What I’ve realised lately:
1. I really ought to start carrying around a jar of peanut butter in my handbag. Y’know, as a security blanket. For the inexplicable sad moments in life. I think this could work. And many short disjointed sentences that make no sense on their own. Yes.
2. My tastebuds aren’t the only part of me that love granola. Apparently, my cleavage does too. In other words: I would like said cleavage to please stop applying its gravitational pull to the granola on my spoon. Body, I promise you, the granola works best when it makes it to my mouth, not my bra.
- There’s only one thing better than real butter, and that’s Butter Flavour. Who’s with me?
3. Actually, while we’re on the subject of items ending up in places they probably shouldn’t, I found toothpaste on my nose tonight. At least it smelled minty-fresh.
4. I don’t really dislike The Marking Of Essays, but I do dislike how The Marking Of Essays seems never-ending. It’s as if these essays have taken a leaf out of the Tim Tam book, in terms of being that which never runs out. (I just spent far too long reliving old Tim Tam ads on youtube.) I wish the essays were a little more like Tim Tams in other ways, though. Wouldn’t mind as much if they were coated in chocolate with a sweet cocoa-based cream inside.
This humble-looking packet encompassed caramel popcorn, caramel chex cereal, chocolate chex cereal, honey roasted peanuts, milk chocolate candies, and pretzels. How can it be wrong when it tastes so right?
5. Any free chocolate is good chocolate, particularly if it means I get to write fun not-necessarily-laudatory chocolate reviews. Translation: here’s a glimpse of the $50 of chocolate I recently won via a blog competition.
*rubs hands together in a paroxysm of glee*
Anyone interested in a Cadbury review post written entirely in haiku, limerick, or rhyming couplet form? Let me know in the comments, and I just might deliver!
This photo somewhat belies the title of this post, as I haven't eaten many of these yet (much less a long time ago). Forgive me?
6. One of my favourite parts of the week is having lunch with the lecturer and other tutors for the course I teach in. Yesterday, we were laughing so hard that the lecturer made some sort of strange honking noise, and then had tears in his eyes. Sure, a large part of that revolved around laughing at me rather than with me, but another part was related to Monty Python, so it wasn’t all bad. And, really, it’s probably clear by now that I don’t mind amusing people at my own expense. (See points 2 and 3 above).
I couldn't not post this, what with Point Number 7 and all...
7. Is there a greater feeling that engaging in banter with your brother about which of you would make the better hooker? I think not.
8. Actually, there might be. I was Facebook-messaging with another friend last night (an Australian whom I met in Washington, DC) and he said something to me which just might be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. To wit:
“98% of the time I’ve seen you in person, you’ve had a plastic bag wrapped around your foot. What part of that is not a fiery ball of pure wild dripping sexuality?”
(For those of you new to this blog, I’ve been embroiled in an 18-month-long-still-going-strong Toe Saga. This led to me traipsing around America and Europe for four months in the dead of winter wearing socks, Birkenstocks and, at the first hint of rain or snow, a plastic bag on my left foot. I always thought this made me look like a right royal unfashionable nincompoop… (Oh, and this Toe Saga also saw me end up in a hospital in Paris, but I’d much prefer to remember other things about the City of Lights. Like macarons.)
So. Very. Very. Delicious. Sadly, in 2007 I didn't have a blog, therefore I didn't take better photos of this. But I did eat the entire carton in one day, so, you know. Some things never change.
Here endeth today’s assortment of random thoughts and eats.
Question Time: Has anyone said something to you lately that was either a) an unambiguous compliment, or b) actually a complete joke, but made you laugh and feel better about yourself anyway? (No prizes for guessing which of these categories the above quote falls into.)
ARHH I was reading this post getting all flustered and frantic because I had something to say about EVERY component of it, and I’m trying desperately to remember them all…AGHEIHDIU
Here goes.. before they all totally leave my brain…In no particular order -
- you’ve inspired me to take the plunge and order the turtle chex mix from USAfoods. I’ve been toying with the idea for a while, and you’ve just pushed me over the edge.
- butter-ANYTHING is fantastic. I WANT BUTTER-GRITS. And I want that to be my slightly sexual-sounding nickname. Kinda like ‘Sugar Lips’ or something.
- my cleavage (minimal though it is) is an absolute FIEND for stealing my food. I’m forever finding chips, popcorn, cereal, chocolate and breadcrumbs down there. The other night I was getting changed before bed, and found THREE APPLE SEEDS AND HALF A TINY TEDDY (more like 3/4… it was just missing its arms and one leg). How I don’t notice this during the day, I will never know… they’re almost always POINTY things, too.
