Photo courtesy of I-Hua
And so, at last, we come to the last instalment of my Melbourne Reverse Dinner with I-Hua and her fiancé (CONGRATULATIONS!!). After partaking with glee in ten different desserts at Burch and Purchese and LuxBite, we three dedicated eaters made our way (or waddled our way, more like) to Veloce Restaurant Bar for our 8pm dinner reservation.
What, you think you wouldn’t still be hungry after eating ten desserts? Oh, grasshopper, how much you have to learn.
Upon arriving at Veloce, we were told that our table wasn’t ready yet but that we were more than welcome to investigate the fancypants (my word, not their’s) cars in the Dutton automotive showroom, which shares the building with Veloce.
This offer would’ve been far more thrilling were I someone who gave two hoots about cars, but I nevertheless did my best impression of someone interested in purchasing a ridiculously expensive phallic automobile.
Just as my performance was beginning to waver, our waiter called us to our table, and so my [faux] car-cred was able to remain intact.
I-Hua and her fiancé (CONGRATULATIONS!!) opted to order the Western Plain pork chorizo braised in cider and velvet mash and two fried zucchini flowers filled with manchego and red quinoa. You can see those dishes in the photo at the top of this post.
They also ordered a serving of the wagyu hand-cut empanadas, and one lone Rutherglen lamb cutlet with adobo, salsa verde and smoked almonds.
I did sneak a taste of these dishes, but ultimately decided to put on my greedypants and partake in a cheese board all by myself.
Photo courtesy of I-Hua
I chose the queso tradicional valdeon goat and cow blue, which came with pear, pan de higo (fig cake), anise bread, dried muscatels, and quince paste.
Halfway through eating this deliciousness, I realised something. Pear = sweet. Fig cake = sweet. Dried muscatels = sweet. Quince paste = sweet.
Yes. I totally ordered an 11th dessert instead of dinner.
Je ne regrette rien.
*waddle waddle*
P.S. I owe those of you who’ve been with me since the Proud Mary brunch post a conclusion to the nose story. Do you remember that, at the beginning of my night with I-Hua and her fiancé (CONGRATULATIONS!!), I received a text from my brother telling me he’d just broken Eagle’s nose?
I wish I could tell you that the reason my brother broke Eagle’s nose was that they’d both been attacked by a renegade octopus which had schloomped its way to Melbourne from the Great Australian Bight and was hankerin’ for some man juice, and that my brother had accidentally elbowed Eagle in the face whilst single-handedly fending off the evil octopus.
The real story, however, is this: my brother and his friends were playing basketball and, somehow, in both going for the ball, my brother and Eagle smashed into each other. Eagle’s nose was broken, and my brother sprained his ankle.
Somehow, I don’t think they’re likely to be drafted into the NBA anytime soon.
I think blue cheese negates the reality of dessert, but I love your thinking. It looks a fabulous cheese plate BTW.
I appreciate the generosity of your comment, Louise! I think most people consider a cheese plate a dessert, or at least a dessert alternative in the sense of not being a main
Congratulations to I-Hua and fiance! That is one good-looking cheese board.
fig cake sounds amazing!!! i want to try making my own recipe!
and i’ve never heard of quince paste. is it jam??
More solid than jam – you cook the quince and sugar down until it’s almost completely solid! So good
Congratulations I- hua and fiancé! And to you for managing to order dessert for every course.
Teehee, I love your acknowledgement of my mad dessert skillz…. particularly when that’s *not* how you brought me up
You’re all growed up now so it’s out of my hands!
But I bet you’ll happily take credit for the honourable things I do
Good one! A cheese platter usually comes after dinner:) According to nutritionists its better to eat desserts before main meals because it gets the metabolism going. So the reserve dessert dinner was actually nutritionally correct!
Bahaha, brilliant! I’ve never heard that before but I’m going to take it to heart
hehe I must say – I love the word “schloomped ”
Teehee! I just felt like that was onomatopoeically correct for the sound of an octopus chasing someone on a street
HAHAHAHA… Thanks so much Hannah you crazy loon!! I think I’m crazier though… wait til you hear my story on the proposal
Actually I’ll email it to you now 
XX.. MOVE TO MELBOURNE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aw, darling friend, your comment made me so very happy inside… almost as happy as the proposal story! I do do do do want to move to Melbourne eventually!! Hey, maybe *I* could be your wedding gift from me
Sounds like a great night! I can’t believe you went for dessert part 11 – because after my dessert extravaganza at taste melb last year all I wanted was salt – though I guess you could get some of that savoury saltiness from the cheese! However my burning question is, was it a reflection of the menu not having much to temp you that you chose the cheese board or did you really just feel like cheese because that is the appropriate way to end a dessert extravaganza?
