In my very first class at the University of Virginia during my exchange year in 2007, we were asked to introduce ourselves by describing our spirit animal.
The answers varied. One person said that her spirit animal would be a panda because she slept a lot. Another said his would be a dolphin because he liked to swim. Someone answered with “eagle”, but I can’t remember why.
I said that my spirit animal would be a squirrel, because I always come home from the supermarket with more than enough food to last me through an entire winter.
However, I’m starting to think that my spirit animal would more likely be a bizarre squirrel-magpie hybrid, because not only do I hoard food, I’m also irresistibly drawn to anything new and shiny at the supermarket.
Case in point:
Sprinkles. Very very shiny. Very very pretty. I think I can count this Magpie-Squirrel purchase as a win, because I’ve already turned at least one person onto what she now calls “The Hannah Special”, which is my sprinkles-topped peanut butter toast creation. (English muffins work just as well as toast.)
However, sometimes my Magpie-Squirrel spirit animal leads me awry:
I think my spontaneous purchase of the new Smith’s Limited Edition Coles-only potato chips was a step backwards for both my dignity and nutritional needs. Therefore I’m going to pretend that I bought these purely to review them for you. It’s all for you, readers. My inner Magpie-Squirrel is all for you.
I began with the Smith’s Limited Edition Pizza chips, immediately ascertaining that the marketing demographic for these chips was not one into which I fit. “Hunger busting flavour for the Footy Season”? Yeah… that’s not me.
(Tangent: I wonder what flavour of chips would be created for Broadway fans? Kettle Corn with a twist of Pixie Dust? Or something classier like, say, Rocket and Parmesan Salad?)
These Smith’s Pizza chips were just bearable. They didn’t taste like pizza; they were more like an insipid version of Arnott’s Pizza Shapes. Would I buy them again? Gosh no.
The flavour I feared most was Meat Pie and Sauce because, much like the Bubblegum Ice Cream debacle, I don’t like meat pies. At all. Sometimes I think about how standard meat pies inevitably include unidentifiable pieces of gristle that crunch against your teeth, and my stomach goes kawhizzledoomflump.
Did these Smith’s Meat Pie and Sauce chips taste like a meat pie with sauce? Oh dear holy bucket, they did. They really did. And this scared me so deeply that I ate over half the bag in one sitting, because I didn’t want the chips in the house anymore and it made more sense at the time to eat them than throw them out.
Bad, bad inner Magpie-Squirrel spirit animal.
Reader… I liked them.
I know that some have found these chips to be searingly salty, but let’s not forget that I’m the person who recently ate two spoonfuls of Vegemite in a row (and only one of these accidentally).
That said, I’m not likely to buy these chips again, because I like chocolate and peanut butter better as snacks. I would, however, steal some of your Vegemite chips if you opened a shiny-crinkly packet in my vicinity.
After all, you can’t stop a Magpie-Squirrel from being its Magpie-Squirrel self.
Question Time: What would your spirit animal be? And have you tried any of these Limited Edition chips?