It was inevitable, really.
But first, some background: I’m not usually someone who gets a big head about things. In fact, this blog has been a steep learning curve in terms of my accepting when people emit nice sentences in my direction. I’m used to shrugging such words off and instead making a joke that is utterly irrelevant to whatever was said, in the hopes of precluding any further uncomfortable compliment-tinged scenarios.
There’s even a video recording of a time when I had to be up on stage whilst certain things were mentioned and applause happened… and heavens, people. I hate that video. I look so miserable and uncomfortable up there – like I want to disappear into nothingness.
So, yes. On the whole, I have a very strong awareness of my overall insignificance in this world.
But I have to admit that, over the past week, I started to have this niggling suspicion that I was, perhaps, maybe, just a little bit, maybe, a Chocolate Overlord of Chocolate Magnificence.
First, I found out that I won $50 worth of Cadbury chocolate via Jeroxie’s blog competition. (Expect reviews.)
Then the lovely L.LadyLawyer slipped me, in the midst of a two-hour epic story-telling catch-up session, five (count ‘em!) bars of 99% Lindt. (Expect reviews.)
And then on that very same L.LawyerLady day, I went to the Old Bus Depot Markets to catch up with Heidi, my beloved Curious Chocolatier, who had hinted to me that a new chocolate bar was in the offing.
Readers, friends, darling fellow-chocoholics… I have *such* a treat in store for you.
Four (count ‘em!) entirely new, never-before-released, utterly innovative chocolate bars. Seriously. Innovative. And deeply, deeply exciting, for reasons that will become clear (and are relevant) to you, when I review them on this blog.
Thank you, Heidi. And thank you for the two mango and white chocolate macarons that you also slipped into my bag after our much-enjoyed hour chat. I cannot express my joy, surprise, and gratitude at your generosity.
Honestly, readers, if you were me and had received nine chocolate bars in one day, news of $50-worth more coming your way, plus has found chocolate packages from L-squared, The Hungry Scholar, and T.CheeseFarmerLegend in the past 6 weeks in your letterbox…
Surely you would also start speculating that this world truly is a Chocolate World, and that you are its queen.
Here’s why you shouldn’t think that, though.
Because if you do, you might just find yourself walking away from the markets with a jaunty-spring in your step and nine chocolate bars in your handbag, and then you might just find your foot catching on a metal pole running perpendicular to the ground.
You might just hear someone yell “Watch out!”, and you might just take one, two, three desperate semi-leaps in an attempt to regain your balance. You might, though, not regain your balance, and might instead absolutely faceplant on the gravel in front of at least 20 people.
And then you might remember that you aren’t a Chocolate Overlord at all. In fact, you’re a bit of a Nincompoop. Because, after all:
Chocolate Pride Goeth Before The Fall.