Sometimes, life feels a little bit like this:
Tell me your tasks, in order.
I must put my pyjamas in the drawer marked pyjamas.
I must take my cold bath which is good for me.
I must wear my flannel band to ward off sciatica.
I must dress behind the curtain and put on my apron.
I must make my herb tea which is tree from tannin.
And have a charcoal biscuit which is good for me.
I must dust the blinds and then I must raise them.
And before you let the sun in, mind it wipes its shoes.
– Dylan Thomas, Under Milk Wood (edited extract)
And sometimes that sometimes is now.
Seven Signs You’re a Wee Bit Exhausted (with bonus memories of past deliciousness)
1. You discover upon getting ready for bed at midnight one night that, sixteen-and-a-half hours earlier, you put your underwear on inside out.
2. You realise that during those sixteen-and-a-half hours, which included several bathroom trips, you didn’t once notice that you were wearing your underwear inside out.
3. Bathroom trips? What bathroom trips! You’re a lady! You don’t ever need to use the bathroom!
4. When you’re bolting down dinner before leaving to pick up your gorgeous friend Jenny en route to a Soweto Gospel Choir concert, you pick up a piece of roasted broccoli without the fork and manage to bite down so hard on your index finger that you gasp, feel nauseous, and subsequently find that typing this post hurty-hurt-hurts.
5. A single sentence comprised of eight words, thought of at 1am in the morning, makes you sob loudly enough that your dog comes running from another room to nuzzle your face. And then when you stop crying, you realise that your toes are like icicles.
6. Your food intake for three days running is comprised predominatelyof ginger-spiced meringues dipped in peanut butter, plain cold tofu mixed with vegemite and hot chilli sauce (the heart wants what the heart wants), roasted broccoli (see above), peanut butter on a spoon, and any crackers or biscuits you find lurking in your parents’ pantry.
7. After breathing in the exuberance, joy, and energy of the Soweto Gospel Choir, and feeling grateful to your gorgeous friend Jenny for the early birthday present of a ticket to see them, you find yourself able to look into the future and picture yourself right there in the midst of it all, still standing. Even if your finger hasn’t stopped hurting.