeteria in college, a hairnet once got caught on one end of it and ripped my ear a little. Then it got infected and I had to take it out and let the holes close up. I was sad. You didn’t want to know any of that. Anyway…
Oh, Vegas, you slay me.
The number of times that boy yelled out “ow” while dealing with his piercings… I did like it when he put the large rainbow spikes in though
Ha! I’ve never been to Vegas… it’s not #1 on my list really. I’m just not that cool. Plus, I hate ketchup and fast food. LOL!
You looked stunning in that dress! No wonder you were ushered in for free!
Apparently there’s some fabulous vegan food in Vegas, if you have the time (and money) to find it.
Aw, thank you! Matt’s girlfriend was very kind to me.
I actually LOL’d at #5, because, just yes to that.
Also, I am jealous that you even had the oppoprtunity to see the BILLBOARD for Thunder From Down Under. Judge me if you must, but seeing them is totally on my bucket list!
Bahahah! Yeah, we breed ‘em gooooood in Australia.
Yay for Vegas! I want I want I want to get married in a casino chapel.
Only if you get married by Elvis. You have to get married by Elvis.
There’s no other way to do it, Hannah – it’s Elvis or not at all.
I’d also take someone dressed up as Laura Ingalls Wilder.
yay! for decent bouncers!
In Newie, they’d kick you out onto the street into the arms of the person who drugged you.
And now I’m even more glad I’ve never been to Newcastle.
I have never been to Vegan but I am instantly jealous of anyone who goes. So consider me jealous of you my friend.
Those fries look so dirty, but in an amazing way. In Canada we do poutine which is fries with gravy and cheese curds, but I would be willing to try this Vegas variation!
Bahaha, I love how on every Vegas post of mine, you’ve accidentally written “Vegan” instead of “Vegas”. Shows who you are, hurrah!
P.S. I’ve had vegan poutine before in Melbourne. Fun times.
You look beautiful all dressed up
Impressive and very Vegas ready! I’m glad you had a good time and survived the free drinks and late nights and Vegas-esque food (that mac and cheese makes me feel a bit queasy but as you finished on chocolate, all is right again 
).
Aw, thank you Kari! There are definitely very different perspectives of “beautiful” in Vegas though
Yeah, you’ve had a time but boy, the food certainly looks like it’s going downhill! I’ve never had fries with salad dressing and that salad looks like it’s in a time-warp from the 1970′s. Never mind, at least you be-friended a promoter and ended up with some VIP treatment and someone loaned you a stunning LBD xx
The salad did make me laugh, particularly because I’d recently been in New York and Chicago where kale salads with “superfood” ingredients were everywhere! Iceberg and croutons… good times.
How is it that even a post about so many of the things I don’t think I’ll like about Vegas still makes me want to go?! (P.S. The pre-planning planning has started, it’s almost definitely on for 2014 … except for the fact that we’ll most likely still change our minds a dozen times or so before flights are booked
)
I’d like to pretend that’s because of my writing…. but I’m sure it’s just all the bright lights and pretty colours
BOOK THE FLIGHTS ALREADY LADY MAKE IT HAPPEN.
Definitely the enthusiasm that comes through in your writing helps!
(Firstly, 2014 is far to far away for something as definite as booking flights, secondly our poor very sick cat has made us, well, too poor for booking flights just at the moment anyway
)
Oh, right. I don’t think you even could book flights that far in advance!
Definitely not online … plus, there’s a teeny tiny maybe possibility that they might end up being ’round the world’ tickets for a nice long hooray holiday and I definitely will need to be fairly organised before booking those!
Flights! Flights! Flights!
Soon! … and by soon I mean at least 12 months away, airlines don’t even have their schedules for 2014 yet
Aw I know, I’m just showing some affection:)
Cheers! (The unofficial pre-planning has definitely started)
I’ll drink to that!
I am sure that dress helped you waft in past all those queues – you surely didn’t look like a country bumpkin. The photo of mac and cheese made me laugh because it seems even the food in Las Vegas is lit by neon lights
All sounds like a great travel adventure
I’m now wanting to make myself chips with caramelised onions and 1000 island dressing.
You certainly took the Vegas-y path of Vegas! Glad to see you had fun
I was led there.
