Christmas was lovely. And wonderful. And full of happy. And lovingness. And food. And food. There was food. And food.
I’m fairly sure I’ll be sharing my family’s Christmas munchies with you over the next few days, but seeing as I just finished eating rather a lot of leftovers (my wheat-free vegan chestnut stuffing was even better cold than warm) and my tummy feels like galumph, I thought I’d start the Christmas posts with a story about the present I gave my brother.
I gave him a Trail Ride.
When my brother, E.TeacherLord, and I were driving to Barwon Heads for our SeaChange lunch a few weeks ago, I discovered that he had never before ridden a horse. I did a semester of riding when I was 12 years old, and I’ve harboured a secret desire to be a Horse Person ever since.
(But I promise you, I was thinking only of my brother when I booked a trail ride for us at a local riding school in Canberra.
Cross my heart.)
I think the above photo captured the precise moment when my brother started to wish he was a Horse Person too.
Actually, maybe he just wants to be a cowboy. With a lasso, a saloon to go to afterwards, and a wench to bring him a flagon of ale. (Do cowboys drink flagons of ale? Do flagons of ale exist? Signed, the girl who drinks mineral water.)
I, on the other hand, was simply blurrily excited about getting back on a horsie for the first time in over ten years.
My horse was called Pokey. He was a real gentleman, and I completely understood his need to grab at food whenever the opportunity presented itself. If I were a horse, I’d rather stop and eat grass than carry me around too.
As you can see, I got on my horse with grace and style. Just so you know, that girl was only helping me up because she wanted to learn my magic horse-riding tricks, not because she had to tell me what to do with my legs. Yep.
However, someone probably should have told my brother what to do with his legs. You see, after I and two other people had got on our steeds, it was my brother’s turn to mount.
Stories differ, but all I know is this: I and the other two people got on our horses smoothly and with a minimum of fuss, but my brother? When he got on his horse, he managed to give the creature a swift and hearty kick to the flanks which led the horse to do some sort of crazy-big all-four-legs-in-the-air-at-once forward-jump-almost-buck. The two young girls leading our trail ride yelped, Evan yelped, the horse skittered, and I laughed.
Oh, how I laughed.
My brother, bless his handsome face, has always been a bit of an attention seeker.
(I think it’s the American in him. Swish! I jest, Americans. You know I love you.)
The trail ride was an hour of wonderment, and I hope I’m not speaking out of turn when I say that E.TeacherLord and I both enjoyed ourselves muchly. We did differ when it came to trotting, though, as I ecstatically cried “yes!” every time we were asked if we wanted to trot, and my brother was conspicuously silent on the matter.
For me, those brief moments when our horses sped up, when my decade-old lessons came back to me and I was able to be in sync with my horse’s movements, when the air swept past my face and my horse didn’t stop to snatch at the leaves of trees, were utterly wonderful. Embarrassingly enough, I wouldn’t be lying if I said that I beamed and even laughed aloud during these moments, but even that was nothing to the yayness of knowing my brother was enjoying the horse-riding experience too.
After all, he was on a horse.
Merry Christmas, E. Next time, we gallop like the wind.
As someone who regularly treats people who have been thrown off, trampled by, kicked and generally maimed by horses, I greatly admire that you turned up in a singlet top with sequins. This must explain your general aptitude in the anti-gravity stakes, I’ve never seen anyone come in off a horse wearing sequins- I think you are definitely onto something here. If you could only work out how to patent this discovery I think your financial future would be set. I too had my own pubescent dalliance with horse riding, though mine lasted a bit longer than yours ( a few years). I don’t think I’ve ridden since I did a 3 day trail ride in the Canadian Rockies for my 21st, and now blessedly I am too old to ride. I firmly believe that those over 40 should never be on any sort of conveyance, except perhaps a bicycle- horses, skis, skateboards, rollerblades etc are far too boneshatteringly dangerous now, not to mention undignified.
LOL Louise … I’m glad you mentioned the top with sequins. All I can say is if she’d been younger and still living at home she wouldn’t have been allowed out of the house in a top like that to go horseriding! Dancing, yes! Horseriding, no! But, you know, she’s her own person now and she did survive, so who am I to say… And what a great Christmas gift, eh?
You’re just cranky because you never got to do the “Your skirt is too short! Your top is too low! Put some clothes on!” lecture when I was a teenager. And whose fault is that, Ms Sensible Clothes?
Who you calling Ms Sensible Clothes? Moi? Surely not.
You’re right, that was wrong of me. You’re Ms Sensible Shoes, but your sequinned lycra unitards put you firmly out of the Sensible Clothes category
Oh, how this comment made me laugh, Louise! I had no idea I was wearing something inappropriate for horse-riding. That’s how much of a horsie noob I am
Must say the brother and I had a good ole laugh when we signed the waivers about how we could be seriously injured or die during the trail ride…
Hmm…. according to your logic, I have 17 years left to jump out of planes, learn to skateboard, so a week-long trail ride, fly a plane, etc etc… Oh, who am I kidding. I’d rather stay home and eat chocolate.
