Perhaps what I’ve been taught (or reminded of) most in recent weeks is that this world of ours can be just as terrifying as it is beautiful, and that empathy, kindness, and love are traits that we all, as humans, friends, family members, partners, and strangers, need to cling to and embody in our daily lives.
My thoughts are with all those affected by the natural disasters that have wreaked havoc across the world in recent months. I wish I could snap my fingers and make the tragedy go away. Unfortunately, no one woke up today and designated me fairy godmother, and so the little I can do is, if I’m lucky, provide a little respite and distraction. And maybe, just maybe, something to smile about.
What This World Of Ours Has Taught Me Recently
1. It’s really embarrassing when your first thought upon seeing Harry Potter-branded packaged cake mix isn’t “What a horrible capitalist co-optation of a beloved story! Why I oughta!” but “Oh no! I don’t know what a Lenticular is! I have been shamed!”
2. If something labelled “pudding” reminds you less of dessert than it does the La Brea Tar Pits, which gave you nightmares as a kid, you probably shouldn’t eat it.
Because if you do eat it, you’ll probably have nightmares, at age 23, about sinking into an abyss of evil black pudding.
3. You know you’ve found the kindest pilot-man in history when he remembers an offhand comment you made about almond butter months and months ago, and then sends you a jar of your favourite kind from halfway across the world, just because.
It makes you choke up a little.
4. Getting your mum to take ridiculous photos of you in public will always come back to bite you.
5. Bovetti’s Milk Chocolate with Caramel and Fleur de Sel is far more delicious when sent to you from Conor than it was when you bought and reviewed it yourself.
6. If in doubt, eat MAN BEANS.
(Modelled by the gorgeous and not-very-manly Lizzi.)
[Insert soymilk photo here]
7. Under no conditions should you be tempted to buy fat-free soy milk because it’s ridiculously cheap. You will soon discover that the reason fat-free soy milk is ridiculously cheap is because it’s pretty much just water. Water that looks and tastes like what goes down the drain after you’ve washed and conditioned your hair in the bathtub.
8. The world is a less scary place when you face it with a Cabbage Patch doll by your side.
{ 77 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh, I love the matching outfits! And that almond butter looks fab. The notion of fat free soy milk is more than mildly disgusting and I think your description is perhaps the best result that could possibly be expected. I didn’t know what a lenticular was either- but then my HP knowledge is much less than vast. And yes there have been way too many natural disasters this year. Thank you for the distraction.
I’d like to think I chose those matching dresses on purpose, but I must say I’m not sure I did at that age! The almond butter is delicious… the fatfree soymilk most certainly isn’t. Ugh.
ha, what a fun picture with the doll!
That doll and I had some good times together.
Isn’t a Lenticular those crazy googly eye glasses that Luna wore? Maybe I’m wrong. Or maybe I’ve ousted myself as a 29 year old reader of Harry Potter.
I live in Madison, Wisconsin and I can say that a timely distraction from the extremely tense political mood these past few weeks is always welcome. Not to mention the the rest of the world. Oy.
To be honest, I’ve been googling and I’m still not sure! It seems to be something to do with trading cards, but you could also be right! Plus, there’s nothing wrong with being a 29-year-old Harry Potter fan. In fact, there’s everything right with that
Excuse me? Have you ever seen anyone MORE manly modelling baked beans in a supermarket aisle? No? I didn’t think so. Thank you for your time.
ps. have i told you lately that you have the most adorable smile in the world? it’s one of my absolute faves. the picture of little-you reminded me of it, but it’s just as good today as it was back then
SO MAKE SURE YOU USE IT OFTEN. OR MY MAN-BEANS POWERED BICEPS WILL BE HAVING A WORD WITH YOU.
*laughs* Lizzi, I originally wrote “the awe-inspiringly manly Lizzi” but then I worried that other people wouldn’t understand the nature of our friendship (and you) and would think I was insulting you, so I changed it!
P.S. HOW YOU ALWAYS BE MAKIN’ ME FEEL SO GOOD?
You made me smile.
Yay!
Indeed, a lot has been happening around the world lately. How I wish everyone had a cabbage patch doll. I love the last picture of you carrying the cabbage patch doll – the beauty of a child’s innocent smile. Oh, lucky you too! I’ve been wanting to try barney butter. Is it any good?
Barney butter is amazing, I love it
Aw, thank you! I feel a desire to go to my parents’ place tomorrow and dig this Cabbage Patch doll out of storage 
Oh my goodness, I couldn’t stop laughing when I read the description aboutFat free soy milk.
It’s funny because it’s true…
She is sooo adorable! Agreed, I think we are all a little braver with a cabbage patch doll.
Hmm, do you mean younger me or the stunning Lizzi? I vote for the stunning Lizzi
Hm, I think I should have given up fat free soy milk for Lent!
