Peanut Butter Granola, or What America Does Better Than Australia

Peanut Butter Granola with Cardamom

Despite being a born-and-bred Aussie, I have to admit that there are certain things that America does better than Australia. (In my humble opinion, that is.)

These include:

  1. Theme Parks. (Dear The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, one day you and I shall be as one.)
  2. Flavouring everything and anything with peanut butter and/or bacon.
  3. Holding onto the belief that even the most inane local news ought to trump significant international events. (Dear CNN during late 2007, I shall never stop laughing at you for incessantly covering an American high school teacher’s affair with her student throughout the weekend in which Australia experienced a complete change in federal government. I had to wait three days for internet access in order to find out John Howard had finally been deposed.)
  4. Breeding an army of pointless and physically indistinguishable starlets (Dear Vanessa Hudgens and Jessica Szohr, I honestly can’t tell you apart. Same goes for you, Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato. Dear Myself: I wish I didn’t even know those names.)
  5. Granola.

Oh, granola. Why is Australian muesli such a paltry, insipid, and lacklustre shadow of your magnificence?

Oh, right. I remember now. You, granola, involve deliciously high levels of fat and sugar along with a necessary toasting process, whereas you, muesli, often skate over the line into lame-o “health” with your non-clumpy rawness and lack of flavours that go pop-de-pop-bop-pop.

Peanut Butter Granola with Cardamom

Well, folks, I’m here to rectify Australia’s sore lack of awesome pop-de-pop-bop-pop granolas. For myself, first and foremost, but for you too. You only need recreate the below and future granola recipes to experience your own little slice of Granola-Is-Not-Muesli Heaven.

Particularly because, in fit of womanly multi-tasking, I decided to hit two birds with one stone and combine #2 and #5 from the above list. I present to you: Peanut Butter Granola.

This was my first time making granola and, golly gosh, was I ever pleased with the result. A few things to keep in mind if you plan on making this, though. I purposely kept mine not-too-sweet, so if you prefer a bigger wallop of sweetness, I recommend going for the 3 tablespoons (60ml) of sweetener, or perhaps even 80ml. Or you could stir in some dried cherries, craisins, dates, or raisins at the end, for a fruitier sugar hit.

Peanut BUtter Granola with Cardamom

Also, the cardamom was mostly unnoticeable in my batch, so when I make this again I’m going to double the amount to 1/2 tsp. If you aren’t a fan of cardamom, simply leave it out, or replace it with cinnamon.

Those of you who, like me, enjoy finding ways to fit peanut butter into every meal… this recipe is for you. I sprinkled the granola over maple-sweetened yoghurt and over oatmeal, but mostly I ate it straight. Over the course of two days.

(This peanut butter granola is almost as good as the granola I made yesterday, which was oh dear holy bucket one of the most amazing things I’ve ever created off the top of my head ever really hyperbole hyperbole! But you’ll have to wait for that recipe. Teehee.)

Peanut Butter Granola with Cardamom

Bovetti Milk Chocolate with Caramel and Fleur de Sel

Dear everyone: thank you. After reading your comments on yesterday’s post, it seems that while I may not be ready to tempt fate by calling myself a Chocolate Overlord, I could possibly get away with positioning myself as a Chocolate Minion.

I’m probably more comfortable being a Minion, anyway. I reckon no one would notice if a Minion ate an entire batch of peanut butter slice in two days, whereas an Overlord might get in trouble for promoting Excessive Nut Mastication.

(Get your minds out of the gutter, people. That means chewing. And yes, Amber, I’m looking at you).

Another thing a Chocolate Minion can safely do is review the following chocolate. Because, erm, Minions can always read French. Yep. Segue brilliance, right?

Bovetti Milk Chocolate with Caramel and Fleur de Sel

Bovetti Milk Chocolate with Caramel and Fleur de Sel

So far on this blog, I’ve reviewed Bovetti’s Dark Chocolate with Espelette Peppers and White Chocolate with Raspberry Sugar. I enjoyed both of these rather disparate chocolates, and so felt it was time to see how Bovetti fared with milk chocolate. Seeing as I rather love the combination of chocolate and salt, this 38% blend with its sparkly jewel-like caramel shards and fleur de sel seemed just the ticket.

I have three words for Bovetti, first and foremost: Consistently Gorgeous Aesthetics. Visually, this chocolate was puuurty, and the aroma contributed to my positive expectations with its strong caramel and sweetened condensed milk notes threaded through with mild cocoa.

Bovetti Milk Chocolate with Caramel and Fleur de Sel

Unfortunately, this Bovetti Milk Chocolate with Caramel and Fleur de Sel didn’t live up in taste to what it promised in aroma. The chocolate did have some sweetened cream notes, but in all honesty it reminded me of little more than bog-standard Cadbury Dairy Milk (which this blog is likely see a lot of in the near future, what with my winning that Cadbury competition and all).