And I can’t believe you still can’t believe the unquenchable nature of my sweet tooth
Though yes, the blue cheese was in part due to an insidious salt craving 
Hmm… I’m not sure about your question, really! I think it was that I really wasn’t hungry at this point, and everything had been so decadent already that the idea of eating a wedge of cheese all by myself seemed a fitting end to the night 
Loved this post…..ha! Oh young grasshopper…
11th dessert = sounds like a completely wonderful day to me!
Aw, thank you!! I love anyone who gets that reference
It was a super magnificent day, particularly as it started with an amazing brunch out and ended with a party into the wee hours of the morning!
Still flabbergasted at how much food you, I-hua & fiancé (CONGRATULATIONS!!) can eat in just one evening! Amazing!!
love the “waddle waddle” bit made me chuckle like crazy!!
Bahahaha! That’s right Bryan, jump on the CONGRATULATIONS!! bandwagon – we’ve gotta make sure I-Hua feels the love
Teehee, I love this comment of yours Bryan. It makes me super happy inside
Cheese boards = so totally a legitimate main meal. I love going to Silo for the breakfast cheese plate. My friends are always like “HOW CAN YOU CONSUME THIS MUCH CHEESE AT 7AM?!?!? IT MAKES ME WANT TO BARF.” but i have a cast-iron stomach and cheese is godly so whatever.
Love the look of the empanadas too! And wow…I thought the top photo was of soft polenta, not mash. I prefer my mashed potato very homemade/a lil on the chunky side (which is also how I like my women. If..uhh.. I liked women), but that still looks delicious!
TWINAGE AGAIN!! Oh, Lizzi, can you and I one day go to Silo and share the cheese plate? Please? Cheese is absolutely godly at any time of the day
Yes, I thought it was polenta at first too! And, weirdly enough, it tasted more of chorizo than potato, so my mind was boggled.
That’s okay. I’d just distract you by yelling things like “expelliarmus” and then steal bites of blue
You are a bad, bad woman! Bad, bad, bad! But also very pretty and lovely, so I guess I’ll let it slide
[btw for real if you're up for a cheese breakfast some time, just let me know when you're free! I could easily drop you at work afterwards
And i haven't had a good cheese feast/Hannah feast in quite a while 
]
Oh man, I’m always totally in up until the point you remind me that Silo is mostly just a breakfast place, and then I start feeling tired even thinking about it…
BUUUUUUT maybe! Why won’t they open for dinner? Why?
Because it’s god’s way of telling you to harden-the-BLEEP-up, for the sake of an experience and company that will be much more enjoyable than sleep :p
Ohmygosh. You’re so right. *ashamed*
I truly believe that the word fancypants should be used more often. In fact if I were to open up a shop perhaps I could call it Madame Fancypants. Would you join me?
I would. I would Lorraine. I would proofread the menus, devise ingenious peanut butter-based desserts, and stand in the front window looking puuuuurty to entice (read: scare away) all the customers. Let’s do it!
Done! It is a date Missy!
Congratulations I-Hua and fiance!
Ah, what a wonderful food-filled day! I, too, am uninterested in expensive automobiles — I would look at mine and think, “That could have been FIVE THOUSAND STEAKS D: !!!” (Or shoes or dresses, also.)
This wonderful food also makes me think about my diet. Today I ate a cinnamon streusel bagel, a plum, a yogurt, three beers, and a huge bag of salty chips that I secretly smuggled under a divey bar table. This is why my blog does not contain food.
Oh, Lauren. I might be buying my parents’ car soon, and I’m already crying inside at the thought of how many return flights to America I could do for the same amount of money. My other option is to buy another cheaper second-hand car, but I’m so terrified of cars and car dealerships that I don’t know what to do!
Oh my gosh, your food intake today was so much better than mine. Yours had FRUIT. Mine has been… I’m not going to admit it here.
Heheee, “schloomped”.
This meal looks absolutely stunning…and I totally share your disinterest in cars.
Stupid money-guzzlers. Why won’t Canberra just build an awesome subway system like New York?! I’d be happy to schloomp in a subway.
My gosh! Just seeing those empanadas reminds me of my holiday (that seems like a lifetime away!)
hehe look at you scoping out the vintage cars
Aw, it makes me happy to bring back travel memories for anyone, even if unintentionally!