My Lord! Hannah in Vegas! Goodnessmoi. Beware of that pink dressing and glad you went clubbing. Thunder Down Under? Could you send them down to Italy please? Almighty thanks. Xxx
Could Italy handle the down under thunder? I don’t know. IT’S SO MUCH MAN.
Vegas has it all – the atmosphere of dreams and food!
Dam so much fun
Cheers
Choc Chip Uru
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you can’t do the American west without doing Vegas. Did I ever tell you my Vegas Brandy Alexander story? Do you remember the time we wanted to see Sigmund and Freud … Before one was bitten by their tiger? Only in Vegas.
Holy smokes, so it was S & F we saw?? I wasn’t sure if we saw them or a budget version! Can’t believe I’ve been to Vegas multiple times now and haven’t got married once.
Those fries! Oh my!
The packaging of the chocolate also made me think of pac man. Most excellent!
It totally does. Oh Pac Man. Good times.
Hehe ok I will admit I did chuckle when I saw the Thunder from Down Under picture and then you mentioned Dick’s Last Resort
I was tempted to call this post “Stripping, Slots and Dicks”, but decided that wouldn’t be appropriate.
With you being a cutie and Sam being a cutie, no wonder you got to skip the line.
Also, that hangover food, I could smash that.
We definitely looked just as cute the next morning….
Whooweee! It does sound like you had a time! A great time! And wow, I guess I could never go to Vegas if those were the only greens you found the entire trip (oh, wait, I could never wear that dress, either–you looked stunning–so guess I’m totally out).
You’re too kind, Ricki! Lisa told me that Vegas does have some amazing vegan places, though – apparently every restaurant in the Wynn has vegan options? I didn’t have time to explore that place, though. One day! (Or, well, I think I’d rather just return to New York for vegan deliciousness.
)
That salad looks like EVERYTHING they serve here in Geneva – it’s back to 1978 for food, baby, but with mayonnaise instead of ranch dressing.
Have just caught up with your adventures and am dying to eat everything you ate, esp those fries!
Mayonnaise is the worst kind of gloop. *shudders* But surely you at least have good fries over there?
Oooh, what a time! Glad to hear the clubbing was so fun/VIPpy/safe/riddled with nice bouncers. And what a gorgeous lady you are.
This is making me SO EXCITED for American food.
Thank you Ms Cookbook Star! Gosh, you’re going to love eating here.
Oh those shiny, glittering, tempting lights of Vegas!
My head would have hurt at all the glittering but you managed to have fun AND eat a soft, doughy pretzel. And yes – we need to support our boys…by support I mean, go and lech from a near distance
PS – you scrub up well
You look so pretty in that dress, lady! This is all kinds of hilarious. The thunder from down under?! “my people! my people!” yep, hilarious. Loved seeing your Vegas trip, I can only imagine the glittering lights & neon & colours & sounds & boobs! I’m sure there were many boobs.
Heidi xo
Just so you know, I really did yell “my people!” upon seeing that billboard, *and* I thumped my heart with my fist.
SO MANY BOOBS. Many boobs that really shouldn’t have been showcased to the world, too.
hehe Thunder from down under
In-N-Out burgers….they saved me from my meat deprived soul. They were surprisingly not that big but hella tasty!!!!
What happens in Vegas….
Indeed, they are strangely tasty. And I did enjoy watching the machine turn potatoes into fries. Magic!
FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN!!!!! Your trip just keeps getting better and better and sooner or later, it’s going to make it very difficult for me to be happy for you HAHAHA. I’m kidding. Interesting theme of a restaurant that I’d love to experience too. And we need more pictures of you at the club hahahha…
Teehee, I’ll have to post about some of my lonely and struggle moments so that you keep liking me then.
I saw the comment about your friend’s piercing, and it reminded me of the wonderful days when I had my eyebrow pierced. It became uncomfy over time, to the point where I had to remove it, but it was quite humorous trying to walk through the forest and having it get stuck on twigs and trees and plants. And of course by humorous I mean incredibly frightening.
VEGAS.
I’ve heard so many bad stories about not-earlobe-piercings of late. Too much rippage!
LOLOLOL love what you learned from clubbing in Vegas! And you look so pretty in your lacy black dress!!!!!
Aw, thank you darling!