The caramel pieces were chewy rather than crispy and maybe, if I stretched really far and almost popped my arm out of its socket, could be said to taste like the opaque Milk Bottle lollies sold at yesteryear corner stores. I never liked those lollies, though, so I wasn’t terribly enthused by the taste memory.

Bovetti Milk Chocolate with Caramel and Fleur de Sel

The biggest disappointment in regards to this chocolate was the Fleur de Sel. Or, as I like to say, the Fleur de Nil. (Oh yes. I just made an incredibly lame pun. You know you love it.) There was absolutely no flicker of salt to be found whilst eating this chocolate, and subsequently no accentuation of the chocolate or caramel flavours.

Give me true salted caramel and I’m putty in your hands, Bovetti. Lie to me and say you’re giving me salted caramel, but instead give me rather insipid one-note sweetness?

Well, Bovetti. I think we all know what happens when you do that. I become a Cranky Chocolate Minion, and I tell everyone that I’d never willingly buy this again.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a Chocolate Overlord’s shoes to polish.

Question Time: What’s your favourite lame-o pun?

Not The Chocolate Overlord Of All Things Chocolate

It was inevitable, really.

But first, some background: I’m not usually someone who gets a big head about things. In fact, this blog has been a steep learning curve in terms of my accepting when people emit nice sentences in my direction. I’m used to shrugging such words off and instead making a joke that is utterly irrelevant to whatever was said, in the hopes of precluding any further uncomfortable compliment-tinged scenarios.

There’s even a video recording of a time when I had to be up on stage whilst certain things were mentioned and applause happened… and heavens, people. I hate that video. I look so miserable and uncomfortable up there – like I want to disappear into nothingness.

So, yes. On the whole, I have a very strong awareness of my overall insignificance in this world.

But I have to admit that, over the past week, I started to have this niggling suspicion that I was, perhaps, maybe, just a little bit, maybe, a Chocolate Overlord of Chocolate Magnificence.

First, I found out that I won $50 worth of Cadbury chocolate via Jeroxie’s blog competition. (Expect reviews.)

Then the lovely L.LadyLawyer slipped me, in the midst of a two-hour epic story-telling catch-up session, five (count ‘em!) bars of 99% Lindt. (Expect reviews.)

Lindt 99%

And then on that very same L.LawyerLady day, I went to the Old Bus Depot Markets to catch up with Heidi, my beloved Curious Chocolatier, who had hinted to me that a new chocolate bar was in the offing.

Readers, friends, darling fellow-chocoholics… I have *such* a treat in store for you.

The Curious Chocolatier

Four (count ‘em!) entirely new, never-before-released, utterly innovative chocolate bars. Seriously. Innovative. And deeply, deeply exciting, for reasons that will become clear (and are relevant) to you, when I review them on this blog.

Thank you, Heidi. And thank you for the two mango and white chocolate macarons that you also slipped into my bag after our much-enjoyed hour chat. I cannot express my joy, surprise, and gratitude at your generosity.

Mango White Chocolate Macarons Curious Chocolatier

Honestly, readers, if you were me and had received nine chocolate bars in one day, news of $50-worth more coming your way, plus has found chocolate packages from L-squared, The Hungry Scholar, and T.CheeseFarmerLegend in the past 6 weeks in your letterbox…

Surely you would also start speculating that this world truly is a Chocolate World, and that you are its queen.

Here’s why you shouldn’t think that, though.

Mango White Chocolate Macarons Curious Chocolatier

Because if you do, you might just find yourself walking away from the markets with a jaunty-spring in your step and nine chocolate bars in your handbag, and then you might just find your foot catching on a metal pole running perpendicular to the ground.

You might just hear someone yell “Watch out!”, and you might just take one, two, three desperate semi-leaps in an attempt to regain your balance. You might, though, not regain your balance, and might instead absolutely faceplant on the gravel in front of at least 20 people.

And then you might remember that you aren’t a Chocolate Overlord at all. In fact, you’re a bit of a Nincompoop. Because, after all:

Chocolate Pride Goeth Before The Fall.

Ouch.

Berkshire Bark Jumpin’ Java™

It appears that I can, at times, be an itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka bit predictable.

For example, whenever I climb a tree, the odds are I’ll get stuck.

Or if you take me to a gelataria, I’m almost certainly going to want to taste the pistachio flavour.

And, sometimes, when faced with a multitude of different treats created by one chocolate company, I’ll end up buying the two that are almost identical.

Berkshire Bark Jumpin’ Java™

Berkshire Bark Jumpin’ Java™

Berkshire Bark offers six different chocolate bars, most of which employ radically different ingredients. Dried fruits, spices, pretzels (in my defense, I never once saw the pretzological bar during my travels)… ostensibly, there should be something for everyone. And, y’know, ostensibly, enough variation to ensure that a chocolate blogger could pick and showcase two vastly different flavours.

The first Berkshire Bark I bought and reviewed was the Mocha Buzz, which was comprised of milk chocolate, roasted almonds, caramel, dark chocolate, crushed coffee beans, and cacao nibs.