Hahaha! Yes, do. That would be such a struggle
Lenticular is something that tickles your fancy during Lent.
Careful, Grandma! You know I trust you on everything word-related, what with your dictionary-editing prowess and all!
Well E and I pondered the lenticular and didn’t come up with an answer – but I can tell you that almond butter, chocolate and cabbage patch doll sounds like a great recipe for happiness! And what are man beans!!!
Clearly we all need to go back and reread Harry Potter!
Johanna, Lizzi and I actually did buy and eat these MAN BEANS (capitalisation is necessary). They were “steakhouse flavoured”, but I honestly couldn’t really tell much difference from normal baked beans!
Maybe only men can taste the steakhouse flavour so as to stop women eating man beans!!!
By jove I think you’ve got it!
You’re right – I think we all feel like cuddling a cabbage patch doll right about now. Or have a doggie to pat.
Alas! Both my cabbage patch dolls and my dog are at my parents’ place. I shall have to cuddle my pillow instead!
No Harry Potter pudding or Lenticulars over here in the U.S., although the Wikipedia page — “Examples of lenticular printing include prizes given in Cracker Jack snack boxes that showed flip and animation effects such as winking eyes, and modern advertising graphics that change their message depending on the viewing angle” — assures me that it is not wizarding-related. Phew!
As for La Brea tar pits, every time I hear that, I think of a The Far Side comic. “And down they went: Bob and Francine — two more victims of the La Brea Carpets.” And now I’m gonna re-read my The Far Side books.
Yes, I read that too, and became quite confused. I think it’s just a trading card/sticker book-related gimmick or something?! Next time I shan’t google myself, but shall trust in you to research for me
Ah, The Far Side! Thinking of those cartoons has now made me want to re-read Calvin and Hobbes
Awww love the childhood pics of you! You had (have) the most magical smile Hannah!
Thank you dearest! You’ve just made me smile even more
LOL! La Brea tar pits reminds me of Bugs Bunny cartoons!!
Haha! You’re the second person who’s been reminded of cartoons by that reference!
Ha! With soy milk, my favourite would be the organic ones or the traditional Asian ones. No fat-free for me!
I’ve spent most of my life with So Good but am currently using a full-fat Vitasoy. I think it’s organic, but I’ll have to check
Perhaps I should be sourcing from Asian grocery stores though!
Cabbage patch dolls were the highlight of my childhood ,your description of soy milk is spot on!
I shall always remember going to a Cabbage Patch store once as a kid and taking my doll to the Cabbage Patch doctor where he let me hear my doll’s heart beating
P.S. Only for fat-free soymilk, though, right? Real soy milk is delicious
Cute photos! ;-D
Thank you!
I saw those Harry Potter cake mixes a couple of weeks back. I’ve only read 3 of the HP books, many years ago, so I had to guess the remaining plot from the boxes: I think the story is mainly about star-shaped sprinkles.
You’re spot on. I personally think “Harry Potter and the Order of the Processed Sugar” was the best book in the series.
Yep. You made me smile do, as you always do lovely one
Have to agree I’d like to snap my fingers & return the world to normal too after the last few weeks of earthquakes & what not.
Thank you Anna – that’s all I could hope for
But clearly we all need to work on our snapping skills!
your last bit about water, down drain, soy milk…LOL and so true!!
the pic of you with the cabbage patch…i just cried a tear of joy (or of reminiscing?) b/c i have a little girl now (who doesnt know what cabbage patch dolls are…yet) and I can’t wait to tell her about then…and b/c i remember my own cabb patch dolls and how much i adored them when i was growing up.
Thanks for the trip down memory lane
Aw, thanks Averie, what a lovely comment! Your daughter is absolutely gorgeous; how wonderful that she has cabbage patch dolls in her future too!
Oh there are far too many things to comment on this post. Almond butter? Yum. Man beans? I needs! And cabbage patch dolls? I never had one but I really envied all the girls at school who did!
Helen, next time you come to Canberra I’ll bring both my Cabbage Patch dolls to dinner and you can pretend one is yours
I am so with you on the fat free soymilk and anything soy that is fat free.. seriously? It’s a freaken plant.. keep it intact.
Hahaha! Amen sister, amen.
The La Brea tar pits scared me so much when I was a kid!!
They really freaked me out too! My nightmares were actually about my mum sinking into them
YAY for ridiculous photos. And long-distance friends who remember particular things.
Agree that the world is a scary place right now, heck it has always been scary to me, just now there’s so much more to be scared of :/
That photo of you as a kid is toooo cool, love the confident grin.
What kid wouldn’t feel self-assured with a matching doll in his/her hands?
That said, I remember being terrified in grade four that the world was going to end soon, so clearly dolls don’t fix everything…
awww, what a sweet guy! So thoughtful! I love the idea of doing a “things i’ve learned lately” post!
