I’ve been in Cedar City, Utah for over a week now.
As soon as I caught my breath that first weekend, I couldn’t help but let my happiness cascade into an early blogpost.
However, the day after that post went up, the Internet where I’m staying disappeared. While on the surface, the lack of constant connectivity to my Australian beloveds caused some fretfulness, deep down there has been a shimmering-quiet, deep-breath-now, swaying-in-the-breeze relief to letting go of the silver-sticky world wide web. To letting go of the need to constantly check, filter, write.
After all, how can I put into words this little pocket of time, this bounded roaming, this everything-and-nothing, this wild-me-quiet-me, this wicked-soaring-dreaming-lonely-laughing-embracing-exciting-hiding-freefalling distinct adventure?
I have within me all of the language, and yet not quite the right rhythm, to tell my time in Cedar City as true as it is in my soul.
So perhaps, for today, it is enough to speak in moments.
Moments like waking up late and walking through the gilded burning sunshine to the Utah Shakespeare Festival, where my favourite new Elizabethan friend, Andrew, is the keeper of the largest iced coffee in all the land.
Moments like hugging Andrew and chatting to the also-Elizabethan Emily, before setting myself up with my laptop and the largest iced coffee in all the land in the shadow of the Adams Theatre. After all, everyone knows that the best place to check emails and blogs is beside a theatre patterned after the original Globe Theatre.
Moments like snacking on American energy bars that are truly just candy, because even high protein counts and calcium fortification can’t hide the fact that mini peanut butter chips, caramel, and pretzels are less like eating a carrot and more like swooning over sweet manna from salty-sugary heaven.
And this one, too, though I perhaps should have known from the name Chocolate Chip Peanut Crunch that it would be quite sweet. (But that’s why I have the largest iced coffee in all the land, right?)
Moments like choosing to laugh at the fact that Utah sends forth rain every. single. time we step outside to go swimming, and then choosing to duck into The Grind Coffeehouse to sip coffee and play the storybook version of I Spy with my favourite new flamebird-haired friend, Emma.
And then sunbathing by the pool as soon as the skies clear again (even if by “sunbathing” I mean “lie down in the sun for three minutes before covering myself entirely in towels because I am a Whitey McWhitester capable of turning into a Whitey McLobster within a half hour).
Moments like knowing that, right now, all I need to do is nothing, and all I need to be is peaceful. And knowing that that’s okay.
Moments like being a VIP while seeing the incredible USF shows, and cradling the secret joy in my heart that the actor on stage right just there? He’s the one who picked me up and spun me around last weekend in Sam’s living room. And that actor playing Peter Simple in Merry Wives, the one making me laugh with his antics in the background, and also that actor playing Boo Radley in To Kill a Mockingbird whom we bought quesadillas with earlier, oh and the fellow who’ll be Laertes in Hamlet in September? We were all outside last night at 2am, playing Actor-Movie-Actor, trying to go full circle with Christopher Walken and John C. Reilly. And oh, oh, one of the actors in the oh, oh so magnificent Titus Andronicus, he’s the one who gave me that high five and said I looked lovely, and Cosette from Les Miserables gave us a ride the other day, and perhaps whiskey and rum and sambuca are actually quite a lot tastier than I had previously thought, particularly when accompanied by laughinghugslaughing.
Is this real life?
It is, it is real life, and it’s deepdarkest night and I’m snuggling in-under the covers again and it isn’t even hard to sleep, for once in my life, and then
the next morning
I wake up late and walk through the gilded burning sunshine to the Utah Shakespeare Festival, where my favourite new Elizabethan friend, Andrew, is the keeper of the largest iced coffee in all the land, and he says that my Australian voice is like heaven on toast
and I laugh and laugh.