I don’t know about you, but I need a break from eating and reviewing Cadbury chocolate. Sure, I have at least four more blocks to blog about in the near future, but I can assure you that there’s only so much hyper-sweet milk-diluted mass-market chocolate that I can take at any one time.
So, instead, let’s talk about some moderately-sweet butterfat-diluted mass-market chocolate instead.
(Did anyone else just hear me weep?)
Moser Roth Dark Chocolate Hazelnut Gianduja
I should have known this chocolate wasn’t going to float my boat the moment my camera refused to take a good photo of it. Oh, how I struggled with focus and lighting! And by “struggled”, I mean “lamented the fact that my usual point-and-shoot technique failed me and that I lacked the photomography skills with which to create success out of the failure”.
See? Terrible photos. I even tried turning on the bright heat-lights in the bathroom, putting the chocolate on a plate, balancing that plate on Smurf Toilet, and then taking photos.
Yeah, you heard me. This is toilet chocolate. Want some?
Those of you who have shopped at an Aldi before might have come across Moser Roth. I, however, who before last week had never darkened the doorways of an Aldi store, had no idea that so many intriguing chocolates existed within that cavern of fluorescent budget living. Within two minutes of entering the store I had seven different blocks of chocolate in my basket, but I very virtuously put all but three back on the shelf.
That said, I wish I’d put this one back instead of the dark chocolate with chilli.
I should probably clarify that statement further. You see, this chocolate isn’t nasty by any means. In fact, Moser Roth’s dark chocolate with finely ground hazelnuts (this makes the “gianduja” component) has a rich and sweet chocolate aroma, an appealingly red-black glossy sheen, and a deliciously soft texture that melts luxuriously over your tongue the minute you take a bite. Or a nibble, if you’re trying to be ladylike whilst watching Glee and giggling madly at the final shot of Britney re-enacting a pivotal image from The Lady and the Tramp.
Here’s where my problem – my insurmountable obstacle – with this chocolate lies: orange. I don’t know what the bucket was going on, but the moment I put this chocolate in my mouth I was walloped with a subtle yet pervasive and unyielding taste of Jaffas. I tried to convince myself I was imagining things, for how on earth could a hazelnut chocolate taste nothing like hazelnuts and everything like orange oil? And yet every bite hit me with the same Jaffa-taste, until I simply had to put the chocolate away then bequeath it to my parents, whom I hoped would be able to enjoy it more than me.
In all honesty, I’d be surprised if anyone (apart from me) could taste orange in this chocolate. Quite simply, it doesn’t make sense that even I taste it, but then again I’m ridiculously hyper-sensitive to orange. Perhaps the culprit is simply some sort of artificial acrid flavour which my confused brain has interpreted as orange?
Or maybe this particular bar of chocolate had been stored alongside Moser Roth’s dark chocolate with orange and almond. I don’t know. All I’m sure about is that my stupid brain couldn’t enjoy this chocolate, and that somewhere in America, a fellow with nice hands is playing the piano.
But that last part probably isn’t relevant.
Haha Cadbury chocolate eh? I thought I missed it, then I ate some of it today and was like meh! Hey I haven’t forgotten you re the Vita mix. Can you send me an email to robyn@girlonraw.com and I have a surprise for you!
I think there are certain childhood treats that are best kept in childhood
‘Cause Cadbury truly is “meh” once you’ve had the better stuff! 
hehe the ‘toilet chocolate’ comment had me giggling!!! Things we do to get a good pic!!!
Or to still get a bad pic, in my case….
I was disappointed by this chocolate too… It wasn’t bad by any means (in fact, for the price? Pretty darn good!), but I agree… something in the flavour was just off. I didn’t pick it as orange, exactly, but I did find it oddly fruity, rather than nutty at all. As if they’d meant to grind up hazelnuts, and accidentally used…pears. Or something. It was weird.
Unless, of course, we’re the fruity, nutty ones…
You and me, fruity and nutty? How could you even suggest such a thing? … Oh, by the by, could you please pass the peanut-butter-topped-milk-jam-coated-ice-cream-sundae-garnished-with-blue-cheese-broccoli? Ta.
Funny, I think hazelnut and orange go smashingly together.
