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  1. Heidi - Apples Under My Bed

    Hannah, you’re truly beautiful. This is a heartbreakingly beautiful post. Wanting to send you so much love right now. And steal a spoonful of undercooked filling. Yum. I want you to start writing modern day Austen-esque fiction. But not the trashy kind, of course, it’ll be all class. That sounds strange because it’s your real life you’re talking about, but you have such a way with words, it makes me float.
    Heidi xo

  2. leaf (the indolent cook)

    Oh Hannah, I’m so sorry to hear things have not been going well for you. And glad that you still find respite in the little things. I hope everything goes much better for you soon.

  3. Kari @ bite-sized thoughts

    I would like a safe tent made of blankets, please, with these brownies heated up with soy ice cream and the promise of that 8th day to catch up on all the things that can’t be caught up on in 7 days (it’s just not possible). And I would like that for both of us every week so that both of our fingernails could uncurl and your fists could un-press and tears could stop and you wouldn’t need Hermione’s Time-Turner because, as you say, all would be okay again.

    Failing that, I guess I’d settle just for the brownies and soy ice cream…

  4. Lisa

    Hannah, Heidi is right, you are a beautiful writer. The best part of sweet baking is the batter, and the chewy bits are the best of the blondie anatomy so really that pan was a tasty blessing! Wishing you all the best for your hard times… And many smiles for the happy times 🙂

  5. Johanna GGG

    Oh Hannah – sorry to hear about the painful times but am glad the blondies were unable to defeat your joie de vivre – I am sure the batter was good enough to eat without cooking so your oven was just obliging!

  6. Mike

    Hannah, I too feel for you when you are experiencing painful times. But just like the song-writer who writes beautiful music when his/her heart is broken, so your writing is even more beautiful when you are feeling blue.

  7. Emma

    I think if I ever had dozens of emails from people who cared about me, that would be enough to carry me through at least a week or two of good feelings. Or even a dozen emails.

    All of my high school friendships fell out of my life, and I only succeeded in making like one friend in college. One more in grad school. It’s not enough, you know?

    I understand your emotions. I would dance with you in your kitchen if it made you feel better, xo.

    1. Emma

      I didn’t mean to make this sound so sad sack. I guess that’s just what happens when I try to ponder deep thoughts deeply at 6 am. 🙂

  8. whisperinggums

    Lovely post Hannah … wish I could come up with the imagery you do. I bet the sun-warmed lizard people would have liked the semi-cooked brownies … but, I know, you wanted it for yourself!

  9. Christine

    I agree that you should write modern day Austen. I could read your stories hours on end. In fact, I have! (creepy? perhaps)

  10. Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table

    Sorry to hear you’re going through a tough time. You deserve 2 or 3 Pimm’s! 🙂

    Hope your week gets better.

  11. Errign

    1. You WIN for the Harry Potter reference.
    2. I love this post. Life is all about what you make it!

  12. Casey @ Insatiably Healthy

    You’re an amazing girl Hannah, we all have our days you just gotta take things one day at a time.
    and for the record. I think those blondies look even better uncooked

  13. juniakk @ mis pensamientos

    i totally know what u mean. i wish there was an 8th day in the week. i am falling behind on my google reader, emails, working out, and even sleep. hope you have a better day! hugs hannah!

  14. Claire @ Live and Love to Eat

    I love when others share their kitchen imperfections. I think I’d eat them anyway. 😉

  15. Lisa (bakebikeblog)

    🙁 Hope all is ok…or if it is not…that it will soon be ok 🙂

  16. theresa

    Hugs to you! Pimm’s cup + uncooked blondie + ice cream = pretty much my idea of a good night. I love battery, doughy things, kind of more than their fully-cooked counterparts…

  17. Three-Cookies

    These are innovative – molten lava blondies. Its tricky to get it perfectly molten like yours:)

  18. Alayna @ Thyme Bombe

    Sorry to hear that things are “not quite right.” You could always build a fort out of cushions and pillows and blankets to protect you and eat an extra big slice of undercooked blondie with much too much ice cream on top while all squirreled away in your impenetrable squish fortress. That’s what I would do.

  19. CheezyK

    Oh my goodness girl, when I read this last night I just wanted to crawl through my computer and hug you (in a non-creepy way) or better yet, send through one of my doggers to snuggle with you. I’ve done my share of ‘thumb biting’ lately and it’s so much more therapeutic than ‘curling up in a ball and thumb sucking’. Here’s to more of the good and less of the bad and to seeing the best in things in the meantime.

  20. Kath (My Funny Little Life)

    Gah, times like that … overly familiar. Not the oven calamity (because you know, I don’t bake so much), but definitely the email flood …

    Lizard company makes everything better, though. I terribly miss lizards over here.

