I had such a splendiferous and spectacularity-filled weekend that there’s no way I can squeeze it into one post. Add together Christmas Eve lunch, the goodies I baked for presents, the myriad dishes we made for Christmas, the first half of Christmas Day filled with extended family, stockings, lunch, and laughter, and the second half of Christmas Day in which my immediate family and I had so much fun that I almost cried when I eventually had to drive home…
Yep. We’ve got a fair bit to get through.
If you’re anything like me, you’ve been eating a lot these past few days, and are perhaps not in the best frame of mind to enjoy poking through someone else’s Christmas menu.
You may be too exhausted from all the planning that goes into, and the energy that suffuses, Christmas Day to be able to focus on stories about yum cha, cat conversations, or one of my favourite dessert recipes.
Consequently, instead of blogging about food, I’m sacrificing myself. My dignity. Entirely. For you.
I’ve never before posted a video of myself on this blog. Much less of video of my nincompitude in action. And I didn’t plan to.
But my brother received a camera for Christmas and, at around 9pm Sunday night, he started playing with it. I became his test subject, dutifully submitting myself to the fish-eye effect, the poster effect, and (here we go) the super-slow-motion video effect.
Please keep in mind that I never, not for a second, thought I would blog this video. If I had, I would have taken off the old cardigan I’d thrown on earlier. However, I also wouldn’t have been as free in my ridiculousness, and where’s the fun in that?
The story is this: my brother told me to jump as high as I could so that he could test the super-slow-motion video effect, and I did. But then he kept filming, and so I also… kept going. As I cavorted around the kitchen, my brother and mother dissolved into hysterical laughter. You can see, at the end of the video, the moment where I myself collapse into giggles.
After watching the video in slow motion and laughing until we couldn’t breathe, I decided that this video would be my Christmas gift to you. (The movement starts 15 seconds in, if you can be patient.) I am, of course, secretly terrified that I’ll lose readers by posting this. You might think less of me; you might never return. But I hope you will.
You see, what I’ve regretted most in my life are the things I didn’t have the courage to do.
Merry Christmas!
{ 79 comments… read them below or add one }
Hahahahahahahaahahaha.
That is all.
OK, not quite, but seriously? The funniest thing I have seen in a long time
*envelops you in a great by squeezy loving hug* Thank you, Sig! I’ve been too nervous to look at the comments until now, and I can’t even express how much of a relief and delight it is to read your words here at the top! Thank you for laughing and for making me feel that posting this wasn’t the stupidest decision I’ve made in months
zszszszxzxzxccszseawsaszx v vbv bh , mbnfcftf (that’s from Sylvia’s dolly)
hilarious (I think that is what dolly said too in her own way)
yes I am exhausted and have eaten so much food over the last few days and yet I still want to know about that pink dessert – looks so creamy and pink
sdjbfsbfnmdsbfmnsdbfmnsbdnmfsbndf (that’s to Sylvia’s dolly)
Thank you Johanna! And teehee, I know, that was a bit of a lie from me too; I can always think about food, even when I’m overfull
Rest assured I’ll be telling you about the dessert, although I can’t help thinking you’re actually going to hate it!!
Cavorting slow mo in the kitchen! I can see the cause of the collapsing into giggles. I got a camera for Christmas but haven’t managed to do capture any slow mo cavortings. Actually am not sure if it does movies. Am having enough problems with normal pictures.
That is such a relief Louise, thank you! My greatest fear was of people watching this and replying with “huh? Why did you think that was amusing?”
Oooh, what camera did you get? I actually just bought the one my brother was given; it’s a simple point-and-shoot but I realised that I simply don’t have the time to teach myself how to use a dSLR right now…
My husband is a photographer so he picks the cameras and I just get used to them in time. This one is a Fuji X10. I’ve only played with it a few times. It seems to take nice sharp pictures, but isn’t as simple as my old one, and needs me to know more about photography than I currently do (not much, and I do prefer it that way really). I just checked and it does take videos, not sure about super slow mo though.
I bet you know more about photography than me! I hate making decisions about things like cameras; I’m so much happier when someone else chooses for me! Good luck with learning it
I think it needs sound effects! I like the way slo-mo also makes everything look very ’70′s at that same time. Good fun.
Thanks Carolyn! Alas, my completely lack of technical skills means that sound effects are far, far beyond me
Best video ever. You, my dear, are an ACROBAT.
Love you! Merry Xmas!
*puffs up with pride* I’m going to pretend that there was no element of the tongue-in-cheek in your comment
You know, I might even be open to giving you an encore performance of this in your own kitchen next year. Fingers crossed!
Love you too, gorgeous, and Merry Christmas! xo
Brilliant! I think you’re a ballet dancer as well as a Shakespearean genuis
I’m glad you had a lovely day Hannah…will look forward to hearing about the rest of your Christmas excitement down the track
Those ballet lessons at the age of three clearly worked some sort of magic on me
And thank you, Kari! It’s so lovely to think you might actually enjoy hearing about it
x
Merry Christmas babe! Have fun with your brother and you as a test subject
Merry Christmas to you too darling! Alas, my brother has left already for his trip to America, but I did just buy myself the same camera…
Lucky, lucky brother! Who should have stowed you in his suitcase!
