There isn’t an easy way to describe the fear that hits when you’re trapped in a wobbly seat with a tense-looking man and woman peering intently at your face and you hear the woman exclaim in sharp horror:
“Something’s happening to her skin!”
Happening. Present continuous tense. Something dreadful is happening to your skin.
Combining this present continuous tense with the anxious looks on the faces of the two people before me, I started to imagine that my skin was bubbling and melting, or sinking in on itself, or simply and with finality falling off my face. For a long moment, my heart flickered and skittered. I looked from the man to the woman and then back again, seeking reassurance that I was okay. That I was going to be okay. Please, please, would somebody please tell me that I was going to be okay?
“I think we should try the Superbalance Number 2,” the woman said after a long and drawn-out pause. “This one’s making her look too yellow.”
And so, as I watched with unblinking deer-in-headlights eyes, the man reached over to the other side of Clinique counter and picked up a different bottle of expensive liquid.
“Yes, that’s the one,” said the woman, dabbing at my nose with a brush that almost-but-didn’t-quite-tickle. “See how her face now matches her décolletage? See? She’s got that alabaster tone. Not many people do these days.”
That, my friends, is how David Jones managed to remind me once again that I’m in many ways more suited to a 19th century pale-skinned upper class lifestyle than this 21st century world of ours with its Snookis, one night stands, and bronzed bikinied Bacardi Breezer babes that I couldn’t emulate even if I wanted to. (I don’t, for the record. Give me a beer any day.)
Also, I made another smoothie.
Mango Pineapple Green Smoothie
- 2/3 cup (110g) frozen mango
- 2/3 cup (110g) frozen pineapple
- large scoops Vanilla Sunwarrior Protein Powder
- 1 tsp vanilla
- 3 handfuls of greens (baby spinach would create a prettier colour than the Mesclun mix I used, scattered through as it was with dark purple leaves)
- 1 cup water, non-dairy milk, or milk of your choosing
- Blend everything. Wheeeee! Isn’t life fun?
Sending this through to Ricki’s Wellness Weekend again!