  21. Lisa @ Blithe Moments

    I hope you are having a happy day today Hannah! If can be all a bit overwhelming and sucky some days, but it is lovely that you have friends who can make you forget it all and bring a smile to your face. Keep your chin up, it will all work out, it always does.

  22. Rach

    Such a great post! And I love that you ate them anyway! 🙂

  23. Andrew

    I’m not ashamed to admit that I read this and got got very properly teary. Teary for what you’re going through and teary for your friend and cancer and just how cruel and unfair life can be.

    This was such a moving piece (refer: tears) and so beautifully written. So much respect to you for sharing it.

    I hope that you’re feeling better.

  24. Kelly @ Foodie Fiasco

    I really want to hug you right now. You are such a beautiful person, and I hope none of this is actually happening to you.

    P.S. I will take the undercooked bars off your hands if their reminder is too painful. Eating them for you is only what a good friend would do, right? 😉

  25. Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella

    Aww no, I hope you’re feeling better *hugs*. This has been a bit of a meh week too and I think it has for a lot of people (if that makes you feel better, commiserations in numbers etc).

    I will say that “Sometimes you trip over a completely flat surface and simply cannot work out what went wrong beneath your feet” always happens to me!

  26. Jenny @ Ichigo Shortcake

    It’s not everyday (or ever really) that I read through every single word of a post, (including comments), but you’ve done it Hannah. 😀 Your words were truly moving, especially with a pianist playing ballads next to me. 😛 Hope your week gets better but even when it does, please don’t stop writing such beautiful words.

  27. Daisy@Nevertoosweet

    I’m sorry you didn’t have a good day *hugs* but doesn’t matter tomorrow is a brand new day and even though things didn’t work out and the peanut butter cherry blondies didn’t work out I still bet they are delicious 🙂 sometimes i make some really horrible desserts and even though they don’t look good they are in fact really YUMMY ~

    Hope you have a better day tomorrow!

  28. Gratitude, in the form of Raw Vegan Key Lime Pie - Wayfaring Chocolate

    […] overwhelmed. I cannot begin to tell you how much your responses to my last post mean to me. How your kindness feels like cradling a hot cup of lemongrass and ginger tea in my […]

  29. Sig

    Sometimes the things that weren’t quite right end up being the most cherished. Like the blondies – I am sure it was delicious in the end 🙂

    My heart broke at your words – not only because they contained this pain that I was just wanted to reach out through the computer screen and give you a big squishy hug, but also because you are gifted with the way of words.

    Lots and lots of squishy hugs 🙂

  30. Shannon

    Can I come to your safe tent of blankets and eat undercooked blondie dough with you? Pretty please? We can laugh and cry on repeat until we are dehydrated and our stomachs hurt. Life is so hard but you put it into words so eloquently. Hope you are doing okay my dear as you’ve been “here” for me in my low times. xoxo.

  31. Amber Shea @Almost Vegan

    You totally had me in mind when you made these, right? 😉 Well, even if not, I would’ve sat with you on the floor of your kitchen with the pan of not-quite-right blondies and two spoons and shared the whole thing while talking and laughing.

  32. Sarah

    Cancer just sucks the life out of everything. Literally!

    Wishing you happiness, hugs and lots of yummy raw coconut ballsxx

  33. Eleanor@eatinglikeahorse

    I’m so, so sorry to hear it… I wish I could say something more constructive and helpful than I’m thinking of you and have everything crossed that things start looking up for you xx

  34. Catherine

    Dear Hannah,
    Sorry to hear of this deep and wrenching pain for you and your friend. Very big hugs and warm wishes of peace and strength, recovery if possible, especially against all odds. There is beauty in pain but sometimes it just hurts too much. Xxxcat

  35. Desi@ThePalatePeacemaker

    Hannah, I can’t tell you how grateful I am that you left a comment on my little blog yesterday. If you had not, I’m not sure how much longer it would have taken me to discover yours. Of course, I do not know the specifics of whatever it is you’re going through, but rest assured: I know the horribly conflicting feeling of realizing life’s plan isn’t exactly synonymous with the one you had in mind. In fact, my own heart broke reading this eloquent post because I recognized your words as my own – as if you had taken a peek into my head, pulled out strings of my thoughts, and pasted them right on my open laptop. All I can say is I am sending love your way… And though we’ve only just met (and in cyber space, at that!), I wish I could be there to give you the most MASSIVE hug. 🙂 Your strength is an inspiration.

  36. hungryandfrozen

    Am thinking of you, Ms Hannah! Good thoughts, too. Hope it helps a tiny bit xx

  37. Agnes

    Hugs xx

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