I’d love to see what you’ve learned recently, Ashley! And yes, Patrick is a charmer
I saw the Harry Potter cake things, and thought the same thing!!!!!
Oh i totally agree about the cabbage patch doll
Hahaha! I feel much better about myself now
Harry Potter-branded packaged cake mix! Did you try this? And I know what you mean by silly pictures coming back to haunt you… think I took some in Syd….
You better post your silly photos then, Penny! Make me feel better
And no, for once I didn’t buy the crazy food. Tandoori canned chicken I will buy, but packet cake mix is over the line.
Cannot believe the tragedy in Japan
.
Cute post- that Milk Chocolate with Caramel and Fleur de Sel looks ridiculous good! And foodie gifts are just the best!
I know, it’s horrific, and the news only seems to be getting worse
I wish I could send chocolate to everyone over there!
So what *is* a lenticular?
No one knows. Something to do with trading cards or stickers or something, or perhaps a Harry Potter object that none of us can remember. Alas!
I’m jealous . You got a real cabbage patch doll. I had to make do with one that my Mum made. Which should really be considered awesome because it looked darn close to the real thing…but it wasn’t so it sucked.
Also, I want Harry Potter cake mix and I want it bad. Is that tragic?
*laughs* Vaala, I promise to let you cuddle my Cabbage Patch doll when you come to visit! Also, I completely understand you wanting the HP mix. If only it were vegan (doubt it) I’d send you a box
lol, that cabbage patch doll pic is adorable.
Thanks Susan
I loved this post
Number 3 is so sweet!! Wow. & I am so keen to try Barney Butter in the states. Oh, and I’m sorry, but Caramel and Fleur de Sel?? whaaaaa? How on earth have I never seen this before! Amazing. Oh and lastly, I never had a cabbage patch doll 
Maybe I should buy one now.
Heidi xo
Oh, please do buy a Cabbage Patch doll now! That would be hilarious
Definitely stock up on Barney Butter when you can – totally worth the space in your suitcase!
Oh poop.
When I went on my Hannah-yay! present quest I should obviously have done some homework first, or at least remembered reviews I’d read instead of employing an ooh-this-looks-pretty-or-kinda-weird technique. Damn you, Fleur de Nil! I hope the other stuff was less insipid!
Also, YOU are super cute, as always, but Cabbage Patch dolls always freaked me out, and still do. I wanted a Baby Alive, that you could feed and it did poos and wees. That’s totally less freaky.
OH CRIMINEY!! Conor, this is where I’ve made a big mistake! I actually didn’t re-read my last review when I wrote this post, so I had completely forgotten that I didn’t much like the chocolate last time. As a result, my whole “as delicious as last time” comes across as sarcastic, when it shouldn’t. OOOPS. I really enjoyed the chocolate this time around, I promise! And because I did enjoy it, I didn’t bother to double check my earlier review because I thought I liked it then too… I’m so embarrassed right now. Rest assured, it was tasty and gobbled up quicksmart!
Oh, I completely understand your desire for a Baby Alive (although the pooping doll I wanted was a Baby Born). But the Cabbage Patch Doll was awesome – I went to a Cabbage Patch Doll shop in America where a REAL DOCTOR let me listen to my doll’s heartbeat.
Good grief this has spiralled into a series of unfortunate misunderstandings. Any more and we could make a movie out of the story. In the movie we would go for ages and ages in a terrible state of bad misunderstanding, being upset with each other or upset with ourselves until some crucial moment in the story where it all becomes finally clear and we’re friends again and then someone gets married in the final scene and there’s a cute dog walking the rings down the aisle and everyone laughs to each other cutely.
Let’s skip past all that and just get to the bit where I know you weren’t being sarcastic (which I didn’t think in the first place), and am resting assured that you actually did enjoy it this time, and you are not embarrassed any more, and we both have pooping dolls and lashings of chocolate.
Conor, will you pinky-swear with me right now that neither of us will ever, ever, have a dog as ring-bearer at our wedding? The dog must be the master of ceremonies. Okay?
Also, I’m very icked out by the whole “pooping and chocolate in the same sentence” thing. Sigh.
That’s not *my* black pudding is it? (Well, not literally MINE, but the one I recommended, so therefore I consider it mine – ah, you know what I mean!)
Well spotted, my dear! It is yours. I’m still planning to try using the powder in cookies sometime
Lizzi actually looks good in this picture!
Oh Angus, you’ve thrown me into the path of a tumultuous decision. Do I play the good or bad angel?
Do I joke and say “It’s amazing what Photoshop can do these days”, or do I defend my beloved Lizzi’s honour and say “She always looks as fierce as Tyra Banks could ever desire in a supermodel?”
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