Hannah Is Still In The USA, West Coast-style, in 2007
Continuing on from the myriad facts I learned, and subsequently passed on to you, in my first post about the West Coast of the USA, it’s important that you become aware of the following informational tidbits:
In San Diego, it’s not uncommon for women to dress up in meat before peeling each layer off in a ritualised dance of seduction geared towards consumerism, capitalism, men, and tips. Wait, is this where Lady Gaga got her meat-dress inspiration from?
If you ever choose to use the Nanny Service in your Las Vegas hotel, it’s best to tick the box that says “I enjoy it when my child can breathe”. Wait, is this where Lady Gaga got her egg inspiration from?
Look Ma! No vegetables!
(I’ve come a long way since this, as you’ll see when I post about my recent birthday dinner.)
No matter how much you plead with woodland creatures in Seattle to show you the way to the seven dwarves because you’ve got a real hankering to sweep some floors, they’ll still ignore you.
Someone needs to teach me how to speak squirrel. And how to sweep floors.
In Charlottesville (which for those of you with a head for geography will know isn’t on the West Coast), dogs that appear cute will later stare at you with the eyes of a cold-hearted killer if you try and get into what you erroneously had assumed was a bed for humans.
This is for all of you who shuddered at my raw vegan carob biscotti recipe.
And again, because I care.
(I think this post stopped having a structured narrative quite some time ago. Oops. Let’s call this a post-modernist Time Warp, yes? No? Yes? Yesterday? Baudrillard-esque hyper-reality, anyone?)
In 2007, I was scared of bathrooms.
And corridors made me furious.
Thankfully, domestic architecture now brings me nothing but joy.
You know what?
This post was so much better in theory.
Hannah out.
{ 58 comments… read them below or add one }
I want to go back to the West Coast!
And I also was in Las Vegas, 14 years ago, on the same trip, and I remember they offered shrimp cocktails and free popcorn at every casino. We were horror casino guests, though: My dad (I wasn’t allowed to even get near the machines) put a quarter dollar into one of the slot machines, and out came $20, and we took the money and went and spent it on food. 
Wooot, you beat the house!!
You’ll have to tell everyone your dad’s secret… I’d love to return to Las Vegas, but just for all the awesome Cirque shows there.
Clamor! Clamor!
You’re either supporting me or pointing out our countries’ spelling differences. I’d happy either way
I have never been to the west coast
. I like those boots.
But soon you’ll have been to Scotland! Wheeee!
Hilarious! Highlights: the squirrel and the cinnamon bun ice cream. What the?! I want. B & J’s Australia are so limited with the flavours…bring on the rest!!!
Yes yes! I want all the peanut butter Ben and Jerry’s, and the marzipan one, and all the limited editions, including the Simpsons-influenced beer and doughnut one they did for one day years ago…
hahahahahhaaa. i want that ice cream…
Don’t we all…
I beg to differ. This post rules. It contains ice cream, chocolates, foreign groceries, squirrels, and a pretty girl in a pretty dress that belongs to another pretty girl
Aw, Lizzi! I was so unsure about this post – you make me feel sunnier inside
I still have your dresses, bwahahaha!
OMG… I think I will have to do this with my recent trip too
Hopefully you get your posts up sooner than four years down the track
Though, to be fair, I didn’t have a blog in 2007!
Take 5 bars are the best candy bars ever! I once ate a Halloween sized bag over the course of an evening… surprisingly I’m not sick of them yet
They are the most awesomest of mass-market candy bars! Pretzels, peanut butter, chocolate, caramel…. swoon!
These posts are so much fun
Although I did get a bit stuck on the name of the second Ben & Jerry’s tub. Chubby hubby?? Seriously?! Oh, America, you make me laugh 
Thank you Kari! I always feel unsure about these posts
And yes, America. Oh, America. How I love your insanity.
“A Steak Place” is it just me or is there something Simpsons-esque about that?
Chubby Hubby?? (I see I’m not the only person to ask this incredulously) I don’t even understand how they can fit that many components in such a small tub. I do admire the Americans’ natural flair for covering foods in other foods though.
Name aside, the Chubby Hubby ice cream is MAGNIFICENT. If only someone in Australia would make me a lactose-free version
OK this post was very delicious but when I got to Cinnamon Buns ice cream all I saw was CINNAMON BUNS ICE CREAM!!!
I think that was the first pint I ever bought (and ate in one sitting). So goooooood!
Have to admit I lingered on this one too….. Cinnamon Buns Ice Cream…. bring it on baby
Admit it – you just like saying “buns”.
