Setting: Smurf House
Cast: Hannah and E.TeacherLord
E.Teacherlord: Hey, Hannah! How are you going?
H: E.TeacherLord! Hiya! I’m well; exhausted from work craziness, but generally good. And you?
E: Pretty beat too. I’ve been getting to bed at 1am and getting up at 6am, trying to get this [bureaucratic paperwork for my job] done.
H: Oh, that’s no good!
[cue several minutes of chatting about our jobs]
E: So, your housemate has moved out completely by now, I hear? How is that?
H: It’s hilarious. I feel like I’m in a performance art piece. Right now, I’m sitting in the middle of a completely empty apartment on the single chair that I picked up from mum and dad’s place this afternoon, with a small desk in front of me and my notebook on top of that. There are some DVDs against the wall but, that aside, the room is completely barren and minimalistic.
It makes me giggle.
H: [cutting him off] OH MY HOLY BUCKET! I have enough space to do cartwheels! Do you think I’m still able to do a cartwheel? It’s been years…
E: There’s only one way to find out.
E: Put the phone down, and if I don’t hear your voice again within two minutes, I’ll hang up and then call for help.
[strange noises and giddy laughter]
E: Well done Ha-
H: [cutting him off] And now, a handstand!
H: I’m doing it! I’m doing a handstand! Hang on, I’m going to try to walk over to the phone on my hands…
H: I fell over.
H: Oof. I feel sick. All that ice cream I just ate has been tumbling around inside me in a rather unpleasant manner.
E: [tone of weary disappointment] Oh, Hannah. Please tell me you ate something proper tonight.
H: I did, I promise. I had a tofu and vegetable stir-fry.
H: And then a lot of really disgusting bubblegum ice cream.
H: I know! I don’t even like bubblegum flavour; I never have. I don’t know why I do these things to myself… Well, yes I do. It said it had marshmallows inside.
E: Oh, Hannah.
E: [incredulous laughter] You just shhhhhh-ed me! That’s simultaneously the most amusing and obnoxious thing anyone could do on the phone. You’re effectively cutting off our only means of communication.
Our mother would be proud to know that this went on for at least three minutes, stymied only by the fact that our escalating laughter was making it impossible to get the “shhhh-es” out.
H: At least the vampires won’t want to suck on your eyeballs tonight.
E: Well, they’ll still want to, but they’ll be foiled.
E: You shhhhh!
H: My stomach hurts!
H: You shhhh!
H: Best conversation ever.
And then we both hung up on each other.
Question Time: When was the last time you had a giggle fit, and why? Did it involve cartwheels?