So what say you to some retrospective story-telling? My idea is for a series entitled “Let’s Do The Time Warp Again”, although I must apologise to my workmates for the fact that I growled/sang “it’s just a jump to the left” about forty seven hundred times in my office today. Anyhoodle, let me know if you’d be interested in more posts like this!
Hannah Goes To The USA, West Coast-style, in 2007
Halfway through 2007, I left Australia’s fair shores to embark on a year-long student exchange odyssey at UVA. First, though, I spent a month travelling around the West Coast.
In the land of the West Coast, I spotted many magical things…
For example, did you know that American boys in LA can fly? True story. This fellow zoomed right over my head and kept going until he landed in one of the spinning teacups in Disneyland. No, really. True story.
I wouldn’t lie to you.
In Seattle, pigs like to creep up on you while the Jaws music plays in the background. It’s scary.
Okay, that wasn’t a true story. But the flying boy story was, cross my heart.
In the spectacular land of the American West Coast, a packet of Sweet Maui Onion flavoured chips, a packet of Wasabi and Soy flavoured almonds, a faux-healthy vegan Maple Nut Clif Bar, and an even more faux-healthy Peanut Butter Cookie Luna Bar (with added calcium!) counts as a balanced breakfast when eaten in a hostel dormroom.
Those of you doubting my ability to eat all of these for breakfast in one sitting don’t know me very well.
On the left side of America (if you’re looking at the country from below like we do in Australia [me knows geography good]), there is a big hole in the ground. Some people, like me, think this hole is a pretty big deal. Others, like my tour company, clearly do not, because they allow you only one hour at the Grand Canyon but force you to spend six hours at factory outlets before and after visiting this hole in the ground.
Luckily for anyone who has ever had to spend from 6am to 1opm in a smelly bus on a “Grand Canyon” tour – a bus which breaks down for three hours in the middle of nowhere and subsequently plays Forrest Gump twice in a row – the famous burger chain In-N-Out stays open until late. For all your non-vegan, non-raw needs.
On the West Coast, burger buns magically transform into lettuce leaves. Not only does this leave you feeling hungry at 11pm, but you end up with strange sauces on your new factory-outlet skirt because lettuce is not a good drippy-drippy catcher.
Do you like to rumba? I’d like to rumba. The streets of Seattle always like to rumba.
However, if you rumba too enthusiastically, the lions from the MGM casino in Las Vegas will come and lick you to death. True story. (How big is my nose right now?)
Better than death-by-lion-licking is your typical American night time snack (with bonus clothes in the background! Remember, I took these photos with no intention to ever show anyone). Apparently 2007 Hannah ate more chips than chocolate. Silly 2007 Hannah.
There’s only one more thing you desperately need to know about West Coast Americans.
They have super weird toilets.
{ 59 comments… read them below or add one }
Already I am loving this series – have thought of dragging out my old travel photos for my blog one day if I ever have some spare time – though I didn’t take photos of food like you did and now I wish I did but with point and click cameras while travelling every photo was special and so the food had to take a back seat.
By the way I thought that was a flying pig and I love the grand canyon photo – glad you got one to look at seeing you didn’t get to spend much time there – have been on a few of these whistle stop tours myself!
Thank you Johanna! Hurrah for votes of confidence! I’d love to see your old travel photos, regardless of any dearth of food. As you’ll see, my food photography was very, very bad pre-blog… even more so than now! ALso, I thought it was a flying pig at first too
Oh it just kills me that you were at UVA. That’s just 90 minutes down the road from me. *sigh*
P.S. In whose universe is the typical American night time snack crawtators (wtf?) and clif bars? Not sure what Americans *you* were hanging out with but in my world, the typical American night time snack is Ben & Jerry’s and beer.
What a shame I wasn’t blogging back then! I would’ve loved to visit you in person
P.S. Don’t worry, there was many a pint of Ben & Jerry’s consumed in my dormroom in one sitting too…
P.S. How’d you get a picture of my bathroom??!
As you said… 90 minutes away
Oh yes! Your nose must be really big by now. I love this time wrap thing, and would welcome that any time
This actually brought back memories of my trip to the States. I remember packing my backpack with lots of cliff bars and luna bars. Aren’t they awesome? Unlike Australia, the energy bars in US are way cheaper, and yummier!
How rude! Calling me big-nosed like that!
I do love and miss Clif Bars and Luna Bars. Oh, the Crunchy Peanut Butter and Banana Bread Clif Bars! Be still my heart! (Actually, I think you can get them on iHerb…?)
And then a step to the riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT.
This introduction to your West Coast USA is so much different from what I remember…. I remember it looking like this the whole time.
…..?…..