- Handbag peanut butter is a must. But I hope you have minimal inexplicable sad moments, and therefore don’t have to use it often (but peanut butter is remarkably versatile… it can be both a comfort and a celebration food).
- THOSE TRADER JOES NUTS WERE SO GOODDDDDD.
- Angus gave me a great ridiculous compliment last night… ‘When my packages of surprise muesli arrived today, I loved you so much. I loved you as much as it is possible to love somebody without being violently ill. Loving you makes me feel like vomiting.’
….oh, good. I’ve been told I have that effect on men :\
1. I tried a great many varieties of Chex Mix when I was overseas, and some were definitely better than others. I think this one was okay
2. I’ll call you Butter Grits from now on, if you really want me to.
3. Thank god I’m not alone in this! I’ve also been finding peas there lately.
4. Thanks love
5. Oooh, did I bring you those? I’d forgotten that!! Go me!
6. You and Angus are so very much meant to be together.
WTF is a grit?
And give me those chocolate blacks. We could have a horrendous time in the UC library. Like, now. yeah kthxbai
Sorry I couldn’t deliver, love! I hope you survived okay… And grits are dried ground hominy, I believe, which is a form of corn. Or something to that effect. It’s kinda like polenta, but not. Americans, help me out here!
My lap has been winning the gravitational pull of foods lately, beating out my cleavage which has been enjoying the lion’s share of miscellaneous foodstuffs for far too long.
Oh god, marking! If it weren’t for you, I would forget about my responsibilities entirely. I have at least printed them all off, written the names on the ones that the students were too foolish to write their own names on, and stapled them together. A great start, no?
I want to know who they are quoting on the crab chip packaging.
*laughs and laughs* Oh, grammatical jokes. They get me every time.
I’m totally your Marking Conscience. The Good Marking Angel on your shoulder. Therefore I deserve at least a third of your pay. WOOT.
I’m with Conor – my lap has always exerted a strong gravitational pull when food is around.
Not just once have I left the cinema, blinking at the bright glaring sunshine, not yet aware that huge gobs of melted choc top are on my crotch, amusing passersby….
I would like to do an experiment with us sitting side by side, and someone eating a choc bomb directly above where our laps intersect to see whose lap has a stronger gravitational pull. In fact, we could get Hannah’s cleavage in there too!
I can’t help thinking that the image of me crouched down in a darkened movie theatre with my cleavage at knee level to you both is a VERY VERY WRONG ONE INDEED.
Plus, I’m a sociologist. I don’t really believe in this “gravity” you speak of.
peanut butter in handbag sounds like a great idea.
Possibly my best idea to date
i sometimes carry nutella sachets in my handbag…
A woman after my own heart
This reminds me, I actually have two little sample packets of maple almond butter from the US. Into the handbag!
Lol well someone once told me that I knew a wholenlot of really random information! I took it as a compliment but I don’t know if he meant it as one
We can construct the world as we see fit, so it you believe that was a compliment, then it was! Random information is gold in my opinion
GRITS!! I have a dearly beloved, Quaker grits cardboard tube in my cupboard that is going to be enjoyed very slowly.
Ah, butter flavour. Almost as good as the liquid butter sauce you can squirt onto your popcorn at the movies in the US.
I want those crab chips!! That is something to hunt down for sure!
That’s what I was like with my jar of Cookie Dough Peanut Butter from the States… eking it out sooooo slowly!
I think we can probably order grits from USA Foods in Melbourne, though?
Oh, gosh, liquid butter and all the seasoned salt shakers at US cinemas. Mond-boggling!
And hmm… this might be the only time you can legitimately say “I want the crabs! Someone give me the crab kind!”
Things that make me go hmmmm- Butter Flavour. Um, no thanks. That stuff is so toxic that it can kill factory workers making microwave popcorn. I’m not wanting to be going anywhere near that (not that I really did before I knew about this either) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bronchiolitis_obliterans
And what the hell is that chex turtle stuff? OMG is that actually supposed to be a cereal? No way. But they have stylised milk at the bottom of the packet. I see it comes in a bar with “health” claims. Can anyone really be fooled by the fact that it has “8 grams of whole grains”. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not all bah humbug and I love turtle flavour as much as the next person, but breakfast cereals aren’t supposed to be turtle.
http://www.chex.com/snacks/ProductView2.aspx?id=19
The chocolate almonds though- now they interest me. I haven’t tried any of the bubbly stuff. I’m old enough to remember Aero bars, and I figure it’ll just be a wannabe Aero, that won’t live up to childhood memories.