I shall never forgive him for not doing so. Even though he’s letting me use his room in Melbourne as a hotel next week…
You are adorable and hilarious, I hope there’s time inbetween planning an all-truffle party when we inevitably meet, for some slow-motion dancing. If anything I think HIGHLIER of you after this (because really, I think committing to video is scary, I don’t know why but it is.)
My darling Laura, there will most certainly be time for slow-motion dancing! After all, one of the magical things about slow-motion cavorting is that, in real time, it’s not slow-motion at all
I’m thinking we could even construct an entire interpretative dance around the passion of truffle-making, particularly when we take your years of ballet training into account 
Aw, shucks!! Thank you, Laura! I must admit that your video forays did help give me the courage to post this. I jes loves your clips!
Is there some reason that you have not overlayed a track of some moody navelgaze Sigur Ros sounds with this yet? Because I think, man….that it could like, help people to attain a higher plane, man. I’m totally scared of video too though, mostly because I work very hard to disguise my southern accent and as I grow older I become worse and worse at it.
Yes, yes there is. And that reason is that I have not the faintest, foggiest, slightest inkling in any was of how I would overlay music. Me = unintentional luddite in many, many ways. Alas!
Oooh, I love Southern accents! Do eeeeeeeeet
But I completely understand, as my own voice on camera gives me the heebie-jeebies too…
A latter day Martha Graham!
Too adorable. And I agree–needs music! 
(Plus I’m curious about the pink dessert as well).
Now, if only someone would tell me *how* to put music on it! *hides luddite-esque self in shame*
Eeep! The dessert, while delicious and gluten-free and dairy-free, is sadly not vegan.
Maybe not vegan but very, very delicious.
Teehee! Love you Grandma!
P.S. So sorry I haven’t yet replied to your email; only just got back from the family drinks that Mum may have mentioned to you? Busy day today!! xoxo
Heehee you are too cute! All I have to say is you could definitely show the Double Dream Hands guy a thing or two about being graceful!
Darn tootin’! Oooh, and then I could get on The Ellen Show like he did! *dreams…..*
P.S. I love how you’re one of the people who could watch this and think “Yep. That’s Hannah all right.”
awesome. just awesome.
That was crazy. You make me feel oh-so-normal. I sat in the same room at the table for seven hours yesterday!!!
Glad to be of service, Catherine! If my insanitynincompitude can give you a sense of security in your sanity, then it’s worth it
(P.S. That sentence didn’t really make sense, did it? Oh well.)
I still love you just as much.
It looks like you’re swimming under water! Gorgeous laugh at the end.
Aw, squish! *hugs* Teehee, I see what you mean about the swimming! Must’ve been the dip in the pool in my pyjamas at Moruya that taught me those moves
Oh sweetie this is the funniest video! Made me chuckle
Merry Christmas xoxo
Leah, thank you! I’m so, so glad it gave you a giggle
Merry Christmas! I hope Sydney is treating you better xo
Very very brave indeed, but I found the video cute, made me laugh at your sillyness! **HUGS** amd yes Merry X’mas!!
Teehee, love that you admitted I’m completely silly
Big big hugs back, and Merry Christmas to you toooooo! 
Ah Hannah … you were in the groove with all the moves. You haven’t lost me! I couldn’t open the link in your blog above but saw you in full crrr-a-z-y flight at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcIrAy3GCI8
It was all the Christmas dessert fueling me on
I’m sorry the clip didn’t work for you here, but am glad you found the youtube link! 
And that I haven’t lost you…
Hahaha! Looks great in slow motion!
Teehee, thank you Sylvia!
Hahahahaha I love it!
I was so nervous your dress was going to go up just a bit too far. And being that it was slow mo, I got ready for each jump and clenched my teeth a wee bit. Because if that had been me, my dress would have definitely gone up too far:P But this is why I often wear pants.
Pants pants pants. I want to be on the Ellen Show! Or at least in attendance…
So glad you had a wonderful holiday:)
Lightbulb moment!! If I do end up visiting the States next year, we should totally try to get Ellen tickets! I almost did last time but gave up because I would’ve had to go alone, and there’s no way I could survive hours queuing up without needing a bathroom break and therefore losing my spot.
Or, you know, we could just leap around your place wearing pants. I think that would be more fun, to be honest.
Dear Hannah,
It is quite a funny video although I must say you’re a pretty good sport for your bro. I don’t think you’ll lose any readers, not me anyway
Hope you had a great Christmas!
Aw, thank you! That’s rather a big relief
Hope you had a lovely Christmas too!
I’d swear that you were swimming in clear jelly ……… and hey, if that’s what makes you happy (and, luckily for you, keeps your skirt down), then go crazy I say!
