Monthly Archives: May 2010

From the Mouths of Statue Babes (in Florence)

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Once upon a time, I very generously shared with you the inner monologues of four female portraits. You’ve all heard of horse whisperers, and dog whisperers, and even baby whisperers, right? Well, I guess my secret is out. I’m an Art Whisperer.

And because you can’t keep a good Art Whisperer down, today I’m bringing you the inner thoughts of several statues abiding in Florence. Buckle up, folks, it just might be a bumpy (i.e. cranky) ride.

This is not what I signed up for. I was promised eternal glory and throngs of admiring tourists for centuries on end. Where was the small print about avian faeces on my head? I am not okay with this. There are Faeces. Congealing. On. My. Head.

Florence statue

Amen, brother. Amen.

Standing Man: Get a look at this, Twi-Hards. You think your Jacob has abs of glory? I CREATED abs of glory. / Crouching Man: Don't look up. Don't look up. I must not ever look up.

Gallerie dell'Academica Statue

Speaking of Twilight, does anyone else think I look like Robert Pattinson during the filming of New Moon, when the film-makers were preparing my body for the (ridiculous-looking) sparkly special effects?

For those who don’t know instinctively what I’m referring to (lucky you), see this photo of Robert Pattinson*.

Statues in front: Come join us! We’re playing Human Jenga, and it’s super fun! Sure, it looks like we’re in pain, but whoever falls off first has to tell everyone who their first kiss was. Oh, what fun! / Statues behind: Oh, we is just playin’ too. Uh-huh. Playin’ with the big hurty beating stick. Yes siree!

Florence Lion Statue

My ball. My ball my ball my ball! Myyyyyyyy ball. My ball. My ball! (Editor’s note: Also known as “Why Simba Should Have Said No To Hard Drugs”)

Candy Mountain, Charlie! Chaaaaarlie... We’re going to Candy Mountain! ...Shun the non-believer...

* Want to know how I feel after posting that link? Unclean. UNCLEAN. It’s like I’m feeding the Twilight monster. And yet… Robert Pattinson is currently filming Water for Elephants, which is the best book I’ve read this year. Dear everyone, I am conflicted inside.

The Boathouse Might Be Good, But My Family Is Even Gooderer.

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Having already chatted about the lunch celebration my Mum and I hosted for my Grandpa on his 90th birthday, it seems only fitting that I tell you about his birthday dinner at The Boathouse By The Lake, one of Canberra’s fancier restaurants.

I must admit that I found the food this year a little less spectacular in innovation and execution than it has been in the past. Still, it was tasty, and more importantly the night itself was buckets of fun. I haven’t laughed so hard in yonks, and throughout the night I kept thinking how lucky I was/am to have such a fantastic family.

I’m here sharing not only some of the night’s dishes, but a few of its moments of giggling too. My hope is at least something in here makes you smile.

The Boathouse Saffron and Mussel Soup, Amaretto Sorbet

The freebies: an amuse bouche of Saffron and Mussel Soup, and a palate cleanser of Amaretto Sorbet. My soup was a vibrant orange whereas my neighbour’s was a lovely creamy colour. I think hers was the ‘right’ way, for mine tasted simply like melted butter with some chilli. The Amaretto Sorbet was a bit too sweet for a palate cleanser, so my Dad valiantly finished off about four of them. Bravo, good sir!

Conversational Tidbit #1 (en route to restaurant):

Me: What’s a Chef de Commis? Am I pronouncing it right? [i.e. "commie"]
The Brother/E.TeacherLord: The communist chef.
Me: Ah, so I guess they make all the red sauces.
The Brother/E.TeacherLord: [spreading his arms wide] And then hand them out to everyone!
[pause]
Me: And then eat your babies.

The Boathouse Oysters with Salmon Roe and Mirin Dressing

My entree: Nine Coffin Bay Oysters with Ginger and Mirin Dressing, Yarra Valley Salmon Caviar. I religiously order natural oysters in fancy restaurants.

Conversational Tidbit # 2 [en route to restaurant]:

Me: I think I should have worn my contacts. Everything’s really blurry.
Mum: Why on earth didn’t you?
Me: Well, I got excited because, as I wasn’t driving, I didn’t need to wear my glasses. I didn’t think to put on the contacts.
The Brother/E.TeacherLord: But you just said everything’s blurry.
Me: Exactly! I was excited by not wearing glasses and I forgot that I can’t see.

The Boathouse Blue Cheese Ravioli

My main: Gippsland Shadows of Blue Cheese Ravioli, Caramelised Onion and Spiced Beetroot Salad, Kardinia Riesling Foam. This was, without a doubt, my favourite dish of the night. I have an anti-foam stance, but this version truly tasted like Riesling and played beautifully with the ultra creamy (albeit mild) blue cheese ravioli filling and the sweet beetroot relish. The highlight of the night, foodwise.

