What I Learned From Eurovision… and Carrot Salad

by Hannah on May 16, 2011

Before last night, I had never watched a single skerrick of Eurovision. Even when, years ago, a university lecturer instructed my class to watch it as a corollary to our “Europe in the Modern Era” course, I didn’t bother. I know, I know. I’m such a rebel. It’s a surprise I didn’t enter a downward spiral after that and end up in rehab.

Anyway, when my friend Jenni invited me to her house for a Eurovision party, I knew it was going to be an experience. What I didn’t realise, though, was that it was also going to be a steep learning curve.

Ergo, I preset to you:

What I Learned From Eurovision 2011

1. It’s impossible to remember which singers come from which countries when you recognise no one and there are so very, very many bright-swirling-dazzling-sparkling-moving-tizzing-fizzing-popping-shazzling colours in the backdrop of each performance.

2. If you ever get stuck in a box made of glass, place your hand on each side dramatically and the last pane of glass will swiftly shatter before your intense-penetrating-brooding eyes.

3. It feels really embarrassing, deep down inside, to take self-timed photos of yourself in your Eurovision get-up because there’s no one in your house bar a twelve-year-old poodle with no interest in a photography career. It feels even more embarrassing to post the photo on your blog, but you do so because several people asked you to.

Hannah dressed up for Eurovision 20114. It’s important to be grateful to friends who loan you dresses, because this means you don’t have to step inside a Supre or an SES.

5. Jenni has a Real Wedding Dress procured from eBay in her cupboard. It’s a thing of tacky polyester-beaded-bowed-jewelled monstrous beauty.

Hannah with coconuts at Eurovision6. It is important that, for the rest of your life, you never drink anything that hasn’t first been poured into a plastic coconut.

7. If you take a batch of spiced meringue bites (beat 2 egg whites to soft peaks, gradually add 140g of caster sugar until dissolved and glossy, beat in 1/4 tsp cinnamon and 1/8 tsp each of ground ginger and cardamom, quenelle onto baking trays and then bake at 120°C for one hour before leaving to cool in oven), don’t forget to put them out at the party. Otherwise you’ll find yourself at home at 11pm eating eight meringues in a row…. dipped into sunflower seed butter.

Plastic Coconut Cocktail8. COCONUT EYES ARE WATCHING YOU.

9. The Irish Eurovision competitors were clearly hyped up on goofballs.

Plastic Coconut Cocktail10. COCONUT EYES ARE WATCHING YOU.

11. There is obviously a rule that all female Eurovision competitors must have bizarrely long legs.

Grated carrot salad12. If in doubt, make a French-style Carrot Salad for a Eurovison party. Then take photos of it at night in horrible lighting.

Grated Carrot Salad

Roughly doubled from this Dorie Greenspan recipe

  • 900g carrots, peeled and trimmed
  • 1/4 cup Dijon mustard
  • 1 1/2 tb honey (raw Manuka honey, if you’re being fancypants)
  • 100ml apple cider vinegar
  • 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
  • 1/2 bunch parsley, roughly chopped
  1. Grate the carrots in a food processor. This is ridiculously quick and fun to do. WAPOW go the carrots!
  2. Put the mustard, honey, vinegar, and olive oil in a small jug and whisk to combine. Season with salt and pepper.
  3. Toss the parsley through the carrots, then stir through the dressing just before serving. You can also add raisins and walnuts if you want. I didn’t. But you could. I didn’t. But you could.
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{ 89 comments… read them below or add one }

Alayna @ Thyme Bombe May 16, 2011 at 11:47 pm

This is hilarious. The plastic coconut cups with googly eyes are too funny! That sounds like a really fun evening.

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Hannah May 17, 2011 at 1:57 pm

Thanks Alayna! It was a fun night. And Jenni better watch out, or else I’ll be stealing her coconuts soon.

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rice kernel May 17, 2011 at 1:06 am

How fortuitous! Over the weekend, my husband kept asking me / looking online himself for a carrot salad recipe. I’ve been hardpressed to settle on one but, with your endorsement, this one is on the menu tonight! Thanks, Hannah!

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Hannah May 17, 2011 at 1:58 pm

I hope you like it! I was tempted to sip on the dressing straight ;) I might recommend the raisins and walnuts if you generally like those ingredients – I think the crunch and sweetness would play off the dressing’s acidity nicely :)

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Bianca @ Confessions of a Chocoholic May 17, 2011 at 2:39 am

Cute dress :) I was just thinking earlier that I need to eat more carrots (just more colorful veggies in general, aside from the usual greens) – I should def give this carrot salad a try!

