There are times in life when you need to listen to your intuition.
When a friend of yours offers you a piece of dried-up bark (yes, from a tree) to smoke in lieu of a cigarette in Grade Seven…
Listen to your intuition. Say no. Smoking bark does not a cool kid make.
When you’ve just brushed your teeth but nevertheless find yourself with an open jar of peanut butter in your hand…
Listen to your intuition. Grab that spoon and dig in. You can always brush your teeth again afterwards.
When you’re hanging out with a group of musicians and some of them decide to go out drinking at midnight…
Listen to your intuition. Stay back at the hotel with the musical director. Memories last.
When you’re wandering around a supermarket after work in a haze of tiredness and you spot a heavily discounted new flavour of Toblerone on the shelf…
Listen to your intuition. You don’t like insipid milk chocolate. Put the Toblerone down.
Did I listen to my intuition in these cases? No, yes, yes, no. I only wish I could say yes to every example.
Toblerone Honeycomb Crisp
“Honeycomb Crisp”?! Lies! Filthy lies, Mr Toblerone! This is just a bog-standard Toblerone with the addition of rice crisps; there is no honeycomb in sight. Yes, the rice crisps are crispy and airy, thereby providing a fun textural crunch amidst the sticky nougat fragments, but this is not the same thing as honeycomb, dear marketers. Not at all.
Moreover, the rice crisps have no taste, and they overwhelm the purported honey and almond flavours of the nougat. In other words, the rice crisps and nougat are nothing but bland.
What’s worse, the chocolate used in these Toblerone hillocks is not tasty in the slightest. You’d be forgiven for initially thinking that the chocolate is tolerably munchable. However, several bites in you will become overwhelmed by a cloying and one-note sweetness that sweeps away all cocoa notes into a bizarre sugar-frenzy marked only by vague notes of raspberry cordial. And then, to add insult to injury, a strange fruity sourness will linger in your mouth for minutes upon minutes after swallowing. You may, like I did, have to eat three spoonfuls of peanut butter to get rid of the taste.
Stupid brain. Stupid failure of intuition. Stupid Toblerone.
Thankfully, I have one thing in my arsenal that will always cheer me up:
Question Time: Have you ever failed to listen to your intuition and subsequently regretted the consequences? Do tell…