Truly, I was.
I was planning on pulling muffins from my oven, muffins that had within them bananas for potassium, oat bran for fibre, soy milk and flaxmeal for protein, and brown sugar for happiness.
Hence I drove to the shops and, after carefully picking out an unblemished mango and nashi for my mum, I went to the cereal aisle to pick up the oat bran.
On my way to the oat bran, though, something caught my eye. Something with a heavenly glow and angel wings sprouting from its back. Something that sang out to me with its glorious resemblance to this American cereal.
Back To Nature Cookie Bite’z Cereal
Cookie cereal! Chocolate. Chip. Cookie. Cereal. Glorious processed sugary snack masquerading as a valid breakfast choice! Natch.
I let out a “meep” right there in the aisle, snatched the box of Cookie Bite’z (sic) close to my heart, and scampered to the check-out, glaring at anyone who stood near me in case they tried to take the crack – pardon, cereal – from my hands.
As soon as I got home, I poured myself a bowl.
The most surprising thing about this chocolate chip cereal is that it isn’t, in reality, all that bad in terms of ingredients. It’s gluten-free and dairy-free, and is made of just corn flour, dried cane syrup, chocolate bits (we’ll get to these), cocoa, salt, flavours, and then a myriad vitamins and minerals. Oh, and less than 1g of fibre per 100g. So everybody wins… except those with sluggish bowels. (Oh yes. I went there.)
As a self-styled chocolate reviewer, though, I can’t let the “chocolate bits” go through to the keeper. Chocolate bits? Chocolate bits? I’m sorry, but something comprised of sugar, then corn cereal, then corn syrup, then corn starch, then palm oil, and then cocoa is not chocolate. It’s corn. With colouring.
That said, I do understand that the name “Corn Chip Cookie Cereal” doesn’t offer the same marketing opportunities as does “Chocolate Chip Cookie Cereal”.
But what, Hannah, (I imagine you’re wondering to yourself) does this cereal taste like? Is it really, like the marketing blurb says, “a nutritious crunchy cereal which is just like eating a bowl of delicious choc-chip cookies for breakfast – without the guilt”?
Well, no. It isn’t. If I close my eyes and wish really hard, I can imagine that these taste a little like cookies. There’s definitely a sweet and almost malty flavour that could be construed as cookie-like, but in all honesty it tastes more like toast to me. The sweetness is a bit tangy, which I’m assuming is because of the cane syrup, and the salt does nicely accentuate the cereal’s almost-cookie-ish flavour. But is this chocolate chip cereal chocolatey? Not on your nelly.
Have I eaten half a box tonight anyway?
On your nelly.
And now, for my last posed question of this review: will I ever buy this cereal again? Absolutely, positively not. However, this isn’t for the reason you might think. You see, I’m not refusing to repurchase this cereal because it doesn’t taste like cookies, or because it’s rather expensive.
No. The reason I will never never never purchase this snack/cereal again is purely grammatical.
Cookie Bite’z. BITE’Z. BITE’Z.
My close friends know that if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s incorrect apostrophe usage.
BITE’Z.
I can forgive Back to Nature the “z”. I can forgive them the erroneous flavour description.
I can never forgive them the apostrophe.
Never.
{ 59 comments… read them below or add one }
Ohh, wow. I haven’t had Cookie Crisp in years and years. I hate to make you jealous, but I have to tell you that in the dining halls at the dorms in KU (my “uni”
) they all had cereal buffets. The one I worked in, at the girls’ dorm, had the biggest – 12 different cereals, all-you-can-eat, all day every day. Everything from Cookie Crisp to Corn Flakes to Lucky Charms to Honey Nut Cheerios to Froot Loops to…just everything imaginable. Haven’t thought about that in a long time…that may be the one thing I actually miss about that place. I ate “suicide cereal” for dinner all the time. (Suicide Cereal, named after Suicide Soft Drinks, is when you go down the line and put a little bit of every available kind in your bowl and mix them all together to eat them.) ANYWAY, I support you in your apostrophe-misusing-products ban. But you HAD to give the one box a go 
I would’ve too!
First of all, you love making me jealous.
Second of all, I’m actually not because I got to experience that at UVA! Not with 12 different kinds, but there was usually Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Lucky Charms, and the one that’s like gravel (can’t remember the name) which made me happy. I’d always sneak out with at least two styrofoam cups filled with sugary goodness for later.
But what I really miss now are the peanut butter cereals that don’t exist here. Liek peanut butter puffins…
Also… grammar strictarians unite!
Oh, Cookie Crisp! I did love that stuff when I was a kid, though my parents wisely refused to buy it for me and my brother very often. Reading Amber’s comment reminded me of a cereal I used to buy for snacking purposes when I was in college – we did not have a kick-ass cereal bar in my college dorm – Waffle Crisp! Even better than Cookie Crisp because it did not suffer from lame chocolate substitutes.
