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  1. Victoria (District Chocoholic)

    Power to the pale, my long lost trans-Pacific sister. I’d rather have pale skin than look like a wrinkled up prune at 35. My obsessive sunblock usage has left my 31-year-old self often being asked where I want to go to university.


  2. Evan Thomas

    I have that same jacket as your brother and thought that first picture was of you and I. It’s a little creepy.

    1. Li

      It’s even creepier that you have the same first name as Hannah’s brother!

  3. Amber Shea @Almost Vegan

    I love you for using the word Schadenfreude.

    Probably the most epic (and stark) examples of my own paleness are in this post…so I relate. <3

    Good luck at your concert (er, I guess it probably already happened, but good luck in retrospect?) and have a lovely time at the wedding. Gather cool wedding ideas for me, k? 😉

    1. Alayna @ Thyme Bombe

      Most people would look white as a ghost next to the golden and glorious Ms. Phyo. You give porcelain a good name, keep on representing we pallid folk with gusto!

      1. Amber Shea @Almost Vegan

        Haha, thanks! I think Mr. Kenney was even more tan than Ani in those photos…but that’s fine by me, I take care to stay “porcelain” on purpose!
        Let’s hear it for pale-girl solidarity 😛

  4. Alayna @ Thyme Bombe

    Hannah, maybe you didn’t know this about yourself, but you’re gorgeous. I too always look blindingly white in photographs though I promise I don’t have the same affect in real life. I’m very happy to be beyond the pale though if it means I’ll less likely be dealing with skin cancer and premature wrinkles later in life. In 20 years you will be guffawing with schadenfreude at the misfortune of those that tanned before you!

  5. Sarah

    I feel you, pale sister! 🙂 It’s funny, when my parents came to visit me in Perth from the US for the first time, they were shocked that everyone was so pale in Australia. I was like, “what do you expect? There’s more people with British, Scottish and Irish ancestry than anything else.” It was like that had never occurred to my mother. Odd. So anyway, my point is that I think there are a lot of us pale folks in Oz. Some of us are just smart enough to stay that way, rather than getting a tan!

  6. theresa

    I don’t think I’ve had pale skin ever in my life, like not even when I was a newborn. But I think your skin is just gorgeous, and I wish sometimes for porcelain like yours!

  7. Sig

    Can’t say I’ve ever had the pale problem (sorry just rubbing in the fact I have a PERMANENT TAN all year round :P), but I do feel for you for being considered out of the ‘norm’.

    You are gorgeous and remember this – if you were in India, they’d think you were the hottest woman around. There – more pale = goddamn she’s smokin’!

    Embrace the gothic-19th-century-maiden look – they do say vampires are hot right now 😛 (Kidding! Kidding! ok, don’t bite me :P)

  8. Li

    It’s a-ok, I’ve seen far whiter people! I think you have a nice skin tone 🙂 I know this girl who is so white, her skin even burns through her clothes when she’s in the sun…

  9. Kari @ bite-sized thoughts

    Ooh, good like for the concert and solo!! Very exciting 🙂 And enjoy the wedding too for that matter 🙂

    I love your photo tour through alabaster beauty. I have only one thing to add: the only time to not embrace paleness is when a camera with a flash is aiming at you and a group of non-pale people. The consequences are extreme. This is one of many reasons I now view camera flashes as evil!

  10. Catherine

    Alien superpower? Probably something entirely boring like making cash come out of the ATM whenever I put in my card. Or a house clean in five minutes. I know boring, but wow!

  11. msihua

    Oh paleface! Yellow fast hands here applauds your ability to laugh at yourself… Listen to the wind 😛

  12. Kath Lockett

    As a fellow pale face, I differ in that I’m blonde so have suffered more than my fair share of blonde jokes and, unlike your tiny hands, I have ET-length fingers that should have seen me become a famous pianist instead of an obscure, um, admin/writer/mother/chocolate inhaler.

    Alien power? To have every single gram of chocolate imbibed make me automatically smarter *and* able to zap away every single item of litter when spied with my very own alien eyes.

    Speaking of eyes – mine are snot green which, in a raw scone dough-coloured face – just make me look like Humpty Dumpty’s less-slim sister!

  13. Andrew

    Aliens get superpowers now? Humpf; aliens get all of the cool stuff.

