So very many emotions.
So many goodbyes and so many squeezy-tight hugs, but also so much love and support and excitement and texts and hand-written messages that make me feel all squiggly inside. So many wonderful friends who remind me that the thrill of adventure awaits just beyond the right-now tasks and paperwork and anxiety and packing and cleaning and 3am freak-outs about the fact that I still need to buy pyjamas and swimmers and luggage to put the pyjamas and swimmers in and –
Breathe and simply enjoy a handful of chocolate, rather than scurrying around to take photos, write tasting notes, pen a review. Breathe and focus on the sweetness, crisp almonds, and tiny currants of Koko Black’s Dark Chocolate Mendiants.
Breathe instead of crying when my gospel choir wishes me farewell, breathe and be thankful for the kindred spirits I’ve met at Strange Weather, breathe for the glorious memories of Moruya, of my solo, of hushed giggling, of standing in the carpark after rehearsal talkingtalking despite the fact that it’s 10:30pm and freezingblack under the stars.
Breathe and enjoy trying to eat through the pantry and fridge, particularly if this involves nightly feasts of sweet protein pudding (vanilla Sunwarrior protein powder, coconut flour, cacao nibs, and almond milk), the incredibly amazing and deliciously addictive raw cashews and cacao nibs with coconut nectar that my Lisa brought me from Bali, enormous bowls of roasted Brussels sprouts (ten minutes in the AirFryer with thyme-infused olive oil, black salt, and panch phora), and sometimes simply a jar of almond butter, a bottle of maple syrup, a bowl, and a spoon.
Breathe because that part of cleaning up is fun. That and the Polly Pockets.
Breathe and remember that every moment, both here in the cozy stream of loved ones and familiar safety and out there in the great wide sparkling beyond, is worth savouring.
Even the moments wherein I freeze, panicked, because I still haven’t bought any pyjamas.