Ohh, I forgot all about Waffle Crisp! That stuff was so maple-y and amazing! For awhile there they also made French Toast Crunch – also stupendous! Mmm, processed sugar snacks of yore…
French Toast Crunch… I’d be so in. Also, see below comment about maple-waffle cereal. I can’t wait.
Guess what? There was one other cereal by this company sitting next to the Cookie Bitez (haha! No apostrophe!), and it was called Waffle something, and was flavoured with Maple Syrup. Damn straight I’m going to buy that one soon
Yay!
I think I’d shun them on account of the “Mum’s Checklist”. Mum’s Checklist? Really??!! The horror of that distracted me from the apostrophe – what’s it doing? What does Bite’z even mean? On top of that, they’re more ‘chocolate dust particles’ than chocolate bits, aren’t they?
But, at first glance, I can see how you’d want to grab it from the shelf. Cookies for breakfast!
Good for you H&F…Mum’s checklist indeed. Though, they did get THAT apostrophe right.
Thank the lord they didn’t follow America’s lead and call it “Mom’s checklist”, at least.
Ah, but here’s the problem. You wrote “chocolate dust particles”, and I immediately thought “Oooooh! Sounds like fairy magic! I want!”
Thing is, I still can’t stomach the thought of this for breakfast. But it’s making an acceptable afternoon tea snack
Hahaha yeah, there apostrophe horrified me too, but I know, deep down, that I won’t be able to resist buying it much longer. And the waffle version. Arghhhh.. They know me so well……
that was supposed to be *THE, by the way. Not ‘there’. Which looks horribly like I tried to write ‘their’ and failed.
What, you’ve seen this already but didn’t immediately buy it?
It’s like I don’t even know who you are anymore.
oooh what a fun little snack!
It is indeed!
Dear Hannah, I greatly admire your apostrophe stand. I myself can’t get past the fact that a company flogging itself as “back to nature” has such a preposterous product as the bizarrely named Cookie Bite’Z. The whole notion that you could or indeed should eat vaguely disguised chocolate chip biscuits as breakfast cereal, well quite frankly it’s laughable. Gee I wonder why Australia and America duke it out to win the title of the fattest countries in the world. This is the cereal of Rosemary Stanton’s nightmares. Don’t even get me started on my hatred of every biscuit becoming a cookie. I feel that I’m on a losing battle on this one, but fight on I shall. So No. I won’t be buying it either.
They seem to be having difficulty working out how to market the cereal to kids and parents simultaneously. I think they’re kinda failing… or maybe they’re doing it really well? Being neither a kid nor a parent, I really can’t tell… all I know is that if they’re after the “nostalgic-for-America” market, they’ve hit the nail on the head.
Hmm. I don’t think I really mind about the biscuit/cookie battle, but good luck with that! We each have our own personal bugbears when it comes to language
Cookie bite cereal! I saw this in the supermarket recently but I put it back on the shelf because of the price :/ I might buy it one day but I’m probably better off sticking with my gluten free muesli!
And how does bad grammar go unnoticed when they must have so many people working for them?
To be honest, there was no price tag on the shelf when I saw this and picked it up, then when it scanned at the check-out I experienced a serious whack of The Guilts.
Ah well. Back to making my own granola next week
Also… exactly! How can this have gone through all the stages of testing and creation and proof-reading?! Is Back to Nature staffed by monkeys, perhaps?
I think I’d go for your granola for sure over this…… but 10 outa 10 for reviewing it all the same, now when I see these little sukka’s calling for me as I pretend I don’t see them and walk by quickly I’ll know ‘all about them’.
Good call, Anna! See, I’m doing you all a favour by trying these
Goodness gracious, I think the world is coming to an end. Two processed food products in less than a month…
The sky is falling! The sky is falling!
Heck no, I am sticking to my good , old fashioned Kashi! I believe that a bowl of cereal should not give our kids & us the shakes in the morning!
I love your cynical choice of words “masquerading as a valid breakfast”…..etc. he!he! This breakfast impostor sure as h… ain’t getting your endorsement, bummer for them!
Sadly, not all of us live in countries where Kashi is available!
I miss that cereal from my time in the US… Of course, I also miss Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but maybe I shouldn’t admit that? 
Yep, not really an endorsement from me for this cereal. It just plain doesn’t taste very nice!
Think I need to get some of this… that way I can justify eating cookies for breakfast and not feel bad
Honestly, do your taste buds a favour and eat some real cookies
I’m with YOU, Hannah – anything ‘lite’, ‘brite’ or with a ‘z’ on the end immediately gets my vote for ‘ignore it and walk on.’
If only I had ignored it and walked on… ah well, live and learn, right? (Actually, it’s quite good doused in tahini…)
yeah maintain the rage on the apostrophe – it is so misused and misunderstood! In fact I suspect with the apostrophe properly used these might have tasted more like the choc chip cookie cereal you were expecting. Though then we wouldn’t have the important question of the post – why don’t cereal manufacturers employ editors?????
