I loved it.
(Well, mostly I loved it. Sometimes I wanted to throw tantrums and quit everything. But mostly I loved it.)
Don’t lie. You want my seven-year-old style.
However, after completing AMEB Grade 8 in piano in Year 12 and making a CD at the same time with my clarinet ensemble, I started a high-pressure degree at university and music fell by the wayside. Suddenly, everything was about studying theoretical constructs rather than symphonies. Durkheim, Giddens, Bourdieu, and Veblen became the masters of my brain, replacing Debussy, Bach, Sondheim, and Mozart.
I think a part of me went missing.
(I somewhat patched over this missing part of me with raw chocolate brownies and walnut coconut butter, but food can only go so far.)
I tell you this as a way of explaining why the gospel choir I’ve joined for (alas! perhaps only) six weeks is making such a difference to my sense of self and well-being. I already mentioned the Strange Weather Gospel Choir, Eric Dozier, and my utter glee about both in this post, but I can’t help gushing again.
Because every Wednesday night, when I walk into the rehearsal room and chat with the fellow music devotees I’ve met, my heart lifts.
Because every time we run through our warm-up songs, the roiling mercury of anxiety in the pit of my stomach disappears.
Because Eric Dozier is the epitome of inspiration, and his commitment to sharing the stories and power of gospel, while also making us laugh, is beautiful.
Sometimes music is pain. And that’s why I look like I’m crying while singing in this photo.
Because gospel movement is all about your hips and your bum, not your head. I, for one, benefit from forgetting about my head sometimes.
Because I keep raw vegan mango sunflower balls in my purse to pop for an energy boost mid-rehearsal, so that I can keep singing with everything I have.
Because last Wednesday, when we 80-odd Canberrans were working on a song that incorporates the lyrics “Tell ole Pharoah / Let my people go”, Eric stopped us to explain that this sentiment isn’t just about religion or a singular historical moment. He told us to think of our own personal obstacles, of that which is holding us back from what we want to achieve, and to sing the song to that Pharaoh, that personal, private demon.
Everyone sang with more strength, after that.
I wish I still owned lacy fold-down socks.
Music can lift us up. It can make us feel stronger, happier, and healthier. For some, such soul-strengthening music takes the form of Lady Gaga, death metal, Broadway musicals, organ concertos (hi dad!), or even, perhaps, Rolf Harris (I’m Jake the Peg, diddle-iddle-iddle-um…)
For me, it’s the music I’m a part of, the music I can contribute to, that reminds me life doesn’t have to be a narrow, grey rectangle of routine, suffocating, self-focused activities.
So thank you, Eric Dozier and the Strange Weather Gospel Choir.
Even if it is your fault that I can’t sleep on Wednesday nights because I’m too busy singing to myself in bed like a crazy lady.
Ah well. Might as well use the night-time hours to make another batch of chocolate caramel slice then.
P.S. Canberrans! It looks like I’ll be performing with this choir at a concert at the end of March. You want to come along, don’t you? Sure you do! Sure you do!
{ 66 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow, what a history of music you have! I took piano lessons and played in a couple of recitals, but that was about it. When we moved overseas we didn’t have a piano (or keyboard for that matter) so I couldn’t practice anymore. I was never just super great, though, so no lost musician here, haha!
I’m sure you were a proper Mozart
And hey, it doesn’t matter what level of talent you have at music, so long as it makes you happy 
I don’t have a piano in my current apartment either!
Wow Hannah – I had no idea of your musical prowess! I am very impressed
I am pretty sure if I joined a choir they would laugh at me (and cover their ears!!)
I’m sure you’re just being modest; you probably have the voice of an angel
And thanks, though these days I’m very, very rusty music-wise!
Omigosh you were the cutest little thing. You look like a version of little orphan Annie….minus the orphan part
You’re not the first one to say that … in the US where some of those photos were taken she got that often!
Really? And you didn’t force me into child acting why?
Dumb dog / why are you following me? / I ain’t got a crumb, dog / How about lettin; me be?
Casey, I’m now going to have the Annie songs in my head all night. YOUR FAULT.
You little cutie
When’s your concert?? I’d absolutely love to come along!
Oh Lizzi, really? Would you really? If so, I’ll email you details when they’re confirmed
Great!
I don’t know how likely it is (March is a nutso month of weddings and parties and baby showers and such), but I will most definitely try to make it! Sounds awesome 
You’re right, I’ve got a lot of parties/birthdays/one wedding in March too! I’ll be in touch
nawww you and your rocking awesome lace socks!