    I’ve always dreamt that I could glide. Not fly, just glide. I’d jump off of things and then soar around, until I eventually ran out of height. I could also run and jump and, provided that there was at least a bit of a down-slope to the ground, pick up a little bit of altitude and glide for a way. Ok, so it might be a bit lame as an alien superpower, with not a whole lot of “super” involved, but it’s an ability that’s been turning up in my dreams since I was just a young lad and it’s always felt so amazing… diving only to have the air catch you, the ground zipping past below as you float along, completely carefree… *happy-daydream-sigh* 🙂

    P.S. You’re a fair-skinned beauty, dear maiden, and there sure ain’t anything wrong with that!

  14. Emma

    I’ve made sure not to make friends with overly tan people.

    Just kidding, kind of…. I just don’t know any:)

    Hope your weekend has been tops!

  15. SeattleDee

    Greetings from a seriously-older paleface. Revel in your alabaster status, you will look younger longer and annoy ever so many sunworshipping goddesses.

  16. Louise

    I have more than a bit of von alabaster going on myself- even if it was somewhat besmirched by my Australian childhood in the pre slip-slop-slap era. I must admit to giggling out loud to the notion of moths swarming!

  17. Lisa @ Blithe Moments

    I thought I was the whitest person around – till I met my boyfriend. He burns even faster than me in the sun. God help any children we may have, I fear they may be translucent!

    My alien power would be to be like a chameleon and blend into the background. Of course if the wall is white I already do this.

  18. Johanna GGG

    great lily white hilarity – you look a little goth in that top photo – in an elegant sort of way! One of my friends once used to boast that he spent all summer with no more than 5 minutes in the sunlight at a time – always amused me – much more fun that slathering yourself with coconut oil and basting like a turkey. Hope you had a great weekend – sounds busy but lots of fun!

  19. Eleanor@eatinglikeahorse

    Hilarious, love this post! I’m a full-on Whitey-McWhitester Paleface von Alabaster (the Jones side of the family) and proud, kind of… the only thing that worries me is if I get my legs out in summer and there’s the risk of blinding passing drivers…
    I love that halter-neck dress with the wooden neck; you look gorgeous 🙂

  20. Casey @ Insatiably Healthy

    The world is always a better place when you can laugh at yourself.
    If I was an alien….hell – teleporting. I choose that power everytime. Imagine, no airports or long flights 🙂

  21. Ashley

    If you were in China, they would love you 😉 Find it so weird going back to Asia and seeing skin whitening lotions everywhere!

    ANd I would love to be able to teleport. Can you imagine popping over to Vietnam for some awesome Bun Bo Hue for dinner, before making your way to Paris for some macarons for dessert?!

  22. Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella

    We always ask superpower questions. I suggested to hubby that he might be the google superhero like he could answer anything because he could look up the internet in his mind. He shot me down QUICKLY. Apparently that was a really lame idea 😛

  23. Catherine @ The Spring

    This cracked me up! I’m a tenacious tanner myself (out in sun for 5 minutes… bronzed up for the next 5 months… something to do with Russian peasant stock I think) but the point is, we must embrace what we got, regardless of the David Jones ‘beauty experts’ of this world!

    Oh, and I’m loving that green smoothie recipe! Thanks!

    Catherine @ The Spring (in Brisbane)

    p.s. such a pleasure to have stumbled across your super-fun blog!

  24. Heidi - Apples Under My Bed

    I’ve always wanted to fly. Predictable answer yet nevertheless super cool! I think it’s great that people are embracing the beauty that is Alabaster skin these days. Far better than orange. dirty. snooki poo. (I did it again… I hope that’s ok)
    Heidi xo

  25. Winston

    “WHAT THE WHAT” <— 30 Rock reference 30 Rock reference ahh!! I say that too Liz Lemon is hilarious. And I love how Jack Donaghy sometimes go, "Good GOD, Lemon!" to her hahaha… Anyway, this post cracked me up. Reasons in Exhibits A and C were my favourite hahaha… You're so "practical" to be around, Hans. For black out emergencies and matching tableware. What would we do without you?! ;p

  26. hungryandfrozen

    You are hilarious and awesome and make me feel better about my glowing self. It’s not so much the paleness anymore – I’ve quite accepted it – it’s more the reflectivity and the way that as soon as I put on blusher, sorely needed blusher to stop me looking like I’ve just been defrosted, I suddenly appear to be an extra from the Lovely Ladies number in Les Mis. Pale ladies unite!