Very odd indeed. My experiences looked more like Broadway musicals
lol I love that first shot! I’d also love to go to In-n-Out. And don’t food stains on your clothes just mean you really really enjoyed your meal? I always do. lol.
Oh, Helen. That was back in the days when my camera was brand-new, and not severely afflicted by Blurry Disease…
Personally, I’ve always found food down the cleavage the sign of a good meal rather than stains, but each to their own
Oh my gosh, the toilet!
But my favorite pic is the rumba loving street. 
I love the idea of a time-travel series! You seem to have travelled a lot!
I’ve been to the west coast of the U.S. with my parents 14 (oh yeah …) years ago, and we visited a lot of National Parks. I loved it! And I want to go back with more time for a shorter route, and go hiking in the wonderful Yosemite National Park. I also want to go to San Francisco again, I loved it so much.
We also visited the Grand Canyon, but we had a snow storm and -150 °C (in April) and could only look like 5 meters deep inside. Then, suddenly (when we were almost frozen already because we had packed for a spring time vacation), the clouds cleared up and we could look down into the canyon to its bottom. It was amazing, I’ll never forget that moment.
You Americans clearly have strange bathroom habits
Happily, I think I have managed to squeeze in a fair amount of travel in recent years, but it’s never enough! My heart aches to travel more, so this series will be beneficial for me too
I hate that I went to all those National Parks when I was too young to remember – one day, I’ll return and have someone to do road-trips with, and I’ll visit places like Yosemite again 
Holy moly, -150C? Wouldn’t that mean, well, death?!?!
Oh, In N Out, how I miss you.
And OMG, my bathroom looked JUST like that growing up in Oregon.
Ah, so that’s why you moved to Paris? The toilet infrastructure?
How fun is this! Great shot of that lion, by the way! I’ve heard of in-and-out burgers, but never been there. Looks yummy, though! And the rumba on the street diagram… brilliant! We need more of those!
There were similar street diagrams all over this area of Seattle, for different dances. I loved it!
Awww, come back to the West Coast! I’ll take you to In-N-Out and Disneyland again- they’re both super close to me! There’s also plenty of canned pumpkin and froyo here
Kate, you have no idea how much I wish I could take you up on that right now!! My poor, poor travel-loving heart…
Hannah, I come from a country that can gross you out when it comes to toilets this one in W.America is definitely in the top 10.
*laughs* Priyanka, I’ll have to trust you on that one, I think! Japan, however, has to top the list of toilet awesomeness
Yes, more, please! I concur that it would be a terrible waste to abandon your photos to a lonely computer fate. And I also just want to see more of America
I have been to Seattle and New York city, but no where else in the US, so with enough of these posts you may motivate me to jump on a plane and go take advantage of our amazing exchange rate. Although not if they all involve grungy toilets
Thank you Kari! I’m so excited to be getting enthusiasm about this series – I shall definitely do more now!
Also, if you do decide to run away to America, please take me with you? I miss my friends, and the food, over there so much!
P.S. At least you don’t have to pay for the bathroom in America like you do in Europe!
What a great flash back! I still have never tried In-N-Out burger… one day!
I guess it’s not the easiest thing, seeing as In-N-Out only exists in three states! Still, I’d take Whole Foods over it any day
Ah, you missed out! In-N-Out has great buns…it’s makes up half the package!
But yes, I love your time warp posts…It’s fun to see what you did/was like 4 years ago.
Thanks Sophia! I’ll definitely keep up the time warp posts I think. I’m just trying to build up the courage to post photos of myself four years ago…
P.S. Yes, I had a massive fail in my burger ordering.
Oh Hannah, so much to love here.
1) Yes I want more of these posts. In fact I think I should do the same. I have many pre-blog travel and food pics, mostly of Europe.
2) I love the title, and yes I am now also grunting “it’s just a jump to the left”
3) In-&-Out do lettuce buns?? Is this mandatory or does one have the option of a bun? Intruiging…
4) Your snackage food looks great! I’m so keen to try cliff & luna bars
5) darn it, I clearly don’t know you very well. I did indeed doubt your ability to eat all that. You’re only small. forgive my assumption. let’s be friends.
Heidi xo
Heidi, so far I’ve only read your opening sentence, but thank you!! Smiling! And now…
1. Yes yes! We should both do a Time Warp series! I’d love to see more of your travel shots.
2. Put your hands on your hips…
3. It’s part of the In-N-Out “secret menu”. Google it
4. They’re so tasty! If you ever get a chance to try/order some, let me know and I’ll tell you my recommended flavours
5. I forgive you. My stomach is rather like a Tardis, and many people don’t realise this at first. I am the SNACKING QUEEN.
xoxo
I’d love more of these stories … even if I know most of them this new spin will make them fresh all over again!