I simply don’t know why lace socks haven’t caught on as a fashion trend?!
those photos are so cute – such concentration! and what a lot of time you spent on music – I used to play piano but the discipline to practice got me in the end!
gospel music and choc caramel slice sounds like a great day
Thanks Johanna! I wish I played more frequently now. I did bring my clarinet with me when I moved out; I’ll have to whip it out more often I think
I love the gospel. So much happiness!
I am so jealous of people that grew up playing instruments! I have no musical inclination at all, and I never played an instrument as a kid, so I feel like I have no hope now
It’s never too late to start! I bet you could rock a French horn or a piccolo
Oh I’ve loving all those pics from when you were little!
Thanks! It’s so fun finding them
Hannah, you are so talented! Lacey socks, I loved wearing them
And all your pics are so cute!
Thanks Priyanka, though it’s probably better to say I *was* talented
We should try to bring lacey socks back…
This is cool Hannah! haha you’re so adorable in those pics…reminds me of my crying and pressing hard on the keys when my mom chopped my hair off right before a recital.
OoOoh! Have you heard of Yiruma?! If not, I recommend looking him up on Youtube 
Thank you so much for the rec, Ellie! I’ll look Yiruma up tomorrow when I have better internet access
And heavens, your story about crying at the piano fills me with sympathy and the giggles at the same time! I think we all experienced that at one time or another
Will you wear socks like that at the concert?
Will you come if I do?
You are an inspiration Hannah; it’s so important to do things we’re passionate about. I’m sure in time your career will give you some of that too.
I used to love singing Let my People Go in high school religion classes! I would love to come to your concert if I lived in Canberra.
Margaret, thank you. This comment means so much more than you know right now.
And hey, the concert is several weeks away… surely you could arrange for a trip over here in that time
Brilliant photos (I’m still giggling), and I too loved my lace fold down socks!
You’re giggling at the awesomeness of my fashion sense, right? Right?
Ah! I really need to find lace fold down socks again now!
Hannah who knows, you might single handedly bring back the lacy turned down sock! And your outfit is no doubt coming back into fashion!
New plan: learn how to sew properly, and add lace to all of my socks. I shall change my blog name ot “Lacefarer Sockolate”. Oh, and the headband? Blair Waldorf was clearly copying me.
I had a pair (or 2) of those lacy turn down socks….. I was might cool wearing ‘em too so high fives to us fashionesta
Your musical talent sounds like its not only come back with a bang but its having its very own revival Hannah, so happy your enjoying ‘your voice’ in this found again way. Keep us posted re the big concert
I think if we’d met as children, we would’ve become close sock friends
And thank you so much for your kind words, Anna! I will keep you posted about the concert
Aw, little Hannah! I’m in love! Good on you for joining the choir and finding something you love to do. That’s called work-life balance, and I’ve heard good things about it, so keep it up!
Thank you Theresa! *hugs* I’m trying to make the most of the next few weeks as my stint in the choir is (sob) temporary. Yes, the whole work-life balance thing – I’ve realised that this is really, really important…
Wow. I’m so impressed- and jealous! My piano is at home, in storage. I miss it (though to be honest, in the last couple of years we took to using it as somewhere convenient to place a drink on top of, rather than something that I would play. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, I guess.
I miss mine too, as I no longer live at my parents’ place where the piano is! I think you’re right about absence making the heart grow fonder… but maybe one day in future we’ll both be able to go back to our pianos whole-heartedly
And, do you realise that in the first photo you are wearing AABB unlike that time you went to school wearing ABAB! As for the music, you know you can play or sing for me anytime…
BTW Everyone, the tantrums were few and far between.
You know, I was absolutely thinking of that ABAB day too when I posted that photo!
Ah yes, but I do want some of the gospel songs at the concert to be a surprise for you…
When I was young and belonged to a school choir we were given a small cube of pineapple to eat before singing – I’m sure our choirmaster would have been appalled by the thought of mango sunflower balls. The pineapple was supposed to make our voices sweeter – heaven knows how or why! And it’s not fair – I never had turned down lacy socks. But then I was never as cute as you were.
Grandma, that is such a hilarious story!! Hmm, maybe I’ll take a pineapple to the next rehearsal!
Oh, and I’m sure you were even cuter! These things get diluted as the genes go on, you know 
I do want your seven year old style. I also want that chocolate caramel slice!
The chocolate caramel slice will probably reward you more than the fashion
You were far too cute to handle. and yes I completely agree, lacy fold down socks are greatly missed. Good on you for getting into Choir again (and good luck!!). It is so important to spend time doing what you love.
Heidi xo
Thank you Heidi. You’re so right about spending time on what we love! I wonder if that should translate into spending money on the socks we love…
omg, you are sooo adorable!