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Hannah May 17, 2011 at 2:03 pm

Thanks on behalf of dear Lizzi for the dress! I’m a bit ambivalent about carrots – sometimes I love them, and sometimes they make me feel like hitting my head against a wall. This salad is definitely the former though :P

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Sarah B @ Bake + Bike May 17, 2011 at 3:43 am

1. Your dress is superb!
2. What is that creepy yet adorable coconut creature?
3. Was the Azerbaijani duo that took first any good? I’m impressed by their outfits.
4. I think grated carrot salad is highly underrated. Yours looks lovely and fresh!

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Hannah May 17, 2011 at 2:05 pm

1. I wish I could take credit, but it’s my friend’s dress! I added the ribbon bow though :P
2. It’s a cup! You pour the drink in, put the top back on, and then stick a straw through the hole in the top :D
3. I remember watching them, but I honestly can’t remember what they sang. See point one ;)
4. Thank you! I’ve never made one before, but I loved it :)

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Miri Leigh May 17, 2011 at 3:45 am

Funny post! And the carrots look great!

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Hannah May 17, 2011 at 2:06 pm

Thanks Miri!

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Lisa (bakebikeblog) May 17, 2011 at 8:06 am

I love the idea of a Eurovision party! I must remember that for next year!

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Hannah May 17, 2011 at 2:08 pm

Your place is party central! :P

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Shannon May 17, 2011 at 8:59 am

Ooh what a simple, yet delightful sounding carrot salad!

Is it terrible that I don’t know what Eurovision is?

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Hannah May 17, 2011 at 2:09 pm

Wowzers! I’ve never watched it, but I did know what it was! I kinda envy you your Eurovision-ignorance :D

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sophie May 17, 2011 at 9:04 am

i love that dress and COCONUT EYES !

that carrot salad looks very appetizing .

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Hannah May 17, 2011 at 2:10 pm

Thanks Sophie! It’s just a shame I have to give the dress back to my friend :P

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Lizzi May 17, 2011 at 9:05 am

Ahhhh I KNEW that dress would look bangin’ on you! So glad! It’s officially had TWO wears now… thus justifying its purchase (as far as I’m concerned) :D

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Hannah May 17, 2011 at 2:12 pm

Aw, thank you Lizzi! I could never hope to live up to your goddessness in this dress, but at least I didn’t put it to shame :) Also, guess what? We get to do a meet-up switcheroo now!

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Brent May 17, 2011 at 9:33 am

You shouldn’t be a stranger to dresses: perhaps you can pluck up the courage to foray into a Supré now and then :) Then you might have the courage to buy dome nice high heels :)

And I’m yet to see the appeal of Eurovision. I can bare to watch more than 5mins of it.

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Hannah May 17, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Supré never never never. I do, however, have some absolutely awesome high heels. Can you talk SWGC into letting me wear my super high green fabric ones to a concert? ;)

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Brent May 17, 2011 at 5:30 pm

What’s wrong with Supre?

And what do you wear green heels with??

But you’ll have to get some black or purple heels for SWGC :)

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Hannah May 17, 2011 at 9:55 pm

Orange dresses ;)

Supre? Horrendously cheap, tacky, and skanky! But that’s just my opinion ;)

Black heels I can do, but I’m not sure whether (weather?) they’d be acceptable…

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Brent May 17, 2011 at 10:11 pm

You say skanky like it’s a bad thing :-P

Black heels are fine, irregardless of how strange the weather might be. ;)

Hannah May 17, 2011 at 10:21 pm

Ooops, link is added now!

Hmm, actually, now you mention it, those heels would be too cold for winter :P

Priyanka May 17, 2011 at 9:59 am

That carrot salad looks right up my alley, bookmarked!

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Hannah May 17, 2011 at 2:30 pm

It’s so easy, too!

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Errign May 17, 2011 at 10:33 am

Yes to the coconut shaped drinks. No to the raisins, always no to the raisins.

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Hannah May 17, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Amen, sister. Nasty squishy things.

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Lauren May 17, 2011 at 1:06 pm

I hope my Scottish-Irish-English-German brothers and sisters performed admirably. We aren’t known for being the sexiest of European countries.

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Hannah May 17, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Any country you have links to is clearly the sexiest of countries, Lauren. Fact.

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Kari @ bite-sized thoughts May 17, 2011 at 4:00 pm

I’ve never watched Eurovision either…although I caught snippets of the most recent airing and was amazed by the colour and drama. If combined with coconut eyes, it might have proved too much for me :)

I very much like your dress (and boots) but am whole heartedly in favour of avoiding Supre, and preferably going one step further and, say, causing havoc outside the front of your local store so no one else can visit it either. Although with that said, perhaps that’s why there’s a security guard at the store nearest to me…maybe someone got in with that idea already. Hmm!