Today, I’m bringing you the Jumpin’ Java™, which is made of dark chocolate, roasted almonds, espresso toffee, caramelised cocoa nibs, and crushed coffee beans.

I spy with my little eye… almost no difference between the two.

Whoops.

Berkshire Bark Jumpin’ Java™

You might remember that I described Berkshire Bark’s Mocha Buzz as a well-meaning hodge-podge of sugar and textures bound together with nondescript chocolate. Some bites were delightful, and other bites were dull in their one-note sweetness. This Jumpin’ Java (I refuse to put the trade-mark symbol in anymore; Berkshire Bark is lucky I’m still deigning to cut off the “g” in “Jumping”) chocolate did fare better, but not because the underlying issues in the Mocha Buzz bar had been resolved.

No, the same problem of too-many disparate (and at times insipid) ingredients remained in the Jumpin’ Java. Luckily, the coffee beans shone through here with enough of a permeating espresso essence to create pleasantness. Not super-pleasantness, mind you, but enough pleasantness to distract me from writing anything too terrible in this review.

Berkshire Bark Jumpin Java

From the moment of unwrapping, this Jumpin’ Java chocolate emanated pure, clear coffee tinged with chocolate. My first bite managed to capture one of the plentiful whole roasted almonds, all of which were consistently crisp and sweet-nutty in flavour.

The pervading taste of this chocolate, though, was of good-quality chocolate-coated coffee beans. The kind that aren’t burnt or acidic, and which crumble rather than splinter in your mouth. I really enjoyed this aspect of the Jumpin Java, but sadly not everything in the bar was equally pleasant.

The caramelised nibs, for example, were all but pointless. I could see them on top of the bar, but they contributed nothing flavour-wise. Similarly, the espresso toffee was clearly present throughout the chocolate (see second photo), but it provided no espresso, caramel, or even “toffee” flavours – it tasted simply of caster sugar. The textural crunchy-crumbliness was fun, though.

Berkshire Bark Jumpin Java

The chocolate itself was generically sweet and, once again, I couldn’t find any distinction between the dark and milk chocolates listed in the ingredients. Overall, the bar was pleasant and inoffensive, but it could’ve been so much better. With a stronger hit of nibs and some buttery caramel notes in the toffee, the Jumpin’ Java could have been something special rather than something a bit mediocre.

I can also imagine the Jumpin’ Java chocolate sitting in an aisle of Whole Foods, looking at the Mocha Buzz and thinking the following:

There but for the grace of coffee, go I.

4-Ingredient Vegan Not-Nutella Brownie Bites

Have you heard of labelling theory? It was developed by sociologist Howard S. Becker, has roots in symbolic interactionism and, in a nutshell, describes how people who are labelled in a certain way [often] become what they were labelled. It is most often used in conjunction with the study of deviance (as both a social issue and social construct), but can be applied to other situations and interactions as well.

So, Camille? This post is down to you and, more specifically, a certain little comment you made a few days ago. You implied I have an irresistable urge to de-animal-product my baked goods, and I’ll be darned if you didn’t make me believe the same thing too.

Vegan Not-Nutella Brownie Bites

See, I came across this recipe for 4-ingredient Nutella brownies, and yet all I could hear in my mind was Camille’s patisserie-goddess voice teasing me with her veganising (oh, dear me, I just typed that word with some of the vowels in the wrong order, and the entire post started to have a radically different meaning) reference. Knowing Camille’s love of Real Cream and Butter as I do, this taunt was like a red flag, and so I darted out to the shops to buy a vegan Nutella replacement and more ground flax seeds.

Camille? You know I love you… but bring it on.

Vegan Not-Nutella Brownie Bites

I think my veganising worked. At least, I liked what I created, but those who have a super-sweet tooth (as opposed to a savoury-spicy-crazy-flavours sweet tooth like me) might like to add some extra sweetener to the recipe below. My guess is Nutella is higher in sugar than the Sweet William Chocolate Spread I used, although on its own I find the Sweet William spread quite rich and sweet. (Have I been making mega-sandwiches filled with chocolate spread and peanut butter chips? I refuse to say.)

The original recipe used chopped hazelnuts as the fourth ingredient, but I used chilli powder because I’m into having a bit of heat in my life. The mixture was also very dry (presumably because I replaced the egg with flaxmeal), and so I rolled it into brownie-bite-balls rather than dolloping it in mini muffin cases.

Yet even with all my changes, the treats came out chocolate-y, a little bit spicy, and definitely moist and brownie-like inside. Hurrah indeed.

The brownie bites also tasted even more scrumptious when joined together with a healthy dose of crunchy peanut butter, but unfortunately I have no photos of that. Some moments are just too deliciously fleeting to photograph.

Vegan Not-Nutella Brownie Bites

Question Time: Has anyone else tried this Sweet William chocolate spread? If so, what do you think of it?