I have the best brother in the world.
1. He’s a dedicated meat-eater, but last December he willingly accompanied me to Yong Green Food, a raw vegan restaurant. And he liked it.
2. He wants me to make him green smoothies when he’s next in Canberra.
3. He’s forgiven me for the time I kicked him in the nether regions whilst wearing heavy boots. (I was nine.)
4. I’ve forgiven him for the time he threatened to bite my nose off. (He was sixteen.)
5. He’s helping me achieve my dream of becoming one part of the world’s best brother-sister figure skating team.
6. He’s an amazing primary school teacher.
7. He never stopped asking me to play table tennis when we were kids, even though I trounced him almost every time. (“Almost”, because sometimes I let him win.)
8. He’s one of my best friends.
9. And now, the following is what should convince you utterly, irrevocably, totally, and for always that E.TeacherLord is the best brother in the whole entire world:
a) He recently went on a three-week trip around America, and I begged him to bring me back one or two Vosges chocolate bars. I sent him a list of five of the flavours I most wanted to try, and asked him to pick just two from that list (these chocolates are usually $7-9 each, so two was the limit of what I thought appropriate to ask for).
b) This is what he brought back for me:
c) But that wasn’t all. He also went to the chocolate studio of Mast Brothers, whose Serrano Pepper Dark Chocolate I’ve reviewed, and bought me these:
d) And then, yesterday, my brother gave me my Christmas present, which Santa hadn’t delivered in time for the 25th. Laura, brace yourself.
I’m a little bit overwhelmed by how well this brother of mine knows me and cares about me.
And I’m also a little bit sorry that he once came home after a horrible day at work to find me cooking a soup made of split peas and green peas for dinner. He hates peas in all forms.
E.TeacherLord, I promise there’ll be no peas in any smoothies I make for you in future.