Cinnamon buns ice cream? I’ve never seen that flavour before. Chubby Hubby looks like a flavour I’d like to have. Peanut butter in ice cream? Yes, please!! I think you’ve certainly come a long way! If you didn’t mention it, I would not have know that you didn’t like vegetables then!
I really loved both of those flavours, but I also obsessed over the peanut butter ice cream with peanut butter cups flavour too. America does ice cream so well
P.S. I’m joking about the vegetables
I was a diehard veggie lover, even then. No one could come between me and my daily edamame!
Chubby Hubby is the bomb! I love B&J’s, how I miss being to go to my local shop and buy myself a pint…just a special treat, only now and then you know…;)
You’re a stronger woman than I if it was only every now and then
There’s an ‘able’ missing there somewhere…
I won’t tell if you won’t!
Cinnamon buns. Ah yes.
Cinnamon bun dough beats cookie dough so hard
Hhahaha….
The dog is so cute, though…in a vicious way…
My poodle is cuter, and not in a vicious way
Hubby ice-cream? I really love Ben and Jerry’s but really?
Also.. in case you’re wondering… Luxbite does a mean Peanut Butter and Jelly macaron.. just saying.. cos you don’t like.. so prob won’t bother letting you try one
Teehee! To be honest, that and the Kaya Toast are the macarons that I’d already decided I would “share” with you, were we to end up at Luxbite
After all, I do eat The Curious Chocolatier’s macarons when I visit her at the markets, and I ate 66 macarons in Paris over the space of 2 weeks 
Was it 66.6 macarons? How devilish of you:)
Maybe it’s best if babies don’t breathe in Las Vegas. I got really sick from air pollution the one time I was there, although it was something crazy like 117 F. I won’t attempt converting that to celllllllshiusssss, sorry.
I kind of hope all those soaps and shampoos etc., in the bathroom pic were yours. Your way of warding off frightening bathrooms, or the like?
I kept it clean, Emma. Only 66
Gosh, I think that would be over 40 celsius! Hellish. We had temperatures like that here over summer, and it was Too. Hot. To. Live. (Particularly in old, non air-conditioned apartments.)
Also, I’m sorry to disappoint, but only one basket was mine. And none of the empty beer glasses were mine, either.
That baby bubble scary whateverthehellitis looks like it belongs next to a similarly horrifying cake from Cake Wrecks.
Mind you, I’m not so great with babies.. perhaps that’s what you’re meant to do with them?
I’m pretty sure it stops them crying, at least
Oh, Cake Wrecks. I haven’t visited that site in weeks! Must check in…
I will be going to the west coast this December, so excited!!
Lucky you!!!
I so love the fact that you managed to weave Baudrillard into this. Respect.
Woot! Thank you! Only person to pick up on that
Ben & Jerry’s…oh yes! My personal fave is the New York Super Fudge Chunk. The name says it all. “Corridors made me furious” – you are hilarious! Happy birthday, Hannah!
Aw, thank you Karen!
Though don’t hate me for this… I actually didn’t love the NYSFC. Needed peanut butter! 
Kettle Chips for the win
Love the time warp!
Thank you Errign
I live 10 minutes from that restaurant in San Diego…we coulda woulda shoulda met up. Any plans to come back to san diego?
If only! I spend far too much wishing I could somehow visit/move to America
Are you serious about the meat strip club?!! Ew, what the?!! & I love the sound of BOTH those Ben & Jerry’s flavours. 2 months til I’m there, Hannah!! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Heidi xo
*wriggles on seat with excitement* Oh, Heidi! YAY! I’m so happy for you!
love the squirrels and ice cream (would be delicious with that biscotti if you can do raw and decadent together!). Is your fear of the bathroom anything to do why your toiletries are all on the floor – would they be swallowed whole by the sink if they got near it????
I’m a big fan of mixing-and-matching different “styles” of food… did I tell you about the time I mashed together tofu and pate and ate them on a toasted english muffin?
The fear of the bathroom was probably more to do with the fact that, in a year, it was never properly cleaned and one of my suitemates would throw up in the shower on a regular basis. FUN.
oh the bathroom doesn’t look that dirty – I have seen much worse ones (though I always feel you need extra cleaning after throwing up in one)
That would be because this was taken a week after we moved in, not ten months in…
Come on! Potato chips are totally a vegetable! Also, I could really go for some Chubby Hubby right now.
I’m currently eating “banana bread-flavoured pretzels”, and they feel like some sort of strange crispy fusion of Chubby Hubby and Chunky Monkey in my mind. Except not ice cream. And not at all similar to Ben and Jerry’s in any way. Hmm.
Stupid four hours’ sleep.
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