Teehee, thanks! I think I was a bit of a fool, actually
I wish I had a quarter of your musical talents:) I really admire people who can sing and play musical instruments. Music is probably something that I was and never really am (or will be) good at. It’s exciting that you’re gonna be performing. I’d love to watch your performance! Too bad I can’t make my way to Canberra. Perhaps you should get someone to record it or take lots of photographs:)
Thanks Kayla! A lot of it was about practising constantly, I think
I don’t know whether photography will be allowed, but we’ll see!
I relate to the idea of something being missing. I haven’t been able to pursue art as much as I’d like — first at the science and technology high school, now in the field of international affairs. So far, I’ve been filling the void with style blogs. But I’d like to take a class as soon as possible.
This post also represents why I think the famous Tiger Mom (google it, if it didn’t reach Australia) had the right idea — in moderation, of course. Kids should grow up with music, despite the occasional tantrums.
I think my Mum was really good at knowing when I was just frustrated by practising and when I really did feel like I wanted a break. As a result, I stopped clarinet lessons in around year 10 but continued with the clarinet ensemble and the piano lessons seriously until university. And yes, like you, I think music is a wonderful thing to have a go at
I think the great thing about your comment is that you know that art is something you want to get back to. I managed to let myself forget how much music, reading, and writing meant to me for four years of university… silly, silly. I can’t wait until you become an art-fashion-megastar
Chocolate caramel slice? I want one!
I am so very not musically inclined in any way, shape or form, but I am glad you have something you love so much!
Thanks Errign
If only I had some choc caramel slice left to give you!
I love you’re a music person! And I so much wish I’d had started with piano lessons that early! (I’ve started at almost 25, but I play every day and love it very much.
) I definitely have to finish Debussy’s Prelude pour le Piano some day, and I want to play more from Bach. But most of all I love Chopin. 
Durkheim, Giddens, Bourdieu … So you’re a sociology student? I read several texts / books from that authors back in my time of cultural studies and found it very fascinating! Especially those three you named there I liked very much.
Oh, I love that you’re practising and loving the piano every day! I hope to one day live in a place big enough to house a piano, so that I can get back to it properly. I adore Debussy, and Bach’s Preludes and Duges can be wonderful for the kind of lose-yourself-in-concentration-contrapuntal-rhythmicness
Chopin is certainly wonderful too!
Yes, sociology! Well picked! I’m quite a fan of Bourdieu, and Veblen (the other one I mentioned) is known for his theory of conspicuous consumption, which is quite relevant these days!
Ah, I still remember those piano lessons when I was growing up. The piano is now dusting away now…LOL Good on you, I’m sure it will be a great show.
On gospel, I went and saw a few choirs when I was in the US a few years back, very uplifting.
Thanks Adrian! I hope the concert will be wonderful
I’m so envious of you having seen gospel in the US! Even though I lived there for a year in 2007, I never came across an opportunity to do so 
Oh man. Those little black shoes. And that dress. It takes me right back to Enid Blyton…not sure if you know that British children’s author!
Oh gosh, of course I know Enid Blyton! To be honest, I never read her as I was more interested in writers like Laura Ingalls Wilder, but I definitely know all about the Secret Seven and Famous Five
Never would have thought I’d make someone think of such stories! 
Its so wonderful that you can do something that uplifts your spirit so much! I’m completely envious! Takes some guts to do it infront of an audience though….good luck at the concert!
Thank you Maria! It is wonderful, and luckily I’ll be one of many singing together at the concert, so hopefully won’t be too nervous
You are just the cutest! I love your sassy hairdo, and Celine Dion wishes she could emote like you did while wearing lacy fold-down socks. And you know it goes without saying that I totally hear you on the music-is-good-for-you thing. Singing good music in a group is a powerful thing, go you!
Oh, Celine ain’t got nothin’ on me. I’m totally going to get my own Las Vegas show one day too… Laura, one day you and I will meet up and sing Broadway all day long
Um, I’m pretty sure you look like you’re crying in that photo due to the blinding electric blue slacks next to you.
Seriously though, this resonates (ha! see what I did there?) so well with me. Music was a huge part of my life all through my childhood. I played piano for years, and then gave it up and moved onto guitar which I never really got passionate enough about, and the I stopped playing that too and then… nothing. I also feel like something is missing
You know what though? Just this morning I was thinking to myself I’d like to try and make time in my life, somehow, for singing lessons. I think I’d erally enjoy that. Now, to make the time. Magic, perhaps? Do you have any spare fairy dust?
They are quite a spectacular colour. Gotta love the early 90s.
Conor, you and I need to move closer (how many times have we said this already?) and start our own Disney piano-clarinet-guitar-singing band. We would totally rock the world forever, plus I’m sure we’d spend all the our musical time together smiling and feeling happy
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