Did you kick any of the cars’ tyres? Or peek in the glove boxes? My sister just got a new car, which is a diesel model and thus has a white glove in the glove box for when she fuels up! Ha!
You cheesy thing. Good ordering.
Conor, I honestly think I would’ve been arrested if I’d done that. The blurb on Veloce’s website says something about “5 million dollars” in reference to the cars. For crying out loud, think of how much cheese that would buy!
A renegade octopus – hilarious! Cheese boards rock – have you tried the cheese trolley at The Ginger Room?
No I haven’t, but it’s funny you mention that! The Ginger Room is one of the places I’m considering ordering my parents to treat me to for my belated birthday dinner. Is it good, the cheese trolley?
I’m amazed at the amount of sweet things you can fit into yourself. You’re really quite something!! Also, I didn’t know about I-Hua and her fiancé – how lovely! (CONGRATULATIONS!!)
You have so little faith in me
Wheee! I’m considering becoming a gossip blog after your tweet last night!
Oh man, that chorizo and mash looks to DIE for!!
One of the things I do miss about my cheese-eating days are cheese boards. Especially goat cheese on cheese boards. Mmmm.
Oh yes. Goat cheese and blue cheese – my favourites! The stinkier the better
Oh yay for I-Hua! When did they engagement happen!? So exciting!
All this food looks SO good (as usual!)
Hmm, maybe I should post gross-looking food sometime?
The engagement is very recent. So exciting indeed 
11 desserts? Yes, I’m fairly certain we would be best friends. Anddd that cheese board looks fabulous in general.
Woman after my own heart then?
The zuchinni flowers look scrumptious!
GRASSHOPPER! Love the cut of your job Miss Bestie. Im so hungry right now, I could go the full 10 rounds of dessert and back it up with everything you ate here too. FEED MEEEE!
Are your friends newly engaged? Hence the congrats every time you mention them?
Yes, just just just engaged
Gah, don’t talk to me about hunger! Serious chocolate cravings, and I forgot to replenish my office candy stash this week!
You sunk me on the first photo! Are those squash blossoms and is that polenta and how are those desserts? really? I LOVE squash blossoms but really consider them a savory treat.
Ah, Tammy, you misread me! Those dishes are certainly savoury, but they’re also what I-Hua ate. I had the cheese plate
This looks amazing & I have never heard of it! Beautiful pics too. I love that you’re introducing me to places in my home town. Yay for Ihua!!!!!!! I had no idea! awe…love
Heidi xo
Teehee, I think I’ve somewhat spoiled the surprise for some of her friends/fans!
First of all, I must admit that I didn’t understand half of your food desriptions. Happily, there were some words like “lamb” and “cheese” included, so I knew it was about food after all.
Second, I love your expression of “phallic automobiles”. Haaaaaaaaaaaahahaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh – *cough cough* – hhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!
YES! That totally hits the nail! The more aerodynamic (= phallic), the better, no? I don’t get it. 
Third, I think going for the cheese platter was the perfect choice after all those desserts. You know, cheese is the *ultimate* dessert because it closes the stomach (or is said to do so).
Finally, sll the best to nose and ankle. May they heal soon!
Wow, I’m learning all these scientific things about the order of food that I didn’t know. Dessert speeds up the metabolism if you eat it first, cheese closes the stomach… who knew?
Teehee, I’m glad there are certain comments that transcend language difference, my dear!
Should I admit I find those cars ugly? 
If you find them ugly, then yes!
I find them … well, not overly appealing. 
“Käse schließt den Magen” (= cheese closes the stomach) is a proverb in Germany.
I’m going to ask my dad if he knew of that proverb
I so love cheese plates, but am always too full to have them after a main meal.
And that, my friend, is why I’ve been known to order them as my main at times other than this too
Did you totally plan to pose chin on fist like that, knowing that the high-brow phallic car-admirer off in the background was doing exactly the same thing? Perhaps he was just coughing politely, as one does in fancypants automobile warehouses.
Your !CONGRATS! pals sure tucked in quite a bit more food there. Everything looks so tasty, I must waddle the fifteen feet to the fridge and find me some din din. Waddle waddle.
Wow, I wish I could take credit for that brilliant act of mimicry-mockery, but alas! I didn’t know. But maybe my subconscious did?
Waddling is the best approach to food, I think. In fact, after having just eaten half an enormous bag of Kettle chips, I’m due for some more waddling myself.
Waddle waddle.
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