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Hannah May 17, 2011 at 10:23 pm

Coconut eyes do tend to be the straw that broke the camel’s back :P

Haha, I love the idea of causing a ruckus so that no one else gets sucked into the perils of Supre. One small step for man…

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hungryandfrozen May 17, 2011 at 4:06 pm

Coconut eyes! Reminds me of the desert island episode of Mighty Boosh *shiver*
Pretty pretty dress and sassy boots, eurovisiontastic combo! Much like carrots and mustard and honey!

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Hannah May 17, 2011 at 10:24 pm

Thank you Laura! The boots are brand new, so I very much appreciate your comment :D Hmm, I’ve never watched the Mighty Boosh. Clearly I’m missing out!

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Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella May 17, 2011 at 4:26 pm

Hehe I knew this would have a fashion photo because Eurovision is all about the really crazy clothes! Your dress is cute though and channels that space ship vibe that they seem to like without going overboard. I’d say you capture Eurovision perfectly!

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Hannah May 17, 2011 at 10:26 pm

Oh thanks Lorraine! However, I must say that other people at the party rocked the Eurovision look more with full body red suits, fake tans, glow sticks, sparkles…

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theresa May 17, 2011 at 4:28 pm

That looks like fun – you can tell, because the plastic coconuts are smiling. I’ve tried to watch Eurovision once, but I imagine it’s the sort of thing that is a lot more fun in a party-setting. It just doesn’t make *sense* when you try to watch it alone…

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Hannah May 17, 2011 at 10:27 pm

Oh, you call that coconut expression “smiling”? I call it “planning humanity’s imminent doom”. :P Yes, I think a party setting is absolutely necessary for Eurovision! Perhaps one day you and I could try together :D

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theresa May 19, 2011 at 3:46 pm

Look! I can see their pasted on red smiling lips! It makes them look a little strange, though, as the crack between top and bottom *also* looks like a mouth. So they are a bit alien-ish…

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Hannah May 19, 2011 at 6:28 pm

What do you mean, pasted on? Are you telling me these sentient plastic coconuts aren’t real? *confused*

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Kath Lockett May 17, 2011 at 5:26 pm

I laughed like a hyena at the plastic coconuts and so soooo want to use the word ‘shazzling’ in some form or other before the week is out!

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Hannah May 17, 2011 at 10:29 pm

Oh golly, I’m so glad someone picked that word out! I should’ve known it would be you :) I think it’s my favourite word-that-I’ve-made-up of the week :D

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whispering gums May 17, 2011 at 6:11 pm

The bow just makes the dress – for a dress-up party that is. (BTW I hope Gma Sydney doesn’t see you use “loan” as a verb. When I grew up it was only ever a noun but how things change!).

Were there any songs you liked?

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Hannah May 17, 2011 at 10:30 pm

Gah, I already took out a few more risque comments because I knew grandma would read… I can’t win!! I hope she doesn’t disown me…

Honestly, none of the songs really stuck with me! Nothing Abba-tastic in my opinion :P

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Libby May 17, 2011 at 8:16 pm

Mad fun!

I’m ashamed (okay, fine, NOT ashamed) to admit that I used to watch Eurovision ALL the time, but I didn’t get a chance to this weekend. I was bummed. No, really, I was. *sad face*

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Hannah May 17, 2011 at 10:31 pm

Aw, that sucks! That’s how I’ll feel if I don’t manage to see Mary Poppins while it’s in Australia. Though I did see it in New York…

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Margaret May 17, 2011 at 8:20 pm

I learned a lot about Eurovision from this post!
I was also reminded of the delicious carrot salad that my mum used to make for me when I was tiny! That photo brought back happy childhood memories. :)

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Hannah May 17, 2011 at 10:34 pm

Glad to be of service, Margaret! You know you can always come to me when you need anything explained ;)

Aw, I’m so glad I was able to bring back happy childhood memories! Were there any differences with your mum’s version?

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Margaret May 18, 2011 at 10:17 am

From what I remember, mum’s version was just grated carrot with grated Granny Smith apples. At that time I didn’t like carrots, but I loved Granny Smith apples and could eat a basket of them.
That was my dear mum’s attempt to get me to eat carrots and it worked a treat. :)

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Hannah May 18, 2011 at 1:56 pm

Oh golly, do you know what you have, in turn, reminded me of? When I was growing up, one of my grandma’s would make afternoon tea for me which was a grate granny smith apple mized with a spoonful of caster sugar. Oh, the sweet tangy crunchy deliciousness… I want it now!