The Boathouse Crispy Skinned Salmon

My dear seat-neighbour’s Crispy Skinned Tasmanian Salmon Fillet on Avocado, Pinenut, Roast Capsicum, Sweetcorn & Rocket Salad, Mango Aioli. She quite liked the salmon, but the salad beneath suffered from the restaurant’s tendency to over-sweeten some of its savoury dishes.

To showcase how absolutely awesome my grandpa is, I’d like to share with you some of the 20 quotes he handpicked for us to read aloud throughout the night. You might be inclined to think that a 90-year-old choosing quotes for his relatives to read out on his birthday would opt for emotional, Hallmark-esque platitudes.

In that case, you don’t know my family.

Words of Wisdom Chosen by my 90-year-old Grandpa

Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.  (Charlotte Whitton, 1896-1978)

Never try to keep up with the Joneses … drag them down to your level.  (Quentin Crisp, 1908-99)

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars – the rest I just squandered. (Geo Best 1946/2005, Irish soccer player, who died of liver failure aged 59)

Logic will take you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere. (Einstein)

The Boathouse Kobe Beef

My uncle’s Kobe Beef Fillet on Sautéed Garlic Desiree Potatoes, Lyonnais Onion, Parsley Coulis, Red Wine Jus, Shaved Foie Gras (Marble Score 9)

Conversational Tidbit #3 [returning from restaurant]:

Me: I actually wanted to order the venison entree, but my conscience wouldn’t let me because of the foie gras that came with it.
Mum: Me too. I felt too guilty to order it, so I got the kingfish ceviche instead. Foie gras’ production is horrible.
Me: I know. I couldn’t order it, even though I wanted the chocolate sauce and sesame puree it was served with.
Mum: Oh… I wanted the foie gras.

The Boathouse Valhrona Souffle

My dessert: Valhrona Chocolate Soufflé, Pistachio Ice‐cream and Feuilletine.

Camille, remember how I thanked you for showing me that chocolate-based treats can be fantastic? I am tempted to take that back. Because of your influence, I went against my anti-chocolate-dessert instincts and ordered the chocolate souffle.

Never again. This was not at all good, as the souffle tasted of nothing but egginess and sugar. Funnily enough, it was the only dessert to make the rounds of the table and be tasted by almost everyone, the majority of whom confirmed my opinion. Boathouse By The Lake? I know what Valhrona should taste like. Not only have I blogged about it, but I’ve eaten most of its range and have several favourites in my stash at the moment. Valrhona is rich, and deeply chocolatey, and this souffle wasn’t. At least the ice-cream was serviceable, and the cookie crumbs the ice-cream was served on were nicely buttery. Still, next time I’ll go with my gut and order the cheese plate. That, my friends, was tasty (I stole some from my dad). Apparently the passionfruit tart was pretty good too…

The Boathouse Passionfruit Curd Tart

Passionfruit Curd Tart, Crème Fraiche, Coconut Shard.

The Blue Cheese Ravioli truly was stunning, though, and nothing could dampen what was a joyous night.

I think I’ll end this rather long post by co-opting the language of Generation Whatever-Is-Below-Mine…

I heart you all, my family.

TCHO Nutty 2.0

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Back in April, I reviewed TCHO’s Nutty chocolate. I was initially confused by and ultimately averse to the bar, as for the first time in my chocolate-tasting life I found myself confronted with too-strong flavours of cast iron, cardboard, and wood lacquer. I was really disappointed by this, as I felt the chocolate had potential yet overshot its flavour-marks to an unpleasant degree.

Soon after posting my review, I received an email from Cash Shurley, TCHO’s IT Director, thanking me for my thoughts and offering me samples of the reformulated Nutty and Fruity chocolates. At first it seemed like the universe was not on my side, for after replying in the affirmative I was told that TCHO couldn’t actually send the chocolate overseas. Thank heavens for a generous American friend of mine, who was able to act as a chocolate middle-[wo]man. The upshot of such generosity (on the part of both TCHO and my friend) was that, on my 23rd birthday, I became the recipient of a delightful and exciting package of TCHO chocolate goodies*.

I was expecting simply two sample-sized bars of chocolate, so imagine my surprise when I opened the package to find:

TCHO chocolate

Happy happy joy joy.

While I was tempted to dig into everything at once, I decided that the proper thing to do would be to review the new Nutty chocolate first. Mind you, I unwrapped the little fella with no small amount of trepidation. You see, I pride myself on being utterly honest when it comes to chocolate. Therefore while this bar came to me free-of-charge, I absolutely wasn’t going to give it a positive rap simply for that reason. I feared having to talk ill of TCHO all over again.