And yet I can’t think less of you for that, seeing as we share the Sideways Stories appreciation
I’ve got a huge Moser Roth stash too and have only written one, yet unpublished review. I ws hugely disappointed, especially after being urged by so many friends and GoneChocco readers that MR is super good.
It isn’t. *sob*
And now those people are no longer your friends, right?
I’m still prepared to try the chilli one eventually, so as to compare it to Lindt’s version, but to be honest I’m in no rush!
In other words, I agree: *sob*
I’m sure noone else would have picked up on the orange
Hey, guess what, guess what! My mum totally did too! I’m not insane!
I can’t stop laughing right now. This is the stuff that the German PhD student in my lab has been going into raptures over for months, saying that I MUST get myself to an Aldi and I MUST buy this chocolate. Having tried the type of chocolate she likes before, I didn’t have high hopes for it. Eventually she got sick of me never going to Aldi (I just never got around to it!) so she bought a heap of it and brought it in to have with drinks when we were celebrating our Honours students handing in their theses. Oh… god… the horrible cloying sweetness… the weirdly textured “coffee” flavoured cream in the centre (I didn’t realise it was coffee flavoured until I looked at the name on the pack)… the complete absence of any enjoyability…
Then she gave me the mint one to take home. Mint is my least favourite flavour in the world (I can only tolerate it in raita – anywhere else and I can’t stand it). So yeah… thoughtful but… hmm…
I remember the guy that held that chocolate-tasting course I went to (the one with the Cadbury-obsessed middle-aged women) said that chocolate picks up flavours pretty easily (probably due to the fat content, I’m guessing), and it’s often shipped from particular locations with particular other produce, like bananas, so single-origin chocolate from a particular location will often have hints of whatever is grown in that location.
I don’t think we need to worry about Moser-Roth being single origin though. But it still has the fat content to pick up other flavours, for better or for worse…
Ok I just realised that the single origin stuff that picks up the hint of banana or whatever it’s shipped with is probably only in the form of cocoa beans at that stage, not the final chocolate product. So it’s something about cocoa that makes it pick up odor/flavour molecules? I don’t know, but the fat content is probably going to help as well anyway…
Hmm, I’m with you on the fat content enabling finished chocolate to pick up other flavours (I created white-chocolate-spearmint-buttons by accidentally keeping a baggie of white chocolate drops next to chewing gum a few weeks ago), but I don’t think I’m prepared to accept that single-origin cacao/chocolate only has unique flavours because of what it’s shipped near or grown with. I do believe that climate and the type of beans and soil and yadda yadda yadda affects the flavour. In my experience, certain areas of the world definitely produce tangier/earthier chocolate, for example, so it can’t all be down to an excess of banana exports
That aside… gosh, is there anything worse than trying to hide one’s chocolate snobbery in the presence of people who won’t stop exalting over low-quality and OBJECTIVELY (:P) crappy chocolate? I bet that person is next going to hand you a bottle of Cottee’s Ice Magic and tell you it’s the most rich, divine, and flavourful chocolate product imaginable
Oh no I totally agree that the flavours of cacao beans aren’t solely influenced by what they’re shipped with. No way. But he did mention that that can be one contributing factor to the taste, and then he mentioned a country that often ships the product with bananas and we tasted the chocolate from that country and I’m not sure I could taste bananas but everyone else seemed to be able to but THAT’S COGNITIVE PROCESSING FOR YOU. Tell your brain what to perceive and it will perceive it even if it isn’t there.
Remember that this Moser-Roth lover is also the same person who made the lab dessert out of compound chocolate and Arnotts biscuits. But there’s another German PhD student in a different lab upstairs who also swears by Moser-Roth and recommends it endlessly to me (specifically the “almond mousse” one… that doesn’t sound promising) so I’m just going to have to assume that this is like Australians recommending Cadbury overseas, and I’m sure many of them do – maybe it’s a bit of familiarity and nationalism and the fact that the vast majority of people just aren’t interested in educating their palate when it comes to chocolate.
Abso-fricking-lutely, though in sociology we don’t call it cognitive processing
I *knew* it was going to be the same compound choc and biscuits person! I’ve been discovering that many, many of my fellow PhDers and assorted admin staff at my uni are diehard Cadbury lovers. And one PhD student recently stopped by my office with a bunch of Moser Roth. Jess… we need to do something about the state of chocolate in academia!