Is it delicious clear jelly? Lychee flavoured, maybe? Because then I’m all for your interpretation! Teehee, yep, there were a few risky moments with the skirt…
hahaha that was sooo hilarious!! Probably more so since it was in slow motion. I kept thinking, “oh I hope the skirt doesn’t go way up! Nahhh or she wouldn’t post it, would she?”
I love your skirt, btw! The patterns on it are pretty.
So glad you guys had a great time together, it makes me happy!
Teehee, thank you Ellie! I’m so glad you didn’t think I was a completely fool for posting this. And yes, I definitely wouldn’t have posted it if there’d been a NSFW skirt shot!
Aw, thank you for your happiness at our happiness! That’s so lovely
This is the greatest, and makes me wish I could have a mad kitchen dancing session with you.
*heel click* One day, Sarah, one day! We’ve just gotta have faith
Like Sarah B, I want a kitchen dancing session — too cute. Now, it does need a sound track!
I’d love to have a kitchen dancing session with you! Right after you teach me *how* to add music…
Ahahahaha a Nincompoop! My mum says that a lot, albeit in my face
Ahahahaha… you make me laugh little one 
And that’s yet another reason why our friendship is destiny, Angle Babe.
aaaah! Your vid reminds me of “JETSAR!” LOL
Too funny. Merry Christmas to you too!
I like to fest you have goin on there.
Darn my lack of pop culture/advertising knowledge! I have no idea what that Jetstar reference means. I’m going to pretend it’s a compliment though
Oops…JETSTAR!
I didn’t even see the typo
hahahahaha it’s like an underwater ballet! you should put it to some beautiful classical music. How graceful
and positively hilarious. Of course it made me like you even more. But I’m sure that’s no surprise from me 
Heidi xo
I suddenly feel inordinately proud of having enabled “graceful” and “positively hilarious” to co-exist in the same sentence
Oh Heidi, I’m so glad! And you know what? I totally just bought the same camera, which means slow motion cavorting could be on the agenda if I ever actually get around to booking my plane tickets for next weekend…
I love the slow motion effect! Glad to hear you had a wonderful Christmas!
PS – hello from the Philippines!
Oooh, the Philippines!! How exciting
And unfair… I want to travel tooooooo! 
Merry Christmas to you too 
The video’s a work of genius, especially from about 1m30 in! Love it and WOW – fortune telling fish – those thin red plastic ones that curl up according to your mood (apprently)?! That’s the one thing I now know would have completed my Christmas
Glad you had a good one and hurrah for nincompitude!
Ahhhhhh! You know the fortune-telling fish!! *laughs hysterically* I didn’t think anyone would know what I was talking about there. But I’m sure your Christmas was fine without the fish; it wasn’t very complimentary about us
And thank you so much for the awesome words about the video
Merry Christmas! The video is hilarious! I can now imagine a whole series of slow-motion cooking instruction videos from you. Brilliant!
PS: I love you for your peanut butter comment. Can you believe it didn’t even occur to me as an obvious addition to the pie???
Teehee! Thank you! I reckon the slow-motion cooking videos would also have to involve some dancing, as watching egg whites whip in slow motion probably wouldn’t be the most exciting thing in the world
Merry Christmas to you too! And hurrah for peanut butter lovin’! Also, you did say peanuts, so you were almost there yourself
I’m speechless…..
You miss me so bad.
I think you looked rather graceful, actually!
Then again, my own dancing skills were once compared to those of Mata Bond in Casino Royale:
And to think that you knew Mata Hari! She really was one of the greats.
Yes. Great little dancer, terrible spy.
Whereas young Mata is a terrible dancer. Might be a great little spy.
Hope you had a lovely Christmas
*laughs* Love a good quote! (I’m assuming this is from the book, not the movie?!) I’m sure you make a lovely dancer, and the best thing about slow-mo is it makes everything look so ridiculous that it doesn’t matter if you’ve got real moves or not
Christmas was lovely, thank you! Hope yours was wonderful too
Hahaha, I love it!
But where’s the sound? 
I think the sound usually comes with the vid already. Probably it’s disabled due to the slow-mo thing. For adding a sound trace, you’d need a video editing program, I think. Hm.
Anyway, I really enjoyed it! I hope you go on dancing through your life like that! (With lots of music around, though.)
Yes, it’s clearly something to do with the camera setting, because there’s another 5 second video (not in slow motion) that has the sound of my brother laughing on it. I might post that one too, in honour of your request that I keep on dancing
Love love! xo
Hannah, you are amazing! A funny and very readable blog. Reminds of Nigella Lawson whom I love watching, listening to and reading.
And your slow motion kitchen cavorting is priceless
Anita (who hardly EVER reads any blogs. FB takes up enough of my time as it is!)
Anita, thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment! You have no idea how much this means to me
Oh golly, never in my life would I have thought I could be compared to Nigella! What an honour 
Can’t wait to see you again! I could totally do a slow-mo performance in the middle of the hall just for you