So, that last post was a bit of an awesome surprise for me. Whilst writing it, I was focusing solely on describing my scary Clinique counter experience and trying to remember the ingredient quantities of my green smoothie. The offhand comment I made about being of alabaster skin tone was precisely that: offhand, and yet you glorious people rose up in a chorus of “We Be Pale Too!” and “Embrace The Alabaster!”
I thought that, to prove my ever-lasting respect for you as well as my commitment to taking your advice on board, I would step up to the plate and embrace my Ms Whitey-McWhitester Paleface von Alabaster genes. And by “embrace”, I mean “show you whilst making fun of myself”.
Reasons Why You, Too, Should Embrace Being A Whitey-McWhitester Paleface von Alabaster
Exhibit A: July, 2009
You’re handy to have around in a blackout. No need for candles; just ask a Whitey-McWhitester Paleface von Alabaster to wear a singlet top and shorts and everyone will be able to read or play boardgames easily.
Exhibit B: January, 2009
In line with the basic principle of schadenfreude (woot Avenue Q!), your tanned friends will love to hang out with you because they know it makes them look more golden.
Exhibit C: May, 2009
Exhibit D: June, 2009
Exhibit E: April, 2011
Exhibit F: June, 2011
Wait. Calm. Embrace the pale. Embrace the 19th century aesthetic. Calm.
Question Time: If you were an alien, what would your alien superpower be?
P.S. Apologies for my silence in the blogosphere this weekend. I’ve prescheduled this post, as Saturday night is my gospel choir’s final concert at which I’m performing a solo, and Sunday is entirely about a friend’s wedding. See you on the other side!