Hi Hannah, sorry to leave a comment here but I couldn’t find your email address on your site.. Congrats – You’ve won a giveaway on my blog!
Please email me at diaryofaladybird[at]gmail[dot]com for more details
Anna x
I think I just hyperventilated a little. Squee! And you’re right, I had no idea my “about” page, with my email, had disappeared when I switched domains. And I have no idea how to fix it – eep!
You have a heat light in your bathroom? Awesome. That would make showers on cold days so much better.
I’ve never been to an Aldi – there are none in Townsville, and though there was one nearby in New York, it was more than 30 minutes drive and there were better shops in the meantime so I have never experienced what Aldi has to offer. Am I missing out?
In my opinion? No. But then again, I’ve only been once, and why on Earth would Aldi even exist in New York, where there are Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s and Zabars and Garden of Eden and….
I’m sorry, I just went to my happy place of memories.
I do love me that heat light thingy. Probably don’t need to turn it on now that it’s getting close to summer…. but I’m like a lizard. Needs me some heat
Oh right, not THAT New York. New York state… like, 4 hours north of the city. Like, people driving cars with confederate flags waving from the antenna (fo realz). We had a health food shop, 20 minutes in the opposite direction from Aldi’s. But mainly it was chain supermarkets with surprisingly good tofu selections!
That’s one thing I love about America – even little country towns are likely to stock frozen edamame, flavoured tofu, and at least one type of quality dark chocolate somewhere
Also… absolutely believe you re: confederate flags. When I stayed with a friend in rural Virginia, we saw many of those things flying from people’s houses.
ALDI?! ::shudder::
I wonder if I’d taste the orange in that. I don’t have a sensitive palate, generally speaking, but with some things (orange included), I can often smell them from a mile away. =/
That last part must be relevant to SOMETHING, even if not chocolate…hmm?
Actually? I think you would taste this, as I’ve just confirmed with ym mother that she could taste it too. My dad and grandma couldn’t, but they like chocolate in any form. I have full faith that your tastebud acuity would be all over this
And, well. You know.
cunningly positioned photo to make it look orange behind the chocolate – who said you don’t have excellent photomography skills
Aw!
I guess you’re right – my photomography skills are quite good, but now I have to work on the photography skills…
I tasted it too – or something not quite right. I. Did. Not. Like. It.
And while I’m sorry to have foisted such an experience upon you… hurrah! Hurrah! I’m not crazy!
Hehe your camera is like the first responder that you send in. If it takes the photo, it should be tasted
Now I just have to learn to listen to what the camera is telling/showing me! Save myself some grief
oh great review! I definitely don’t want orange mixed in with my chocolate!
Hurrah for another anti-orange chocolate lady!
Oh dear, as soon as I read there was orange in it I knew it’d get the thumbs down from you. Mmm, what’s a girl to do to get a good bite of chocolate huh. Love the lighting problems/toilet sitting chocolate….
Toilet chocolate!
Luckily for me I’ve got plenty of non-orangey chocolate in my stash…
you have a smurf toilet? Or is that code for a very small blue toilet??
I’m very weary of chocolate that comes from Aldi, hence why I never buy it. Now I know EXACTLY why I dont buy it!
I don’t think you knew of my blog back in the day of the Smurf explanations so, in short, I have a Smurf Kitchen so-called because it’s vibrantly blue: http://wayfaringchocolate.com/2010/06/14/smurf-kitchen-and-some-stupidity-revealed/
… and my toilet matches. Thus, Smurf Toilet!
Aaaaand now I’m craving Jaffas. And need to go to the toilet. It’s all your fault.
Instead of blaming me, why don’t you think of me as the Saviour Of Thy Bladder? Catchy, no?
Looks like we can strike Aldi off the Melbourne itinerary then. :p
Agreed! But don’t you even *think* about taking my Costco expedition away from me. It’s indecent how much I’ve thought about that mega peanut butter jar…
I could probably taste the orange too. Why do they always ruin perfectly good dark chocolate with orange? Sometimes it can work, but who in the world decided that those two flavors were a match made in heaven?
I don’t know! And I disagree with you a little bit… chocolate and orange can NEVER work.
And I bet the person who decided they were a good match was the same person who decided jeggings were a good idea 
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