So happy to have people on my side, apostrphe-wise! I scared a friend recently by burstng into a rant in the middle of a shopping centre because JB Hi Fi was advertising its “CD’s”. Teehee! I like your idea that correct punctuation would make the cereal taste better too
I also like that you’ve implicitly suggested a job for me. Cereal editor
I think being a cereal editor would be an excellent job though I suspect there would be a lot of people thinking it was a typo and you were actually a serial editor!
Surely those two things don’t have to be mutually exclusive?
I’m confused by the “318g Serving Suggestion”. Firstly, why 318g? Secondly, are they suggesting you serve the entire thing at once? Thirdly, the serving suggestion picture is stupid – it would go everywhere at the first spoonful.. why not get a larger bowl? There is a lot of stupid here. Don’t get me started on the checklist.
*giggle* Well spotted, Ms Fellow NitPickyPoo! “Serving suggestion” would make sense if the cereal was shown with, say, ice cream and chocolate sauce, but it’s just a bowl of cereal. Without even milk.
So maybe they’re saying 318g serving size (ie, the whole box) because that would give you 2000mg of calcium, double the RDI?
I don’t agree with your third point, though. This is purely finger cereal, not spoon cereal
But yes. So very much stupid. But look what fun we’re having with it!
Are you kidding me? These look just like little cookies. I, too wouldn’t be able to stomach them for breakfast but any other time of day would be just fine!
Love that they are gluten free too. USA get all the good stuff. Oh and Thailand!
I haven’t once had them for breakfast. But I’m finding them quite palatable as a snack drizzled with tahini. See how healthy I am?
Oh, I can’t wait to hear about your Thailand eats!
Thank you for your defense of correctly placed apostrophes! I love your discipline and it’s brought a brown sugar smile to my face this morning.
I shall campaign in defense of correct apostrophes until the day I die. I shall be the Michael Pollan of punctuation
You crack me up! I would probably not buy them again because they don’t taste like cookies! Though if I recall, the ones growing up didn’t taste much like cookies either, just the name made us really excited as kids.
Yes, you’re right! I bought Cookie Crisp once and was disappointed with the lack of cookie flavour. Cinnamon Toast Crunch, on the other hand…
P.S. Thank you, Alisa!
Hello, fellow chocoholic! Loved reading this review. I would personally be wary of buying anything that involves a “z” instead of an “s” and that apostrophe is appalling, yet for some reason I sort of wish I had that in my cupboard right now :p I’m gonna have to settle for chocolate Cheerios
Oh, no fairsies! We don’t have chocolate Cheerios here in Australia! (Only plain and honey oat, the latter of which only arrived last month.) How could you taunt your fellow chocoholic like that?
Just imagine pouring yourself a bowl of miniature chocolate chip cookies and then pouring milk all over them and eating them for breakfast…hmmmm, perhaps that’s what you should be baking.
I don’t have to imagine… well, I guess I do for breakfast, as I’ve only eaten them in the afternoon/night so far! But you’re right, it is very tempting to bake myself real cookies as cereal!
hehe yes the horror!!!!!! Perhaps you should send them a letter! I would love to see what they had to say in reply hehehe
You know…. that’s actually a really good idea! Though maybe an email, because I’m lazy like that
haha, I have a friend who’s pet peeve is incorrect grammar! I thought of America when I first saw this. America and their crazy cool cereal! I am impressed with the ingredients list too! I will buy this for my brother, he will go nuts! Nuts, I say!
Heidi xio
Me too! I feel like I should be cranky that Australia is following in the footsteps of America with this crazy cereal, but I just can’t be. First stop, crazy cereal, next stop, flavoured peanut butter?? Fingers crossed
oh yes!! fingers crossed
Chocolate flavoured things just aren’t the same as chocolate. I don’t eat chocolate biscuits unless there is actual chocolate in it and the same goes for chocolate cereal. I bet every time you had to write the name you had to correct your natural typing huh!
Amen, sister. This is why I don’t, as a rule, even like chocolate desserts. Usually they’re more sugar than chocolate, which is never okay in my book
Also, you have NO IDEA. It physically hurt adding in the apostrophe. I can’t tell you how many times I went back and forth between doing it correctly and how they did it. *shudder*
I WAS going to buy this cereal!!!
Will try it and blog about it too!! Lemme try the waffle one and compare to yours ok?
Ooh, please do! I’d love to know your thoughts on both flavours!!
I’m actually on my 3rd box of the stuff! I love it! But only because its Gluten-free, if I was allowed to eat normal wheat filled cereal goodness this one would no longer be on the morning menu…
I’m glad you’ve been able to find a satisfactory gluten-free cereal option! After all, I did like this when mixed with peanut butter
Just putting it out there, you can get cookie crisps in Australia. Namely at select IGA grocery stores (in sydney), but they cost way too much – $15 for one box! I think I’ll stick to the cheaper alternative.
Alas, the same cannot be said for IGAs in Canberra! I’d never shell out $15 for Cookie Crisp, but I totally would for Cinnamon Toast Crunch or Reese’s Puffs
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