TCHO Nutty 2.0

TCHO Nutty 2.0

The packaging hasn't changed, which I'm pleased about. I quite like TCHO's look.

I have to get one thing off my chest, and it has nothing to do with chocolate. Every time I see the Nutty 2.0 name, I can’t help thinking of the iSnack 2.0 debacle, which as an Australian was a very upsetting moment in history for me (actually, I just found it all hilarious). But putting that thought aside so as to taste the chocolate free of bias, I have decided that TCHO’s reformulated Nutty bar is…

A winner.

Yes, I’m relieved to say that the Nutty 2.0 has managed to tone down the most aggressive and unappealing notes of the original Nutty bar, whilst retaining enough of said original’s unique flavours to ensure the bar is a fascinating example of chocolate diversity.

TCHO Nutty 2.0

Swirly swirly.

Like the first Nutty bar, this chocolate has an appealingly rich aroma of dark and earthy chocolate, with strong malt notes sneaking in along the way.

The chocolate is strong and intense without being bitter, as there’s a goodly helping of sweetness to balance out the bar’s peat and cocoa powder flavours. In terms of nuttiness, I picked up some walnut, but what I was most impressed with was that this chocolate had none of the unpleasant cast iron notes of the former yet still offered up hints of fresh wood and wood lacquer. Somehow the notes of peat and lacquer are subtle enough that, when blended with the chocolate’s underlying rich sweetness, the overall taste is not only pleasant but delicious.

I think TCHO’s Nutty 2.0 would be a brilliant option for a chocolate tasting party, as it showcases flavours that aren’t found in mainstream chocolates. Even in the field of upmarket and artisan chocolates, earthy and fruity flavours are easy to find whereas chocolates that render lacquer and walnuts appealing are few and far between. Unlike TCHO’s first Nutty bar, I’d definitely be keen to eat this one again. Those of you living in America – hop to it!

* In the same package from my friend, I received some equally-exciting chocolate samples from another company (as well as five packets of Kettle Corn and two necklaces from the lovely lady herself). Make sure to keep checking back for that big reveal, as well as the rest of my TCHO haul!

Bonza Monza Bubble Truffles

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Mars Bar Truffles

If I’d been a contestant on Masterchef during its “recreate a childhood food memory” challenge, I may well have considered making a Mars Bar slice. Of course, I’d have been swiftly booted from the competition had I done so, for a recipe involving three ingredients, a microwave, and nary a pellet of dry ice or edible “soil” would surely have made George curl his little lips in horror.

Before I go any further down this Mars Bar truffle-née-slice road, buckets of credit must be sent Conor’s way for inspiring me with her talk of placing Mars Bar slices in pattycake cases.

While I’m normally a good rule-follower, this time, I wasn’t. So instead of Mars Bar Pattycakes, we have Monza Truffles. I do hope Conor, and anyone else vaguely interested in this comestibles-trip-down-memory-lane, will forgive me.

Mars Bar slice ingredients

The incredibly upmarket ingredients. Well, the Nuttelex is kosher, and that must count for something, right?

And now we see the reason for calling these “Monza” rather than “Mars Bar” truffles. When I went to my local Woolworths for ingredients, I found that Mars Bars have dropped in size from 60g to 53g, whereas Woolies’ Mars Bar-mimicking Monzas were not only 60g (closer to the recipe requirements… it seems that Mars Bars were once 65g) but a dollar cheaper.

Dear Mars Bar People, you have been degraded and simultaneously one-upped by an Australian supermarket copy-cat confection.

Mars Bar Slice

Adding the Bubbles to the melted Nuttelex and Monzas. (Perhaps the most nonsensical-out-of-context sentence I've ever written?)

You know what I just realised? Remember when I reviewed this Jokerz bar, which is like a vegan Snickers? That company also does a vegan version of a Mars Bar, so if I were still in America I could have made this vegan and potentially gluten-free.

Dear Woolies, please create a vegan Monza next. Ta.

Mars Bar Slice

Ooey-gooey-yummy-chewy-Wombat-Stew. Wait, that's not right.

Enough dilly-dallying, Hannah. Onto the recipe.

Bonza Monza Bubble Truffles

After deciding to roll the following mixture into truffle-like balls instead of patting it into pattycake cases or cutting it into squares, I managed to get 23 little truffles out of the recipe. Why is 23 significant? Because I made these on my birthday for a with-coffee treat, and that birthday was my 23rd. (I certainly didn’t start eating the mixture once I hit 23 truffles so as to give the appearance of serendipity…)

-          2 x 60g Mars Bars/Monza bars
-          60g melted butter/Nuttelex/spread of your choice. Ooooh, I wonder if peanut butter would work?
-          2 cups Rice Bubbles
-          A Little Bit of Pixie Dust (i.e. decorating doozits of your choice. I used red and green coloured sugar, but drizzles of melted white chocolate might have been prettier.)