So… hard… to… resist… senility… and… forgetfulness… joke….
P.S. Love you!
You’re saved by the”love you” missy!
Twisted around my little finger
I definitely welcome the retrospective blogging, speshly when it comes with references to the Time Warp. I also appreciate your tall stories about the magical land of America, I wish I was there long enough to gather more chocolate bars and to try things like the In and Out Burger (and also IHoP!)
Alas, I have no IHoP tales to regale you with! Personally I’m not a Pancake Person, but I do regret never visiting The Cheesecake Factory with its behemoth peanut butter cheesecake sugar cream cheese glorious creations… but I digress.
I’m so delighted to hear you’d be interested in more of this! I do love informing people about the realities of magical land of America
(and can’t wait to hear more from your end, too!)
Oh me LOVES it. I have been cruising through my photos a bunch lately and just the other day, I said to my Momma, I have to find a way to incorporate the pictures from all my travels. So lovely…. I say… HERE HERE! Your idea is brilliant. I adore it! I want more. Thanks for reminding me of such a fabio idea.
PS: I did some FBing, found who we are looking for…. Its a picture of a cute dog. Sigh!
Anna, I would love to see you join me in this series! I could happily live and breath travel (and chocolate and nut butter…) forever. Plus I bet you’ve taken more and better food photos in your travels than me!
Bahahaha I love this post.
Speaking of super weird toilets…I was a wee bit shocked in Taiwan (and Singapore) to come across the ever present “female urinal”…um, yeah, not my style.
Except less hurrah about the second part of your comment. I think my brain imploded trying to figure the logistics of that out.
Am happy to take the step to the right with you on your time warp series. Such a fun idea. Funny about the chip to chocolate ratio there young lady. Nice Grand Canyon shot too. Can’t say I like the look of in and out. And would generally prefer to stay out.
Yay! Thank you Louise
I had lots of Grand Canyon images to choose from here, but I liked the layered look of this one 
What you’ll find, if we do this Time Warp thing properly, is my first semester in America was all about mass-produced snacks, and the second was when I transitioned into high quality chocolate…
Hilarious. But thanks, now after seeing those photos I have a serious craving for an In N Out burger. And I’m at least one ocean away from them (nb, the lettuce leaves are ok, but the real deal is ‘animal style’). Now that’s really not vegan friendly…
I’ve always regretted not getting the animal style fries. That would’ve hit the spot at 11pm, I reckon…
What a fun post! It makes me want to get off the couch and see the world!
Hey lady, this is your world! You only need to look out the window
I love that you traveled to my neck of the woods. When I go to In n Out, that bunless beauty is what I usually enjoy. One thing that is so great about the area is that there is never a lack of street entertainment.
I wish I was traveling in your neck of the woods right now! We could grab our messy faux-burgers and sit on the street, audience-style, for hours on end
Your story about being forced into outlet shopping instead of Grand Canyoneering made me ‘lol’, in an ‘aww’ kind of way. Will keep that in mind if I ever (and I hope I do!) spend some time on the left coast.
Just make sure you don’t book through “GoTo” bus tours. Or something like that. It also turned out to be a tour company for 99% Chinese people, so as a bonus the tour guide spoke Chinese most of the time, and my friend and I were often left unsure as to what the plans/meeting times were. FUN!
I will forgive you for putting Time Warp (and, subsequently, this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yop79BB6fW8 ) in my head all afternoon because of the funny toilet photo. And the big kitty.
Also, I’ve done some pretty spectacular outlet shopping in the states, and still have wearable jeans this winter because of it, but I’m pretty sure that ratio of Grand Canyon time to shopping time is very, very wrong.
I may or may not be currently wearing a black denim skirt from Barstow Factory Outlet right now
Yay four-years-old Grand Canyon tour shopping scores! You and me, Conor: peas in a pod.
That ad, however, makes me die a little inside.
I love the West Coast of USA and I love the East coast too. West coast cause they have Trader Joes! I love their drug stores too where you can buy copious amounts of chocolate and alcohol all at the same time.
I just love the U.S. ‘Nuff said.
Hey, that last one really flatters our downstairs bathroom!
Bahahaha! I wasn’t going to name-and-shame you, Phil, but now….
P.S. *waves enthusiastically*
I think , Phil, it’s time you updated to a Toto Washlet: http://www.totousa.com/Washlet/WashletS400.aspx
Sue, my CARS aren’t that complicated. I can envision some inebriated night where I load the dishes in the Toto, then repair to the dishwasher for….{{shudder}}
Bahahaha!
{ 2 trackbacks }