Calm, Louise, calm! Chex Mix isn’t cereal (though the chex parts are), it’s most certainly a snack food. However, Cookie Crisp is cereal, as is Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and Lucky Charms, and Count Chocula, so really this isn’t much of a defense…
I’ll let you know what I think of the Bubbly as soon as I’ve tried it! I don’t remember being that keen on Aeros, so we’ll have to see what happens…
I’d be impressed if you wrote an entire post on your cadbury chocolates in a villanelle – it is my ultimate in poetry form after being told by a tutor that this was what sylvia plath practiced.
As for the granola in the bra – I hope you are not taking me up on the suggestion of growing grains in your bra to sell at farmers markets. I take no responsibility for EHS issues
*laughs* Ooh, I hadn’t made that connection. You’re far cleverer than I! Though now that you mention it, I wouldn’t mind some extra income…
Oh heavens, I think an entire post as a villanelle might be beyond me. I’m far, far better at more novelty-like forms of poetry, rather than the serious kind!
My kitchen floor is my gravitational pull. Seriously, something ends up on the floor every single day.
Ten second rule!
I feel we need to do a blogger-survey of gravitational pulls…
1. YES. Total agreement from me.
2. Hehe! My cleavage is a particularly big fan of chocolate chips.
3. Minty fresh…hrm =/
4. I don’t know who Tim Tam is…
5. What a haul! Ironic, though, that it’s Cadbury
6. Great attitude! Better than mine…I can be a little touchy about people (people I don’t know very well, at least) laughing AT me (unless I’m laughing at me too).
7. I’m so jealous you have a friendly sibling!
8. That is awesome. I don’t even know that guy, and I love him.
Oh, and if you want to know more, he’s A.ActuarialSpy from the DC Spy Museum post!
Now, wait just a second – I’m ALMOST vegan, you know
What do those Tim Tams have in them that’s not vegan? Milk, egg, whey? Bring it on!
Oh, and how embarrassing I thought “Tim Tam” was a person!… =X
Oh gosh, not at all! I’m just used to ‘most everyone, particularly Americans, knowing about Tim Tams! With my sentence construction and the name, it makes sense that you’d think they were a person. I can’t help giggling, though
I’m going to look out for some snack-sized Tim Tams then. I’m sure they exist – my Mum sent them in a bloggie swap to someone once
ha, now that would be a good idea to just start carrying pb around everywhere!
I think we should start a secret club of people who do precisely that
Peanut butter in the handbag….just brilliant. That way while your walking around during the day if you stumble across celery you always have its natural condiment!
Food in boobs, it should be a recognised medical condition. Its genetic you know, if seen my mum carry whole chicken wings on hers. Handy if you get hungry later.
Ps. I vote for haiku
Oh my heavens, your second comment made me laugh out loud! Your poor, or else very clever, mum… And hmm, do you think we could talk to the Australian Medical Association about this?
Also, I appreciate your worldview, but I personally don’t like anything as healthy as celery to be getting near my peanut butter
mmmm me wanty some crab chips!
I’m voting limerick
Hmm, one vote for haiku and another for limerick… I definitely have enough Cadbury for both, though!
Might start with the haiku as there’s already one limerick chocolate review on this blog!
Must. Have. Turtle Chex Mix. Now.
Last night, I was somehow captured on camera wearing a snuggie at a birthday party. Perhaps you saw it. For some odd reason, I’m flattered that it’s my picture that made it on the Internet. (Everyone at the party tried on the snuggie at some point.)
Oh, quiet you. Just pop out to Ble Sucre or Hugo et Victor and I’m sure Turtle Chex Mix will be the last thing on your mind
(Mont Blanc…. I want more Mont Blanc…)
AAAH! Where is this photo? Facebook? Perhaps it was one of those “only friends of the photographer” can see it photos? (In all honesty? I think I’d like a snuggie. I do so hate the cold.)
It was posted on David Lebovitz’ Twitter feed, which I can see on Facebook. It’s a little blurry.
toothpaste on noses have been know to happen, perfectly normal
Now pass me the Trader Joes dark chocolate almonds now…, its been ages.
You always know how to make me feel less silly
However, I must admit… even if I still had any of these almonds on hand, I wouldn’t share 
Some of those look very disturbing haha. And you’re not alone, whenever I get chocolate covered fruits from Trader Joes, I always end up scarving it all down in one day. It’s a problem, I’m well aware. And I loooooove that Turtle Chex mix. No shame in it for me haha.
Have you ever had the chocolate covered edamame from Trader Joe’s? One of my biggest regrets in life is never getting around to buying those *sob*
And you’re so right… Chex Mix is kinda awesome.