  1. Melt Mars Bars/Monzas and butter/Nuttelex in the microwave (or a saucepan), stirring until smooth. I believe I did 1m30s on medium then 3 x 30s bursts on high, stirring in between.
  2. Add Rice Bubbles and stir. Then you can do what you want – press it into a slice tin, spoon into pattycake cases, or roll into balls and nestle in tiny paper cases, as I did. Sprinkle on sugar now, if that’s what you’re going for, then refrigerate. If you’re using melted chocolate to decorate, I’d let them set in the fridge first.

Now all you have to do is finish opening and squee-ing over your birthday presents, turn on the pre-recorded Masterchef (I’m rooting for Callum and Marion, with a growing dislike of Joanne), divvy up a goodly number of Bonza Monza Bubble Truffles amongst your parents and yourself, and enjoy the journey back into sweet, sweet 10-year-old land.

Mars Bar Slice

Pre-sugar-adorning.

P.S. Happy Anniversary to my wonderful parents. Love you muchly!

A Year Ago I Had A Birthday Party

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As I mentioned yesterday, today is my birthday and my main present came from a real estate agent: my very own Smurf Kitchen. I’m glad the universe was sorting that out for me, as amidst the house-sit ending, the apartment-hunting, and the ongoing anxiety about my toe*, I kept forgetting that my birthday existed. As a result, I have nothing planned for today, and it has turned out to be the most non-birthday-ish birthday I’ve ever had. And that includes the time I spent my 21st birthday alone in a hotel in Chicago (even then, my parents had organised for flowers to be delivered to my room).

I’m not fussed about this by any means – I’ve always been more comfortable celebrating people other than myself. In addition, my parents and I are going to my favourite restaurant for dinner, and I’ve cooked up some treats (To Be Blogged) that we can snack on while watching Masterchef when we get home. So really, it could be worse.

But there’s this blog, see, and I feel a bit silly not having birthday shenanigans to post about. Solution? Tell you about last year’s birthday party, whereby I invited friends around for a Wine And Cheese Soiree, and much gustatory guzzling fun was had by all (I hope).

The noms table - partly devoured.

I can’t remember the details about all the cheeses I bought, but I do know that they came from the now-burnt-down Manuka Fine Foods cheese room and included a cheese with truffles, a fancy cheddar, goat’s cheese, edam/gouda, Brie/Camembert, and several others that I replenished stocks with throughout the night.

I made a Hot Spinach and Artichoke Dip as an homage to my time in the States, my mum made a Danish Fireball (cream cheese mixed with glace ginger, rolled in toasted almonds and paprika) as an homage to the 70s-esque feel of a wine and cheese night, there were pickled carrots and marinated mushrooms, olives, multiple dips, breads, and these divine and addictive Nigella Lawson Union Square Cafe nuts.

Oh, and of course, lots of opportunities for wine:

This was me explaining that I don't know much about wine, despite hosting a Wine And Cheese Soiree.

Towards the end of the night, there appeared gluten-and-dairy-free mini friands and little pepperment meringues that I had super fun times quenelling. Alas! In those pre-blog times, I didn’t think to take photos of everything.

Describing this party does, though, give me the opportunity to showcase one of my favourite pairs of heels (for those of you who have expressed interest before). I found these shoes in a little boutique in, or adjacent to, the Harvard campus, and fell in love.

This is me expressing my love for the friend who's known me her entire life (I was taken to meet her the day she was born, when I was 4ish months old).

Okay, so I couldn’t resist posting that photo because I love my friend’s expression, but it doesn’t really show the shoes off all that well. This is a better photo:

I cropped my top bits out of this because I felt stupid posting so many pictures of myself, but now I feel it maybe looks even stupiderer headless. So, um, just lookee the shoes?

Much better than those Parisian foot-adorners, right? Right?

* Did I mention that I’m back to the doctor tomorrow? It seems two surgeries, nine months of keeping my foot elevated and limiting movement, and enough antibiotics to surely have turned my insides pearly-white are no match for my foot.

Update: I just returned from a lovely dinner out and can happily say that it now feels very spectacularly delightfully like my birthday. Upon arriving home I opened my gifts, and I have to say that I’m overwhelmed with how wonderful they are, because they showcase how well my family knows me. I feel blessed, and loved, and to add to the happyhappyhappy, the Treats To Be Blogged are going down, well, a treat.