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penny aka jeroxie May 17, 2011 at 9:54 pm

You really got into the whole Eurovision thing….. :P
I think I prefer carrot salad than Eurovision

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Hannah May 17, 2011 at 10:36 pm

In a nutshell, right? :D And me too – food beats Eurovision any day!

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Ada May 17, 2011 at 10:05 pm

Haha awesome post. Love the dress! And that carrot salad looks amazinnngggg!

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Hannah May 17, 2011 at 10:37 pm

Thank you! And it certainly was tastytown :)

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Johanna GGG May 17, 2011 at 11:35 pm

What I learned from Eurovision

1 off the shoulder gowns are the thing to wear

2 Don’t wear a dress with a fascinating skirt and a boring top if you are going to spend most of the time in it behind a lecturn

3 some people really love cheesy europop – no I mean really go crazy for it – scary stuff

I have watched it many years but you don’t really concentrate on it or that is too scary to really take it in – your friend in the middle of the photo with his hair on end definitely has the eurovision look – you needed an off the shoulder dress (see my point 1 but full marks for glitter and flesh) Shame you missed the Terry Wogan years – his commentary was priceless albeit quite tongue in cheek

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Hannah May 18, 2011 at 1:59 pm

I shall crawl back into my Eurovision-ignorant hole as punishment for my wrong costume choices, Johanna! I feel duly chastised ;)

I’ve heard about the Terry Wogan fellow – sounds like he would have made it more entertaining!

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Kath (My Funny Little Life) May 17, 2011 at 11:44 pm

What a wonderful salad! Totally fits my taste! :D And I WANT A COCONUT MUG LIKE THAT TO WATCH (over?) ME! :D

Thank you for sharing on Facebook, you’re a real friend! :)

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Hannah May 18, 2011 at 2:01 pm

You’re more than welcome, Kath! I’m sorry I haven’t replied to your email yet; I’m a bit swamped. I enjoyed the survey, actually! :)

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Kath (My Funny Little Life) May 18, 2011 at 8:08 pm

No need to be sorry! You’ve helped me so much! :D

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Hannah May 18, 2011 at 10:54 pm

Hurrah!! :)

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Alisa Fleming May 18, 2011 at 1:04 am

You’re such a (coco)nut!

Love that salad, must make!

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Hannah May 18, 2011 at 2:02 pm

I shall take that as a compliment ;)

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Anna Johnston May 18, 2011 at 7:19 am

Hilarious :) Eurovision parties, gotta go to one of those – until you mentioned themeing a party around it … well…. I just didn’t see the sense of Eurovision at all…, but a part—Aaeiii, now that’s another thing.

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Hannah May 18, 2011 at 2:02 pm

Amen, sister. Eurovision on its own? Bah, humbug. Eurovision party? Yes indeedy! :D

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Rach May 18, 2011 at 10:24 am

Love the dress! And girl, I know what you mean about using self timers on cameras, haha! Also love the plastic coconut!

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Hannah May 18, 2011 at 2:05 pm

It’s worse when it’s your dad’s camera and you really don’t know how to use it! :P

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Amber Shea @Almost Vegan May 18, 2011 at 12:05 pm

WooHOO! Now that’s a smexxxy outfit. Are those fishnets?
I <3 coconuts, real OR plastic.

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Hannah May 18, 2011 at 2:06 pm

Absolutely! Every girl needs at least a couple pairs of fishnets, right? ;)

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Adrian in Food Rehab May 18, 2011 at 2:17 pm

LOL! Check out the plastic coconuts. I will keep your advice in mind.

I missed out on Eurovision this year. I might youtube it now….hopefully no one sees me at work!

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Hannah May 18, 2011 at 10:55 pm

I think you probably need to be more worried about people *hearing* you watch Eurovision at work :P

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Monique May 18, 2011 at 3:25 pm

haha this looks so fun!! :) Since I’ve begun watching French news broadcasts again, I get the Eurovision reference! Yes, I love not feeling lost :) How’d the French opera singer do??? I really should look this up!