You always make me laugh! I totally get it when you said that you mounted the horse in style and grace
Seriously I cannot for the love of god, mount on a horse’s back! It’s always a herculean task. Something tells me this comment sounds a bit weird but oh well, you get the point right 
Aw, thanks Priyanka! Oh, I was very graceful indeed
I definitely get your point. Perhaps you and I should do a ride together one day and work on our mounting skills. (That sounds very wrong too.)
LOL You had me laughing from beginning to end Dear Miss Hannah. Thanks for being an entertaining and fresh voice and I hope to read every one of your 2011 adventures-on a horse or not!
Thank you Lorraine; this comment means a lot, coming from such a beloved and lauded blogger as yourself! Fingers crossed for many more 2011 adventures for the both of us
Aww you are too sweet Hannah! Seriously, I always, always look forward to reading your blog so don’t stop writing!
What a gorgeous post, with equally wonderful photos! The portrait one of you is such a perfect depiction of what was obviously such a happy day. Your brother is a lucky man to have a talented and generous sister such as yourself!
I hope your Christmas was everything you wished it to be! xox
Thank you so much, Jonathon! It really was a wonderful experience, and I think I’m pretty lucky to have a brother like E too
I hope you had a lovely Christmas yourself!
That is such a cool and thoughtful gift – better than what I got my brother. P.S. your brother really is handsome.
I’m sure whatever you got your brother was wonderful too! Plus, you made that amazing Christmas Tree cake
I’ll have to tell my brother to read this comment…
He’s totally hot.
I think you should marry him and move out here then… bringing your baking skills with you
Get on my horse, I’ll take you round the universe… and all the other places too!
“I think you’ll find that the universe pretty much covers everything.”
Shut up woman, get on my horse.
I do so love when you have entire conversations with yourself
Guess what? 3 hours! Woot!
Miss Hannah, we absolutely must see more of you doing the outdoorzy thing.., your absolute delight & glee with horseriding could almost be bottled & sold with this one. Glad you & your bro enjoyed your day out. Gals like us are lucky duckies to have such cool bro’s huh!
*laughs* You’re probably right there, Anna, as me and outdoorsy aren’t usually words that go together
If someone bought me a horse, though, I’d be perfectly happy to sell my glee about it… Yep, awesome brothers are the bestest!
How much fun… totally envious that you can ride a horse
I think saying I can ride a horse is probably pushing it! I doubt I’d do well with any animal that wasn’t used to incompetent riders
what a christmas treat! you look very relaxed – those lessons must have been well worth their while – I started off on donkeys at my best friend’s place until she got a pony – it was a huge step up as a child and every now and again I think it might be fun to go on a ride. I also read horsey novels as a girl so I knew I should rise to the trot and enjoy the gallop – which was much easier on the page than on the horse!
I went through a small phase of reading horse books, but it was only ever the Thoroughbred series, which I liked because the first ten or so were really detailed about the racing aspect. But then the author changed and the series became like Sweet Valley High on horses, and I got bored
I’m envious that you had a best friend with donkeys and ponies! Perhaps one day we should go on a ride together somewhere near Melbourne
When did you go horseriding? Because, coincidentally, I went horseriding on boxing day!! My horse was called Stormy, and he/she (I’m mortified that I didn’t find out the gender of my horse) was so greedy that, every time there was half an opportunity, he/she would lean down and start munching on grass/leaves. It was very fitting though, since I also like to eat. He/she was the perfect horse for me, obviously.
Great minds think alike! Were you at Forrest Park or Kerrabee? I’m so tempted to take riding lessons at FP… so close to my house! Wanna join me in going broke for horses?
It seems that every trail-ride horse is a bit of a greedy-guts. But like you, and as I said in my post, I completely understood the desire to eat constantly 
oh this looks like so much fun!! i’m a little scared of horses. i fell off once & narrowly missed a cow pat. your ride looks like a lot more fun!
Heidi xo
Yep, there were no cow pats involved, although the horse in front of me did poop rather constantly throughout the ride…
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Hehee, I love horse riding! Hurts like a bugger afterwards tho….
My brother was sore, but I was absolutely fine
THIGHS OF STEEL.
I. am. jealous!!! I havent been riding in too long!! I must go and check out Forrest Park! Is that where you rode?
Yes, and Kerrabee also does trail rides
And hey, if you want to go together sometime, I’m in! 
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I had to read the horsey post! So glad you enjoyed it and hope you have been able to gallop like the wind since
Teehee, but of course you did!
I had so much fun, but sadly haven’t been able to ride since 
I’m hoping to one day in the future take up riding seriously, or at least learn to do it properly 