Do you remember when I started my Let’s Do The Time Warp Again series and many of you clamoured for more? Well, I’m not the type of girl who ignores clamouring, and so I thought it was high time I delved back into my photo archives and Taught You Things About America again.
Hannah Is Still In The USA, West Coast-style, in 2007
Continuing on from the myriad facts I learned, and subsequently passed on to you, in my first post about the West Coast of the USA, it’s important that you become aware of the following informational tidbits:
In San Diego, it’s not uncommon for women to dress up in meat before peeling each layer off in a ritualised dance of seduction geared towards consumerism, capitalism, men, and tips. Wait, is this where Lady Gaga got her meat-dress inspiration from?
If you ever choose to use the Nanny Service in your Las Vegas hotel, it’s best to tick the box that says “I enjoy it when my child can breathe”. Wait, is this where Lady Gaga got her egg inspiration from?
(I’ve come a long way since this, as you’ll see when I post about my recent birthday dinner.)
Someone needs to teach me how to speak squirrel. And how to sweep floors.
In Charlottesville (which for those of you with a head for geography will know isn’t on the West Coast), dogs that appear cute will later stare at you with the eyes of a cold-hearted killer if you try and get into what you erroneously had assumed was a bed for humans.
This is for all of you who shuddered at my raw vegan carob biscotti recipe.
(I think this post stopped having a structured narrative quite some time ago. Oops. Let’s call this a post-modernist Time Warp, yes? No? Yes? Yesterday? Baudrillard-esque hyper-reality, anyone?)
You know what?
This post was so much better in theory.