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Hannah May 18, 2011 at 10:56 pm

He was fascinating to watch, actually! You should youtube him. He needed to wash his hair though…

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Heidi - Apples Under My Bed May 18, 2011 at 3:36 pm

hahaha I’ve never watched eurovision either. Sounds like a hoot :) nice salad too!
Heidi co

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Hannah May 18, 2011 at 10:58 pm

Thanks Heidi! To be honest, I don’t think you’ve missed all that much… :P

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Louise May 19, 2011 at 11:10 am

I used to love catching a bit of Eurovision, that was until last year, when I accidentally created a 9 year old Eurovision fanatic. He saw a little bit of the final before he went to bed last year, and was in. We had to tape the rest of the final. He watched the scoring over and over again, made up games of it, and in the last year has become Australia’s greatest living Eurovision expert! Every car trip I am now stuck in a car with a Eurovision CD and yet another scoring game. I kid you not. So….. this year- I had to watch all of both semifinals, scoring each act in our own scoring system, and then the final. OMG. We didn’t dress up and do a party, (although I did do a cross-channel biscuit challenge with a packet of Hobnobs and those French schoolboy biscuits) but for next year I’ve discovered Eurovision drinking games- and I can certainly see the benefits here

http://www.webtender.com/handbook/games/eurovision-song-contest.game

I’m in. Would have been off my chops by the time Croatia finished. BTW for those that didn’t watch all 3 nights, Azerbijan sucked. I think the whole thing is rigged and there is a genuine conspiracy to get us to know that the captial of Azerbijan is Baku.

This year the skirts were ridiculously short. And there were far too many ball gown versions of mullet skirts.

Oh and raw carrot is not a food. Doesn’t matter what dressing you put on it. Your dressing sounds delicious BTW, and would be nice on some blanched carrots I’m sure.

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Hannah May 19, 2011 at 2:39 pm

I must admit, I’m not a fan of the mullet skirt. I’m also awed and impressed by your son’s dedication. I don’t think I had the mental capacity for such commitmet when I was nine :P

Oooh, I’ll definitely be parting ways with you in the raw/blanched carrot debate. I used to abhor cooked carrot, to the extent that I loved my grandma very, very much for the fact that whenever we had dinner at her place, she’d keep a little baggie of raw carrot in the fridge just for me and my plate :)

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Susan May 19, 2011 at 11:55 am

Eurovision is the best, although I accidentally saw who the winner was on the morning of the finals which I was very annoyed about. I love all the voting process which goes on for ages, although they used to count down all of the scores from 1 to 12, but now they give you 1 – 7 which makes it go quicker.

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Hannah May 19, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Wait, what? Do the viewers judge the winners of Eurovision? I just assumed there were judges involved!

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Maria @ Scandifoodie May 20, 2011 at 6:02 pm

Heheh since moving to Australia I’ve had a pleasure of introducing many Aussies to Eurovision! This year I didn’t watch it at all, but my partner was glued to the tv and was really disappointed I missed it!

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Hannah May 23, 2011 at 7:19 pm

Aw, that’s so sweet! Next time you should record it and watch together :)

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Conor @ Hold the Beef May 23, 2011 at 1:30 pm

WE HAVE PLASTIC COCONUT CUPS TOO!!! But we didn’t put eyes on them. We are stupid.

I was so horribly disappointed by the Eurovision result. Azerbaijan? Really? Super lame. You think I would stop being surprised by super lame songs winning it, really.

I have also decided that I am going to become a Azerbaijani distributor for my newest OMG discovery – the Smooth Groove. There was way too much distressingly tight lycra wearage on backup dancers and I’m sure they’d be flocking to purchase one of these horrors for next year!

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Hannah May 23, 2011 at 7:39 pm

Not stupid, Conor, just misguided. I hereby order you to buy googly eyes, cut lips out of magazines, pull out your glue-gun, and call the prettiest resulting coconut-head “Hannah” ;)

Ah, what would life be if we stopped being surprised by it? Bring on the super lame songs!

And now I must google “Smooth Groove”…

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Agnes May 24, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Hot outfit, love! It goes perfectly with the coconut. ;)

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Hannah May 24, 2011 at 1:58 pm

Thanks BFF! Plus, as a bonus, no mention of underwear! ;)

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Agnes May 24, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Yknow that could be taken to mean that you didn’t have any on……. so remember we’re not talking about your underwear on your blog anymore….

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Hannah May 24, 2011 at 2:51 pm

Oh darnit. I can’t get this right. :P

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The Hook May 24, 2011 at 10:34 pm

Great title!

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Catherine McLean October 5, 2011 at 6:30 pm

The world needs more coconuts with googly eyes.

I have to admit, I have a twisted love for Eurovision. We have a Eurovision party every year, and so obsessed are we (well, me) that we tape the semi-finals so that we can play our guests any gems that didn’t get through. So often the truly tacky and silly acts get culled early, and tacky and silly is the whole point of Eurovision.

Here’s my Eurovision party post from this year. I think Ken would like those coconuts…

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Hannah October 5, 2011 at 9:32 pm

While I can’t personally understand the appeal of Eurovision itself, I definitely understand the fun of getting into it with friends and making a party of the event :)

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